Any blended families?

anordstrWed114947

This is my first but not my boyfriends. Anyone have blended families?

otter1103

Here here. I have two from my previous marriage and now expecting #3 with the hubby. Mine are significantly older than #3, 17 and 14 years. So the growing up dynamic will be interesting.

Jenniferm318

This is my first. But I have 2 stepdaughters (10 and 11) their mom is expecting also and due 3 months before me... It's been interesting!!

mrsgyaray

This is my first and my DH's third. He has two little girls who are awesome and are 6 and 7

sarahlynnc317

This is my 3rd and dh 2nd. My stepsons mom is due 2 months before me.

kjensen1975

@otter1103. I'm in a similar boat. My DH has 2 kids from a previous marriage aged 17 & 13. The new LO will effectively be an only child since the older is off to college and the younger lives with her mom.

babygabe614

Me. I have an 8 (almost 9) year old stepson. His mom just had a baby over the summer so he's becoming a big brother twice over in the span of a year!

chaysefaith

We are all sorts of blended. I have a 9 year old with my ex husband, a 7 year old with another ex, and now this baby on the way. This is his first, though.

Kmlinville

I'm having my first, but I have an 8 year old stepson. He lives with his mom and visits with DH and I. He will be a big brother for the first time!

mtrhomegirl

I have a 5yr old daughter from a previous marriage but this is my husbands first!!!  My DD is so excited to be a big sister and my husband can't wait to be a dad!!!

rmjones15

I have a 4 yr old son from my previous marriage, this is my husbands first. My sons father is pretty obnoxious, but my husband has been really understanding. And my son is so excited to have a new baby!

chance_encounters

ME.  I have two daughters from my first marriage.  I have a 10 1/2 month old and am pg with my 4th from my 2nd marriage.  

jenn72178

My DH has 4 children from his previous marriage (18, 13, 11, 9)  3 girls and the youngest is a boy.  The oldest is away at college and seems happy. The youngest (the boy) could care less but the 13 and 11 year old girls are giving us a really hard time and often cry and make a big fuss over it ad say this baby isnt going to be their 'real' family-- it breaks my heart since this is my first (and probably only) child..  I love the step kids .. I just hope they are able to adjust to our new blended situation..  le sigh! 

Gigi8212

I have a 13 year old stepdaughter that my husband and I recently got full custody of, plus our dd is 16 months, so this baby will be #3.

tnd1218

I have a almost 12 yr old DD who my DH considers his own (her "dad" has disappeared the last 11 or so years). We have a 4 yr old DS so this will be our second child together.

SashaPervaya

I've got a 13 year old stepson who lives with his mom during the school year (spends time with us during the summer and on holidays).  We waited for Thanksgiving to tell everyone, so that we could tell him in person first.  This will be his first time being a big brother.

I have a question for the group.  What things are other people doing to help their kids (particularly who don't live with you full time) feel fully integrated into the expanding family?  I want my step son to continue to feel like a full-fledged member of this family, and not like he's being replaced or like his mom's family is "his" family, and that we're now our own family that lets him visit.  We thought about letting him decide if and how we find out the gender, and even giving him naming rights (maintaining veto power, of course), but he's not that into it.  I mean, he's excited about the baby, he just genuinely doesn't care when we find out the gender or what we name it.  :-)  I'd love to hear what other people are doing, though!  Since we only get to spend limited time with him, we're sort of trying to get creative.

