A Birth Story
ATXmommas
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Days Leading Up to Labor
In the last couple weeks leading up to Sebastian’s birth, this momma was getting tired. Overall, I had a very easy pregnancy with few complaints, but like most women who are nearing 40 weeks, I was beginning to feel more aches and pains and extremely uncomfortable.
I met with our doula, Elizabeth, when I was 37w6d and discussed natural methods to support labor induction when the time came. I continued the discussion with one of the OBs from my OB/midwife practice at my appointment two days later. Based on their advice, I started drinking raspberry leaf tea and taking evening primrose oil both orally and vaginally, and I continued to practice yoga, cook dinner, do some light cleaning, and take long walks. I also ordered Dr. Christopher’s Birth Prep, an herbal supplement, from Amazon and made an acupuncture appointment with the same acupuncturist who helped me get pregnant.
During the last few weeks of pregnancy, I also got in the habit of taking a hot bath every night, which calmed my muscles before bedtime. Z usually joined me for those baths, which provided the three of us special time to spend together apart from the distractions of daily life. Honestly, some of the best moment of my pregnancy.
The doctor at my 38-week appointment also discussed the likelihood of my giving birth after the due date. She continued by telling me she was the on-call doctor during Thanksgiving (a week after my due date), so she would be the one to see me over the holiday. Although I was already very much aware of the likelihood of going past my due date, it really upset me that she just presumed I would still be pregnant on Thanksgiving rather than saying that if I were still pregnant, she would be the doctor to see me.
The following weekend we made arrangements to pick up a birthing pool that we would rent from one of Elizabeth’s doula friends. We ordered the liner for the pool, and I hoped it would arrive in time. Z was anxious to get the pool up, but I told her that we had time. I was worried about it being up and giving Bama and the cats time to poke a hole in it – we have been through several air mattresses as a result of mysterious holes that we can never find to patch.
Elizabeth also discovered a way for me to retrieve my placenta from the hospital for half the cost and none of the hoops of the court order that the hospital would otherwise require us to have. We planned to release the placenta to a funeral director, who would then deliver the placenta to our “placenta dealer,” as Z came to call her (a funny nickname that the placenta dealer enjoyed!).
I had an emotional appointment with one of the midwives at 39w1d. She affirmed everything I was doing to help prepare my body for labor and pointed out a contraction to me as it was happening. Up to this point, I had not felt anything that I identified as a contraction. Despite the assurance that my uterus was contracting, I broke down crying, feeling so uncomfortable, so tired, and so emotional. The midwife assured me that my feelings were normal and it was healthy to let it out. Based on an abdominal exam, the midwife estimated little one to be approximately 7lbs. On my way out, I made my appointment for the following week at 40w1d. That evening Z’s coworker, a chiropractor, came by the house to give me an adjustment, which provided instant relief to the achy spot in my back.
I went to my second acupuncture appointment the next day at 39w2d – a Saturday. My acupuncturist asked me if I was ready any time and I let her know that I was. This treatment was different than the last – meant to induce labor, not simply prep for labor. Following acupuncture, I went to yoga and took a long walk later in the day. I had strong Braxton Hicks contractions the rest of the day. Zayra, Bama, and I took another long walk on Sunday – about an hour. The temp was in the mid-80s and the walk was quite warm. I walked slowly and watched the people, young and old, that passed me.
As Sunday drew on, I was both dreading going to back to work on Monday and excited that I had only 3 more days to work before I officially began maternity leave. I worked in the office for half a day on Monday and Tuesday and worked from home during the afternoon, already feeling checked out. By Tuesday afternoon I felt my work was done, and I mostly just monitored email for any last minute questions or issues. I went to acupuncture on Monday afternoon and yoga that evening and took a nice walk with Bama on Tuesday.
The Dr. Christopher’s Birth Prep finally arrived on Monday. The midwife advised that I start with the lowest dose on the first day, then immediately amp up to the full dose the following day. I went to work on Wednesday and decided to be done at noon. I really had nothing left to do. I went home, considered running errands, but decided to take a nap instead. I thought I had days ahead of me to take care of some tasks that I thought I could distract myself with while I waited to have our baby. When I woke up from my nap, Bama and I took another long walk, and I smiled knowing that I didn’t have to go to work the next day. I was also relieved that the liner for the birthing pool arrived on Wednesday and that Z’s coworker was able to come by the house for another adjustment. And another good sign – I started losing my mucous plug. We were all ready to have our baby boy.
