problem with one twin sleeping XP

amd1982

hi ladies - for a long time (pretty much forever!) our DD has not been a great sleeper. well, i shouldn't say that...she's not good at falling asleep on her own. we've never been able to sleep our babies in the same room as she keeps DS awake and he screams. DS has always just been able to put himself to sleep so we decided a long time ago that separating them was the best way for us to stay sane and get some sleep.

fast forward to now - they are 11 months old and counting. i am of the belief that DD should be able to fall asleep on her own by now and that naps and bedtime shouldn't be dreaded (and it is now for sure!). she is so stubborn - she will cry forever and not go to sleep. or when she finally does it's been 2 hours and she totally messes up the schedule since DS is waking up! DH and i are so frustrated and annoyed. we love her but are wondering what is going on. we've tried eveyrhintg - lovey, white noise, putting down earlier, later, etc. nothing seems to work. the second she sees us walk out of the room she screams, stands up, and carries on for hours. i'm ready to do one of two things: CIO (and i don't mean go in to reassure. we've tried that for MONTHS and it doesn't work only gets her more riled up) and start sticking them in the same room and putting ear plugs in haha. and no i'm not joking. i wonder a lot of she would go to sleep better if DS was in the room with her....

would you stick a PNP in the nursery tonight with DS and try sleeping them in the same room? it's important to me (dh doesn't agree) that they share a room. i think it's nice for bonding purspoes, them feeling secure, and also i am being selfish and want to get our third and last bedroom back (for our office). she is not ready for one nap, we tried that a couple weeks ago and it failed miserably. any help or comiseration would be awesome right now, as she's crying in her crib as i put my makeup on and i feel like a bad mom for not caring....(well obviously i care, but you know what i mean....)

mamatotwins0812

I don't have much advice for you but I can tell you that we have a similar issue. One of my guys is a much better sleeper than the other. On (pretty common) occasion, he will wake too early from a nap and just stand there and scream. And scream. And scream. The ONLY way to get him back to sleep is to stand there for multiple minutes (20 or more) and rub his back. And if he's not completely out before I stop he jumps back up and screams all over again. It's exhausting and frustrating and I feel your pain, and agree that they should be able to go to sleep on their own.
So where I'm not much help, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't start them in the same room together unless you're ready for them to both be up. I would have to assume that if they're used to being separate, the one who is screaming is going to wake the other one. That doesn't help your situation but for me, I think it would add to my stress level so I'd probably just wait. But at this point you can certainly try and if it doesn't work just switch it back. . Either way, good luck to you!!

LottaLattes

I always advocate the sleep lady book for getting her to sleep. At this point unless your son was sleeping through her crying, I wouldn't put them together unless you didn't have space. It is hard. Mine are finally (18m) getting to where it isn't a daily struggle for one waking up all night and the other sleeping well and then switching. Lots of colds and teething haven't been our friends. Good luck!!