Advice

Hkula

STMs, if you could go back in time and give your FTM self some advice what would it be?

ac1259

Your entire mothering self worth is not centered around whether or not you BF. A stressed out and depressed mommy isn't good for anyone. 

cnwilbur1030

Find someone to talk to if you are having some depression. With DD, we were new to the area and so I didn't have any one but poor tired DH to talk to. It's ok to reply to "Isn't having a baby great?!" with a "Not so much." Communication is key.

cowscrub

Be patient with yourself, perfection isn't going to happen.
And seriously sleep when you can! The first few weeks are beyond exhausting and as much as having company around is nice for some adult conversation and interaction, sleep is a must!

Chuckaluck315

Oh - this is a great question!

Don't be afraid of others judging you - just be the very best momma you can be. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

I was an AP, breast feeding, homemade organic food making, stay at home mom for my first two kiddo's, but I know AMAZING parents that do cry it out, formula, gerber peas, baby sleeps in their room from day 1 and they go to daycare full time as soon as mom goes back to work. The kids from both kinds of families are great! The big thing all of these kids had was parents who loved them (not spoil them), advocated for them and guided them towards good choices.

Don't let other people tell you what is right for you and your family. Listen to their words, take advantage of their experience and apply it as it works for you. Breast feeding might work for you and your family, it might not. Cry it out may work for you and your family, it might not. Cloth diapers might work for you, they might not. If you feel like someone is judging you for your choices, find someone new to be around.

Another big one is experienced mom's tend to have baby induced amnesia, they remember this super great and easy method for sleeping, colic, gas, first foods, breast feeding, walking...etc. but they forget the amount of time and energy they put into making it work. If it looks amazing and easy, it's probably a gimmick.

phew! Sorry for the novel - here's KrumKake!

monkeybutt61612

Newborns can also be really, really boring. I thought we were doing something wrong by not being overwhelmed and super stressed everyday.

lolinshag

Very nicely said, @chuckaluck315

juliasmama2010

Relax.  Is baby fed?  Have a dry diaper?  All is right with the world!  Also, I would tell myself to contact the LC at the hospital so I could maybe have some success with BF.  I'll be taking that advice this time for sure, especially since I know one of the LC at my hospital.

bensmommy518

Do what works for you and screw everyone else. 

sugarland726

Let it go. Whatever it is, just let it go.

Oh, and trust your husband. He's going to parent differently than you do, but that doesn't mean he's going to parent badly. He's a first time dad just like you're a first time mom. That doesn't make you better than him.

Katie&Andy&Kitten

There is no "right" way to parent your child. Forget what you read in those baby books and just go with the flow. 

Also it doesn't make you a bad mother to let your baby cry for a minute, especially if you;re feeling overwhelmed. If he is crying, it means he is breathing and is alive.

McGuireMommy

ac1259 said:

Your entire mothering self worth is not centered around whether or not you BF. A stressed out and depressed mommy isn't good for anyone. 

All of this.

worleygirl

Let your husband help and give him space to do things his way. I've seen so many of my friends pick apart the way their husbands do things and the husbands just give up. Everyone ends up resentful. Just when you think you can't take anymore of a certain phase things will change and there will be something new to worry about.