Sebastian’s Birthday – Thursday, November 21, 2013
I didn’t sleep well on Wednesday night but hardly slept in on Thursday, 40 weeks exactly, because my internal clock never allows me to sleep too late. I lounged in bed until about 8:30 and then started getting ready for my 9:30 acupuncture appointment. I had a list of things on my to-do list for Thursday. I even told myself that I hoped I didn’t go into labor that day because I felt so tired.
9:30am
I had trouble getting comfortable during acupuncture. I felt a lot of pressure high in my uterus, near my rib cage, where little one seemed to keep his feet – or something! I positioned myself on my side slightly without disturbing the needles and was able to relax for the rest of the session. I relaxed with the needles for about an hour, maybe a little longer. On my way out, I stopped at the front desk to make two more appointments – one for Friday morning and one for Saturday morning. I then walked next door to the cleaners to pick up a coat and began driving to a different shopping center approximately 15 minutes away.
~11:15am
It must have been sometime during the drive that I started feeling minor contractions. I don’t have a distinct memory of those early contractions – perhaps because I didn’t think much of them because I had experienced an increase in the frequency and intensity of BH contractions after my two previous acupuncture appointments. By the time I reached my next destination – Crate & Barrel to do some stocking shopping for Z – I definitely knew that I was having contractions and knew they felt different than BH contractions. The tightening feeling was strongest along the bottom of my uterus just above the pubic bone. I sat in my car until the latest contraction passed and went into the store. I browsed for probably 30 minutes or so, still experiencing but not timing the contractions. The woman who checked me out was clearly a new employee and had trouble applying the gift card I was using. I remember being patient although slightly annoyed by the delay and leaning against the counter while she finished checking me out.
~11:45am
After I left C&B, I drove across the parking lot to Whole Foods to pick up some lunch. The contractions were intensifying as I approached WF. I was still able to walk and talk but was breathing more deeply through them. I picked out a couple of things for lunch and checked out. The young woman who checked me out asked me when I was due to which I enthusiastically responded, “Today!” and then I watched her eyes get big as she wished me well.
~12:00pm
Z, who was at work, texted around this time. I still wasn’t convinced that I was in labor, so I just told her that I was leaving WF, was going to stop to pick up a movie, and then was heading home. I debated whether to stop at yet another shopping center; I wanted to go to a specific store to look for an ornament for my “elf” in the ornament exchange I was participating in. It was probably a silly decision, but I did end up stopping – though I was pumped to get excellent parking right next to the store I wanted to go into. The stop was very short – I was in the shop for about 2 minutes before deciding they didn’t have what I wanted.
As I drove home, I still debated on whether to stop for the movie, but by this time the contractions were pretty intense, so I passed the Redbox and made it home. I emptied my items from WF, looked at the food I bought, and realized that I felt a little sick and didn’t feel like eating. Contractions were continuing to get more intense.
12:50pm
I decided to draw a warm bath because I knew that a bath would probably soothe the contractions if I weren’t in actual labor. Before I got into the bath, I used the bathroom and there was blood in my mucous. I called my doula and explained to her what I was feeling. I had started timing the contractions after I left C&B by just looking at the clock in my car. The contractions were anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds long. She advised me to stay in the bath for at least 20 minutes to see if the contractions would subside but also suggested that I go ahead and call Z and ask her to come home.
12:57pm
I immediately called Z and let her know what was going on. She was caught off guard (as was I) and told me that she was on her way home.
1:23pm
My phone shows that Elizabeth called me back at 1:23pm. I can’t remember if I was still in the bath when I talked to her this time; I think I had already gotten out because I had gotten hot. I ended up lying on the floor right outside the bathroom as I was still contracting. I told Elizabeth that the contractions had not stopped and had gotten more intense. She told me that she would call me back in a few minutes.
1:26pm
I moved myself to our bed and got on all fours while I called my mom. My parents live in Mississippi and the plan all along was to call my mom when I went into labor so that she and my stepdad could start the 10-hour drive to Austin. I figured that this plan would allow them to arrive right around or soon after I delivered. When my mom picked up, I told her that I was having contractions and thought I was in labor (was finally convinced of this fact). After telling my mom that I thought I was in labor another contraction started, and I had to stop talking. I put the phone down and could hear my mom asking me questions as I kept trying to tell her to hold on. When the contraction subsided, I explained to my mom what was going on. She asked me if I had called the doctor, which I hadn’t at this point. She also asked if Elizabeth was on her way, and I told her that Elizabeth probably wouldn’t arrive for “a while” – that I would probably labor on my own for a while. I was fully expecting to have a 10 to 12 hour labor, so in my mind I was still in early labor, and I was not computing how quickly things were progressing.