Mztwilson

I have 2 from a previous relationship and my dh and I are expecting our 2nd together. My older 2 kids real dad doesn't have anything to do with them because the last time they went for a visit his whole family was mean to them. My son came back with marks under his armpit from being drug up stairs. Not to mention the drugs and drinking I was told about when they got back. Neither one of them want to see their real dad so until they decide they are ready I don't push it. They are 6 and 8. Some people think I'm in the wrong and keeping them from him but in all honesty I'm just being a mom and protecting them. My hubby has stepped up to the plate and treats all the kids as his own.

babygabe614

jenn72178 said:

My DH has 4 children from his previous marriage (18, 13, 11, 9)  3 girls and the youngest is a boy.  The oldest is away at college and seems happy. The youngest (the boy) could care less but the 13 and 11 year old girls are giving us a really hard time and often cry and make a big fuss over it ad say this baby isnt going to be their 'real' family-- it breaks my heart since this is my first (and probably only) child..  I love the step kids .. I just hope they are able to adjust to our new blended situation..  le sigh! 

@jenn71278 I'm sorry they are having a hard time adjusting to the idea - I'm sure once the baby comes they will fall in love with him or her and will understand that you guys are ALL family, no matter how the biological pieces to the puzzle fit. Hugs to you!

Annalouhoo

Mztwilson said:

I have 2 from a previous relationship and my dh and I are expecting our 2nd together. My older 2 kids real dad doesn't have anything to do with them because the last time they went for a visit his whole family was mean to them. My son came back with marks under his armpit from being drug up stairs. Not to mention the drugs and drinking I was told about when they got back. Neither one of them want to see their real dad so until they decide they are ready I don't push it. They are 6 and 8. Some people think I'm in the wrong and keeping them from him but in all honesty I'm just being a mom and protecting them. My hubby has stepped up to the plate and treats all the kids as his own.

Once my kids were old enough to decide if they wanted to see their dad I let it be their choice. They don't want to. Kids can recognize a*holes too. It pisses me off he even gets the title of dad, because he certainly isn't one.

megzep

Me. I have ten year old from previous marriage. He's super excited. This will be hubby's first

Lianneferrick

DH has a 4 yr old DD from a previous relationship we see her every other weekend but DH is currently going to court for more time. I love her and she seems very excited about the new baby even though I don't think her mother is very happy but oh well, we can't wait for our family to expand

roadspeckle

This is my first, my husbands second. He has a four year old and we split custody with her mom.

Edited: spelling

mcgoocasper14

This is my 7th but DH took me on with 5 kids....very brave man!!! I'm really lucky! This will be our 2nd together.

anordstrWed114947

My boyfriend had 4 girls. The two oldest are 13,14. They are not really excited. We have been planning this and taking for a long time with them. They were all for it at first. Now it's real.

The 10 and 5 year old are really excited.

I have help raise the 5 year old so to her I am mommy. Second to her mother but I have a strong bond with her. I have been the one there for her for everything. All gymnastic dance school medical things. I do it and dad is there when he can. Her bio mom wants updates. She has her own life.

Our baby mama drama is a bit crazy and messed up. I'm happy to chat with people but I feel like so many judge.

This is my first.

JenC2013

My BF has a 7 yo son from his 1st marriage. We have a 6 month old DD together and are 15 weeks into baby #2. My soon to be step son and I have a great relationship and he has started calling me mom. his mom is still in the picture but his father and I have him 75% of the time. Blended families make wonderful families.

Lianneferrick

Do any FTMs with step children feel as though your husband acts as a know it all because they have done this before and you haven't?

mommyof2boys922

Have 2 ds's from previous marriage. Ages 6 and 9.
This will be dh's first.

CreEspree

I have DS (3) and DD (2) from a previous relationship. This will be DH's first.

SashaPervaya

Lianneferrick said:

Do any FTMs with step children feel as though your husband acts as a know it all because they have done this before and you haven't?

I was kind of afraid he would be.  He and I are both insufferable know-it-alls about nearly everything else, but he's really being quite sensitive.  But now I keep asking him things like, "How many onesies do you need?"  And he's all, "I don't remember, that was 13 years ago!"  :-P  He's been pretty great, and in my case it's comforting to have someone around who's done this stuff before.

