Still in shock...

MCY123

Just found out last week that I am having twins. I have a 2 1/2 year old son and I can't imagine adding 2 infants to the mix. I know I should be happy and that this is a huge blessing, but I can't get past the fear. I wake up in the middle of the night in tears every night. I could really use some advice from anyone who has been through or is going through this now. I feel really alone.

sparkman-to-be

I know exactly what you're feeling. I have a 4 year old daughter and a 17 month old daughter and this was a surprise pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant, I could not imagine having a 3rd now. Then I went to the OB and found out there were 2 and I freaked out. I had no idea what we would do, how it would work, and I alternated between laughing and crying hysterically. Probably for like 2-3 weeks. Haha.

It took a lot of time to become okay with the idea and it wasn't until I had an ER trip at 13w with a bleeding episode that I starting realizing I wanted this and it would somehow work. The thought of losing them outweighed my fears. It wasn't until 24 weeks that I allowed myself to believe we might actually take 2 home, too.

Anyhow, here I am 28.5 weeks pregnant and there are still days of anxiety or where I feel completely overwhelmed. But those days/feelings have been happening less and less. I think it is completely normal to freak out when finding out you're having more than 1 at a time. I mean, it's not the norm. Even more normal to freak out when you already have a little one or more. Just know it takes some time but it'll get better. You'll warm up to the idea but what you're feeling is completely normal. There are plenty of us that have been there and know exactly what you're going through. We also know that in time it gets better.

Congrats!!

MCY123

Thank you so much!

Kissimi21

I found out I was pregnant with my boys when DS1 was 18 months old.  I was TTA,and have no history of multiples.  The news floored me.  Emotionally, it was a rollercoaster.  Sometimes I would feel extremely lucky and blessed, other times I felt panicky and convinced that I would never be able to handle it.  I spent many sleepless nights either crying or imagining a million terrifying scenarios where my pregnancy would somehow ruin all our lives. (Overdramatic, but a sleep deprived, hormone soaked brain can come up with some really weird stuff.)

My boys are 7 months old and I can't imagine life without them.  It was hard at times.  I had moments of feeling overwhelmed and pushed past my limits, but I survived.  You will too. Every pregnancy is a little scary, having twins makes it doubly so. 

It can be really scary, but you have no idea how strong you really are. 

rcnavywife

Totally get where you're coming from! My first ultrasound was not a happy, exciting moment. It was terrifying and I had a huge ugly cry right there on the table! And we had been trying for 3 years, had used fertility treatments and knew that more than one was a possibility. We've just been taking it one day at a time. I'm finally reaching a point where I actually believe we will be bringing home 3 babies, and I'm excited to meet them.

Congrats!

whitehousem

I agree, it's totally normal to feel the way you do. We were TTC but I was still getting used to the idea of one more child... One had just gotten "easy". DD was 15 months old when I got pregnant. When the NP said she thought it was twins I started sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. I was shocked, overwhelmed, terrified! No family history, no fertility treatments (Actually they are mo/di). I felt so guilty for not wanting them. I cried for a few days (which I think is not long considering my initial reaction). I thought about all the worst things that could happen. Now I'm 16weeks and can't imagine it any other way (it may take you longer though and that's ok). It's a really special club that I never even wanted to be a part of but feel blessed that I am now. It's an amazing thing! Don't worry...

marcobonny

I was in complete shock as well when we found out it was twins. Especially considering we didn't find out until I was 16 weeks when we went in for our elective gender ultrasound and to our surprise there were 2 babies! I cried hysterically and couldn't sleep for a few nights. Now I'm at 29 weeks and still have random days and nights that it's so hard to envision adding 2 more kiddos along with my 7 y/o DD and 22 month old DS. I'll have 3 under the age of 2 when my twin girls are born. But I think we're way more excited than worried at this point! I'm sure you'll get use to the idea of twins further along in your pregnancy! Congrats and good luck!!

legaleagles

Oh sweetie...I get it...and in some ways I'm still in a bit of denial about it (I'll be 18 weeks on tuesday). I did fertility treatment and knew it was a risk, and specifically spoke with my doctor about doing our best to prevent twins...but it still happened. I cried for days and days (and sometimes still do). I have a 2 year old now - she'll be 2.5 when the boys are here. 3 under 3! Not how I envisioned my life. You aren't alone, the women here are an amazing support and wealth of knowledge. Congratulations and H&H 9 months. 

xnbride

I am with you! I have 3 boys and now we are expecting twins.  It is a surreal experience and one that is going to take some time to process.  Mostly I am just worried about getting them here safely. I figure that the rest will sort itself out as it has before. Just take it one day at a time! Big hugs. You are not alone.

Incrediblelife

As you can see from other posters, you're totally not alone in feeling this way! This pregnancy was a whoops to begin with, and the first 12 weeks I adjusted to the idea of having a third child. My first two are very close in age and I started looking forward to having just one baby to care for at a time (my girls are now 4&5). I thought of all the things I could do this time that I couldn't do last time thanks to having two babies so close. So when I found out at my 12 u/s that it was twins, I totally broke down in the u/s table. My husband was excited, but I couldn't stop crying. I barely survived the early years with my girls, and now having moved overseas a year ago, with no support system, I was supposed to have TWINS?? Besides the total panic, I also had to grieve the loss of all the ideas I had for this "one" baby I thought I was going to get. Now at 25 weeks, I'm so excited for my two boys to arrive. I still totally feel overwhelmed, but I also realize that I had a good learning experience with my girls, so it's giving me the confidence to do this. I'm most concerned about the early sleep deprivation to be honest! Haha dealing with them otherwise, it'll come, like it does for every new mom...you'll fall into a routine and gain confidence in your abilities every day. You can do this! Just always remember that yes, there will be tough moments (days!), but "this too shall pass". I find when I'm having a tough day with my girls lately, I start laughing at the fact that I'm currently only dealing with two...and soon it will be FOUR! That idea alone seems so crazy to me that I can't help but laugh at how insane it will be!....but at the same time, how wonderful and full our lives will be with these two new additions

Congratulations!