Overfeeding Rant

lindsayl88

I nurse my LO when I am home and pump when I work during the week. I am only gone about 8-9 hours while working.

 My mother watches him while I work. I have repeatedly told her to only feed him 4 oz bottles but she is repeatedly giving him 6oz bottles and once an 8oz bottle. I have explained to her why I want him to eat 4 oz and even had references to back up how much I believe he should be eating in a bottle while I am gone. Many mothers and messages boards, credible websites etc. suggest an oz per hour or about that for a baby his age (3 months).

 DH also watches him on his daysoff and DH NEVER feeds him more than a 4oz bottle. When I pump and feed him from a bottle I never give him more than 4oz either.

 The last time my mother watched LO I came home from work in the middle of the day and nursed him (so that should've replaced a bottle feeding). He should've had 4oz left in the fridge because I came home to nurse (I usually don't come home during the day). When I got home he had no milk left and I asked my mother where it went. She then replied she gave him a 6oz bottle and a 4 oz bottle and apparently 2oz was somehow missing. She insists that both bottles were not 6oz but I believe they were. So since I have asked her repeatedly not to feed him that much I got a little angry at her. Even if the 2oz was somehow missing she still gave him a 6oz and admitted to it. She then went off on me and told me how she feels he needs more than 4oz and she thinks I should not be telling her how much to feed him because I "have no idea how much he is getting" when I am nursing. She then tried to back up her argument with opinions she read online (that I have not read in doing my research about how much LO should be eating) and was basically telling me she's right and I am wrong.

DH watched him the next time I went to work and LO only ate 8oz while I was gone and he was fine and not acting hungry. My mother has been feeding him 12 or more oz while I'm gone. This proves to me she is overfeeding him. I also can't believe that she would argue with me and go against my wishes when watching MY child.

I think I need to find a nice way to tell her to respect my wishes as a parent and that if she does not she won't have the privledge of watching my son.

trudibell

I understand your frustration, I have had issues with grandparents not following extremely simple instructions as well.  Instead of directly telling my FIL that he was no longer going to watch LO (and that you know leaving my son in a car seat for 2+ hours was the WRONG thing to do for the umpteenth time), we just switched schedules and told him we didn't need him anymore, but we appreciated all the help he had given us.  

I find that when dealing with people who "know what's best" drop the word pediatrician.  Even if your pediatrician didn't say "4 ounces only" they won't know the difference, and the word of a medical professional trumps whatever folk knowledge/previous experience they have.  

MagickalNarwhal

LadyBlue07 said:

Pay someone to watch your child. Free child care causes more trouble than it is usually worth.

So, so this. Sorry.

kappadeltacutie

My mom watches DS...doesn't follow any instructions...and I have to pay her nearly the same as one of the local daycares lol!  It's tough to be a working mom.

pb&jojo

I pay my MIL to watch LO. She does most of what I ask, but she tends to overfeed as well. I FF, but will feed 4-6 oz every 3-4 hours. MIL does 8 oz every 4-5 hours. I have told her not to wait so long and give less, but she doesn't. The good thing is, LO seems happy and content...so as long as she's fine and not getting a tummyache I'm just going to let it go.

PB102012

somerandomchick said:

She's doing you a favor (saving you hundreds to thousands a month in childcare) so I'm not sure i would call watching your baby a 'privilege'.

However, if your childcare situation isn't working out and you've tried fixing it, you need to find a new care provider. I would never use a childcare provider who consistently ignores your wishes and even lies to you. Even if they're family.

This, 100%.

Sugaree5335

My MIL does the same thing.  She's usually pretty good about following directions, but feeding has been an issue since day one.  One day she fed him almost 20 ounces in 9 hours.  I was livid since that was like 1.5 days worth of milk.  Now, what I tend to do is make the bottles for her in the size I think he should have just like I have to do for daycare and only give her the amount that he'll need during the day. 

paperlust

My MIL has watched DD a few times and we've had similar issues. She'll go through 12 diapers in 4 hours and start asking if she can feed her formula because she blew through all the milk we left. Nevermind that we have no issues with how much milk we send to daycare. Sorry but I agree with the others - if you can't get her to listen, it may be time to look for other childcare options!