Baby on the brain.

amfalk

New here! DH and I just got married this year. We planned to wait 3 years or so before TTC. He's in school, we want to buy a house, etc. how did you guys keep your feeling in check? I know it's not a good time for a baby yet, but suddenly I'm wanting one when I never before saw myself becoming a mom!

lifeonthehill

I play piano. Well try anyways. It keeps me busy and is more productive than netflix. Hahaha.

Jags8

I take a moment to appreciate how much I love being able to walk out the door or make last-minute plans without a care. And how much I enjoy my glass of wine with dinner.

JordynLeighx3

Find a hobby. Focus on what you want to get done before that time.

But for the record, I have a glass of wine with my dinner all the time. I don't have to quit that nor does it make me any less of a great mom because I do. In fact, I'm a lot nicer after a glass of Pinot! Haha

Ducktale

DH and I leave the house whenever we want. Go on dates, out for coffee. We hang out with friends spur of the moment and stay out as late as we want. We've taken vacations, trained for half marathons, moved randomly to another state. We sleep in. We sleep through the night. Drink wine. Have sex whenever you want. Try new not kid friendly recipes. I pee with the bathroom door closed. I watch the Bachelor uninterupted. I work, volunteer, and play in sports leagues. We've paid off student loans, bought a house, saved money. All things we enjoy but would have been much harder with kids. There are so many things to do and enjoy. Find a new hobby or interest. Plan trips and save up for them. Spend quality time with your husband, friends, and family. Make goals not related to babies. Try to enjoy this stage of life before rushing to the next one. We're ready for a baby now, but I'm so glad I pushed any baby fever to the side for a few years and enjoyed life pre-children.

Jags8

JordynLeighx3 said:

Find a hobby. Focus on what you want to get done before that time.

But for the record, I have a glass of wine with my dinner all the time. I don't have to quit that nor does it make me any less of a great mom because I do. In fact, I'm a lot nicer after a glass of Pinot! Haha

When I mentioned the wine, that was in reference to not being able to drink (often) while pregnant. I'm totally going to continue my wine drinking once I pop that baby out.

SmileyJay

If all goes well, we will hopefully be expecting by the time our 3rd anniversary rolls around this summer. We have both wanted a baby since before we were ever married. I am lucky to have a DH who is as excited (if not more so) to grow our family as I am. But we also want to provide for our children and be able to spend time with them without being stressed out like crazy... so we had to buckle down and prioritize and wait it out a few years. 

Our first year of marriage was wrapped up in my finishing college and us buying our first house. Our second year of marriage we were doing renovations on that house and DH finished college. This year we have been maximizing our income, cutting our budget, saving money, and trying to get to a point where we have more flexibility in our schedules for a child. So now the timing finally feels right. I think the 3 year mark is a great time... for us it really feels more like the 6 year mark though because we lived together for 3 years before getting married. I also always had this personal bias that I wanted to be at least 25 when my first was born... it always felt too early before now. 

If I had gotten pregnant on our honeymoon, we would have a child just a few months shy of 2 years old right now. Finishing college would have been difficult, I can't imagine we would have been able to buy a house while juggling baby expenses, and we definitely would not be where we are in our careers because that has taken a lot of hard work and late nights, not to mention the grueling job search process and networking. We would have made it work and it would have been fine, but giving yourself time is really giving your child the gift of parents who are ready for the responsibility. 

Anyways... things we did to pass the time. We have coached youth sports, spent a ton of time with our nieces and nephews making memories with them, went out on plenty of dates, volunteered a lot, appreciated quiet nights at home and giving each other our full attention, going on nice vacations and spending money on experiences like sky diving, scuba diving, white water rafting, and just in general enjoying our youth together. Also, buying a house takes a few months out of your life and then if you are anything like me you will spend the first year just thinking about decorating rather than babies. 

The thing to remember is that while children change your life, your life doesn't end. You can still hire a babysitter and leave the house. You will still go on vacations and buy a new dress every now and then. But on the flip side, in your marriage there will never be another time where you are able to give each other 100% and also be young and vibrant. People always point to retirement like "well when we are 50 we will have 30+ years together traveling, etc." which is a nice thought but you will not have your 20 year old body, so enjoy it now. Enjoy making love, staying out late, and just having fun together. You will still have those moments after kids but it will be very different. 

SmileyJay

This was mentioned somewhere in another thread so I wanted to add it in... if you are a pet person then pets can really help to redirect some of that baby fever. We have two dogs and a cat and they are all the center of our home life. Seriously, we act like they are all our children. We got our oldest dog a year into living together and he made us feel like a family. It has allowed me to see how my DH will deal with a baby - wonderfully. He is so patient and loving. Don't get a pet if you don't intend to keep it after baby, they should be a part of your family. But it is an idea. Or if you have pets, do things like dog training courses and other dog related activities in your area to keep your mind off ttc. 

anderson2008

TheCraftyKoala said:

This was mentioned somewhere in another thread so I wanted to add it in... if you are a pet person then pets can really help to redirect some of that baby fever. We have two dogs and a cat and they are all the center of our home life. Seriously, we act like they are all our children. We got our oldest dog a year into living together and he made us feel like a family. It has allowed me to see how my DH will deal with a baby - wonderfully. He is so patient and loving. Don't get a pet if you don't intend to keep it after baby, they should be a part of your family. But it is an idea. Or if you have pets, do things like dog training courses and other dog related activities in your area to keep your mind off ttc. 

This is true! We have 3 fur babies at home and they help me get my motherly feelings out while planning financially for a baby. Cuddling a kitty at night really helps.