Sick + Contractions = No Bueno

LadyJ2949

Nothing like the holidays to bring on the stress. My father didn't show up on Thanksgiving and is now threatening to not come to the hospital when I have the baby because he is upset with my sister for moving in with her boyfriend. Basically, he refuses to be there if she is there too and is saying I have to choose and/or coordinate their timing if I want him to show. Since I'm a few hours away from them both, this would basically mean he is asking me to tell her not to come out when I have the baby. Obviously this is really upsetting and putting me in a terrible position because I am very close with my sister and want her there but I also think my dad should be there too (regardless of how much of an asshole he is being). Two sleepless nights and lots of tears later, I started having low, menstrual like cramping that was pretty consistent. I wasn't sure what it was, if it was just stress or what, so I just dealt with it knowing I had a doctor appointment already scheduled for today.

I told my doctor this afternoon what I had been feeling and they did a NST and I was having consistent contractions. Thankfully, I'm not dilated and my water hasn't broke so they said I just need to take it easy. While I was there I also got my flu shot (finally) and then headed home to rest. Fast forward to a few hours later and here I am with a sore throat and feeling sick. I was only able to sleep for 4 hours and now I'm stuck up at 3 am feeling crappy (and still contracting, by the way. Good times.) This mama can't catch a break today.

Thanks for listening to me vent. You deserve some cookies.

 

RedSaffron

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this and seem to be in the middle. I am assuming your sister is old enough to move out on her own, but having your dad this upset is unreasonable. Sooner or later children have to leave the nest.. You should be upfront with him that you are not a mediator and tell him that he's being childish that he would miss a beautiful memory of his grandchild just because of something petty. I hope all goes well in these couple of weeks and don't stress out too much, you don't deserve it. Thanks for the cookies!

LadyJ2949

Thanks! My sister is 21 and has been with her boyfriend for 3 years. They are the cutest couple and he treats her like gold. My dad hasn't spoken to her in 3 months over this and when asked he says it's never going to end. I actually put it all on the line the other night, telling him how pointless all this is and how I shouldn't have to beg my father to want to be there. Life is too short for this. But he is unreasonable and has issues and I think I just need to disengage from the whole situation. I spoke my mind and now it's just in his hands. 

I'm now laying here unable to sleep, sick, and still having sporadic contractions. It can only go up from here, right?  

kiki1978

I'm so sorry that your family can't put aside their differences for the time being. I'm sorry you are being put in the middle during a time when you should be joyous and excited. I think you did the right thing by talking to him.I don't see how what your sister does should affect the birth of your child and who is there. Lots of ((hugs)) your way.

ScarlettDahlia

It's not fair that you're being put in the middle of your dad and sister. I think that's great that you talked to your dad about it. And hopefully you start feeling better! 

bensmommy518

So sorry you are going through all that family drama and now are sick on top of it.  It always gets me angry when adults cannot behave like adults.  Why should you be punished for something between your sister and your dad.  I know you said you tried to talk to him but I would try again and just tell him straight out "Look, I want you both there becasue you are both important to me and this baby.   However I am not your parent and I cannot tell you how to behave.  If you cannot put your personal issues aside for a few hours to come and meet your grand baby, that makes me sad but I will have to find a way to accept it.  I hope however you can step back from your anger and see how missing this moment will negatively affect both you and the baby and I truly hope you find a way to prevent that from happening." 

twobluelines

I would tell him that the choice to not see his grandchild is his and his alone to make and that you will not allow him, your sister or anyone else to mar that incredible day with petty and jealousy. 

Munchie2.0

twobluelines said:

I would tell him that the choice to not see his grandchild is his and his alone to make and that you will not allow him, your sister or anyone else to mar that incredible day with petty and jealousy. 

This! 

You shouldn't have to worry about that while you are in labor... be clear on that! You will not tell someone they have to come at a "specific" time- You don't even know what time LO will arrive. 

Men can be stubborn, but if he is okay with missing this moment in your life, it's on him... NO ONE else

LadyJ2949

BabyKezar said:

twobluelines said:

I would tell him that the choice to not see his grandchild is his and his alone to make and that you will not allow him, your sister or anyone else to mar that incredible day with petty and jealousy. 

This! 

You shouldn't have to worry about that while you are in labor... be clear on that! You will not tell someone they have to come at a "specific" time- You don't even know what time LO will arrive. 

Men can be stubborn, but if he is okay with missing this moment in your life, it's on him... NO ONE else

I completely agree. It's just something that is almost unforgivable, you know? I honestly don't know if I could get over it if he let this get in the way of being there for one of the biggest moments of my life and meeting his grandchild. There's a long history of issues with my father so I shouldn't be surprised, but I guess I just hoped he wouldn't pull something this bad.