~1:35pm
I started to feel sick, so I went back to the bathroom and threw up. My phone shows that I texted Elizabeth at 1:38pm to let her know. When Z arrived, I was lying on the floor outside of the bathroom. I think Elizabeth called around this time too, and I gave the phone to Z so that she could talk to her.
1:48pm
I called the doctor’s office in between contractions and left a message. Z talked to them when they called back at 2:13pm They asked her how far apart the contractions were. I had given up trying to time them, and in the midst of coming home to find me curled up on the floor in pain, Z forgot that she needed to time them. I managed to tell Z that I thought they were about 5 minutes apart. The doctor’s office asked that I come to the office at 2:45pm.
1:50-2:20pm
The contractions were extremely intense at this point with very little relief in between. At this point, I knew that we should be leaving the house soon, but I still could not process how far along I was. Z helped me put on a nursing bra and a t-shirt. She asked me where I wanted to be, but I couldn’t think. We ended up going to the downstairs bathroom. I told Z that it felt like I needed to go to the bathroom (a tell tale sign for end of labor, but I STILL wasn’t processing). As I sat on the toilet, I felt a gush of water – my water broke. Either Elizabeth called or Z called her, and Elizabeth said she was on her way – she probably arrived within 15 minutes.
2:35pm
My phone shows that Z talked to the doctor’s office again. I remember Z telling me before Elizabeth arrived that the doctor’s office wanted me to come to their office, and I thought they were out of their minds. There was no way that I could make it up to their office. I was in incredible pain by this point, having to scream through contractions. When Elizabeth arrived, she suggested that we immediately head to the hospital. She talked to the OB’s office and let them know. Elizabeth stayed with me while Z went to get the hospital bag, which was not fully packed because I had insisted to Z that we would have plenty of time to finish packing the bag while I was in early labor. While Z was running around the house, Elizabeth had me stand up and lean over the bathroom counter while my water continued to leak out. I told her that it was happening too fast, that I thought I would have some relief between contractions, and she told me that my baby was choosing his own birth. As I stood in the bathroom, I felt intense pressure in my behind with every contraction. With each contraction, my legs tensed up, and I stood on my tippy toes. Elizabeth encouraged me to touch the bottoms of my feet to the ground. She asked Z to find a skirt for me to wear, so Z ran back upstairs to find a skirt. Elizabeth later told me that she wanted Z to find a skirt in case I ended up delivering in the car. In retrospect, Elizabeth was clearly aware that I was nearing the end, and she did a great job of keeping both Z and I as calm and focused as possible.
Z readied the car by putting towels in the backseat of her SUV and had moved the car so that I could walk straight out and into the backseat. I leaned over the back of the seats facing the back window. Elizabeth got in beside me and told me to resist if I had the urge to push. On the way, I yelled through the contractions and rested my head on the back seat during the small breaks. Z put on some music from the playlist we had made – Bittersweet Symphony by the Vitamin String Quartet and Gayatri Mantra by Deva Premal, a song that yoga my teacher always played in her class. Both were exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.
It usually takes about 10 minutes to get from our house to the hospital (it’s immediately across the street from our OB’s office), so I imagine that’s how long it took. Elizabeth got out with me in the circular driveway while Z parked the car. I later found out that Z only ran one red light on the way to the hospital J. Elizabeth wheeled me inside and up the elevator to L&D. We ended up in a room right around 3:00pm.
~3:00pm
When I arrived in the room, the L&D nurse told me that they needed to get a reading on the baby for about 20 minutes, but then I would be free to move around as I wanted. She wrapped the fetal monitor around my belly and told me the baby’s heartbeat was good. She then conducted a cervical check and to my surprise she told me that I was fully dilated and was ready to start pushing. I’m quite sure that my eyes got giant when she told me this. The OB on call arrived – it was the one practitioner that I had not met previously. My OB/midwife office rotates the appointments between all the providers that could potentially deliver your baby. This particular OB is the one on-call doctor they have who does not actually practice at their office. I really didn’t care at this point, though. She checked me, confirmed that I was fully dilated, and told me that it was time to start pushing. I was in shock and kept saying that it was too soon. Z held my hand and kissed me while she and Elizabeth said encouraging words. I really had not imagined that I would deliver in the traditional hospital position – flat on back with legs hiked back, but that’s what I ended up doing. They offered to let me move around, but I just wanted to stay in the bed.