Lianneferrick

I shouldn't be so hard on him he is in general a know it all lol, we went to babies r us and we haven't registered yet but he pointed out so many things that are a waste of money etc, I would like to make those decisions together not be told them. I know at times I'm being overly sensitive I can't help it lol

anordstrWed114947

Lianneferrick said:

Do any FTMs with step children feel as though your husband acts as a know it all because they have done this before and you haven't?

Grr makes me so mad!!

alliebeecher

This is my first and my husband's second.  His 20-year-old son lives with us full time and has for over ten years.  He doesn't particularly care about the baby, but I'm sure he will once it starts affecting his social schedule and video game time...

zipscheer07

My husband has 2 girls from a previous relationship, 7 and 5. We have a DD together who is 8 months. This is our 2nd together!

momof5sept18

I have 2 sons (4&2) from a previous marriage and this is DHs first. We're blended and couldn't be happier. Tho DH doesnt consider us blended, he says my boys are his. (:

becomingmommyagain

I have three teenagers 17, 15, and 14.  This will DHs first baby.  We've been together for 10 years and he's been great to my kids.  A year after we got married we moved across the country from kids dad (which was the best thing that ever happened to them) and my DH stepped up as father figure for them.  He's vested so much time into my boys with scouting, camping, hunting, working on cars and teaching them to drive. And has been the ever protective father of my daughter.  

At 16 we gave my oldest the choice to move back to Florida with his dad.  We had just moved to to the and he was finding a lot of trouble to get into and we felt that living on 6 acres in the middle of no where was a better option than the middle of the city.  

Now we have my 15 year old daughter and 14 year old son living with us.  They are very excited about the baby.  We told my oldest when he came up for Thanksgiving.  He was rather emotionless and only wanted to know if we were having a baby because he isnt here anymore.  

Being that this is DHs first (and probably only) I've tried to keep from being the "know it all".  It's actually been really easy since so much has changed since the last time I had a baby.  And we did IVF, so everything was different in the beginning.  But even looking at cribs and bottles etc...everything is so different!

jasa2013

Hello All!

I am 32 years old and just found out I'm nearly 6 weeks along and due around Jan 11th! I have never had my own child, but my husbands son is 10 and lives with us a few days out of the week and we recently took in my brothers 2 girls ( 3 & 7)....they have been with us since Thanksgiving and at this point, I think will be here for good.

I am extremely nervous about having the baby with our lives being so full right now! I don't know how it is going to play out. I'm especially nervous about how the 3 year old will react after the baby is here. She is extremely clingy.

katekat8721

mrsalmendarez11 said:

Hello All!

I am 32 years old and just found out I'm nearly 6 weeks along and due around Jan 11th! I have never had my own child, but my husbands son is 10 and lives with us a few days out of the week and we recently took in my brothers 2 girls ( 3 & 7)....they have been with us since Thanksgiving and at this point, I think will be here for good.

I am extremely nervous about having the baby with our lives being so full right now! I don't know how it is going to play out. I'm especially nervous about how the 3 year old will react after the baby is here. She is extremely clingy.

Congrats on your pregnancy! You may find more in common with your own boards though sweets. Good luck

https://forums.thebump.com/categories/1st-trimester
https://forums.thebump.com/categories/january-2015-moms

vv826

I have a 7 year old DD! This will be DH's first but he has been DD father for the past 5 years he's raised her and she knows him as her "real dad", that's what she says if you ask her the difference between him and her biological father. Her biological dad pops in every 3-4 months asking to see her but she refuses.

cspencer85

This is my first and my bf has a 14 year old son from a previous marriage. His son is used to it..he has three other half-siblings.

mercy0606

This is my first and my hubby has a 14 year old son! He is lovely and is happy he is getting a baby brother!

Abenedict2011

I have a SS (13) and SD(9). Both are excited in their own ways. @ 13 my SS I think will be more excited when baby actually arrives, and SD is super excited--she even took a baby sitting class to get ready! She's going to be a huge help this summer.