~3:15pm
I started pushing around 3:15pm. Elizabeth and the OB were trying to get me to relax as much as possible because I was tensing up so much with the contractions. They told me to pull my legs back, which seemed impossible Elizabeth and the nurse helped me position myself. Elizabeth stayed on my left side and I pushed my foot against her hip. I mostly held my right leg. At the nurse’s urging, I curled up my body with each push. The doctor rubbed olive oil around my perineum, and I remember Z asking (in typical Z fashion) whether the olive oil was organic. I also remember the doctor asking me if my hair was natural (I have a streak of grey hair). Not an unusual question – I get it all the time – but, the timing was way off. Wasn’t feeling especially chatty as I was pushing a baby out of me.
The pushing was somewhat uneventful, other than me getting irritated at the doctor because she kept asking me if I wanted to feel the baby’s head. This was something I had thought about ahead of time, and I had no idea if this was something I would want during labor. During the moment, though, it was not what I wanted or needed. She kept asking, and I kept saying no. Eventually, both Elizabeth and I both said no firmly enough that she stopped asking. Until she then asked if I wanted a mirror. Sigh. No again.
4:05pm
Finally (I shouldn’t say finally – it really wasn’t that long), they told me one more push and baby’s head was out, then his shoulders. Felt like the hugest relief. I cannot adequately describe the physical satisfaction that I felt. They immediately put him on my chest, though he fell right at my bust because his cord was a little short. They waited until his cord stopped pulsing before clamping, and then Z cut the cord. Not long after, I delivered the placenta, which also felt great! As the doctor pulled the placenta out, she showed us the bag where our little guy had just spent so much time and showed us the placenta. We have an awesome picture of my reaction to the placenta.
Side note – Elizabeth is a very experienced doula who has an established doula practice in NYC. She moved to Austin a year or two ago and is building an Austin branch. Z and I agreed for an apprentice to be present during the birth (we had met her a couple of times during our prenatal visits). She was present during the birth and took pictures for us. She did an incredible job, and we have some amazing pictures of Sebastian’s birth. I promise I won’t be posting those pics on FB or the Bump. ;-)
Once the cord was cut, they took Sebastian away shortly to weigh him and returned him immediately. I left him on my chest to let him find my breast. I kept asking Elizabeth if he would be able to “climb” my breast – because they had gotten quite large during pregnancy! We took video on Z’s phone and my phone as our brand new baby boy made his way to my nipple and breast fed for the first time. It was an incredible and beautiful experience.
Shortly after Sebastian’s birth (and several times since), I cried for our first son, Daniel. I cried for his loss. I cried out of acceptance of his sick little body. I cried because both his presence and loss in our lives led Sebastian to us. And, immediately, I couldn’t imagine our lives without him.
Epilogue
Can birth stories have epilogues? Well, mine does!
I know from anecdotal stories and from child birth class that no labor goes exactly as planned, and to some degree I was prepared for that. My plan had already gone awry when I learned that I wouldn’t be able to deliver at the birthing center my OB/midwife practice had recently opened. When I found out, I was upset, cried a little bit, then moved on. We found a birthing pool to rent and had a doula that felt comfortable with my laboring at home for quite a while. What I had not, however, planned on was a quick labor.
During the course of our child birth class, the instructor,
who is also a doula, attended a birth, which turned out to be a very quick
labor. The instructor told us that it
was a scary experience for the mother.
When I asked why – because a quick labor sounded fantastic to me – she
explained that it can be a scary experience for labor to progress so
quickly. With a longer labor, the mother
has time to process what is happening, to get used to the rhythm of the
contractions, and figure out how to get through each contraction as the
intensity builds. A mother doesn’t have
time to do any of that during a quick labor, so it can be scary.
She was 100% accurate. I was really
confused and scared, especially when the contractions became most intense. Because I didn’t realize that I was in
transition, I was imagining hours more of those contractions and I didn’t know
how I would get through it. Eventually
when I was at the hospital and was told that I was ready to start pushing,
while relieved, I was also shocked and not mentally prepared to start
pushing. I got there quickly - I had no
other choice.
Afterwards, the entire experience seemed surreal. I’ve told the story many times since and have found so many things about Sebastian’s birth to smile and laugh about. As scared and as shocked as I was during labor, I wouldn’t change a thing. Elizabeth was right. Sebastian chose his birth. He was ready to meet the world and nothing could stop him.
Re: A Birth Story
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Engaged 10/2/1202
BFP (a lil quicker than expected) 12/7/2012
Married to my best friend 12/24/2012
Beautiful baby girl arrived 8/15/2013
BFP #2 3/13/2016