I think a small shower with only your nearest and dearest friends and family is acceptable because these are the people who would have probably given you a gift anyways. I also wouldn't register as that would put your guests in an awkward position.
However, yes, in my opinion a big shower for second child that is the same size as the first shower does come across as impolite and like you are taking advantage of others generosity and kindness. Yes, I understand that they can decline the invitation, but I feel it still puts them in an awkward position and I don't think that is the OPs intention.
I think second showers are rude and tacky no matter the age difference or difference in gender. It's not your friends and family's fault you didn't save things or cannot afford to outfit your child yourself.
Speaking of rude... THAT response was insanely rude. I went to a baby shower for a woman's third child (already had a boy, age 5, and a girl, age 3) last spring and there were over 50 people there. Why? Surely not because she was gift grabby or rude, but because her mother in law throws great get-togethers and we are a part of a wonderful community of friends. The party was thrown and attended because we WANTED to - not because she couldn't afford the child.
If someone chooses to offer you a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 12th shower, that's their prerogative. Same as being thrown one for your first.
OP: I agree with the pp's -the ones who aren't being stuck up jerks- if no one offers, then no shower.
I think it's utterly hilarious that you called her honest response rude and then went on to call names like asshole and bitch. Are you the pot or the kettle? WTAF? Dial back your psychotic a little and calm your tits.
Showers for second babies are poor etiquette. Showers are to welcome the MTB to motherhood, once you are already a mother, you do not get another celebration to re-welcome you. It's gift grabby and tacky.
Aww do you shop at pottery barn as well?
PAL Sep challenge George Takei
Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
The world is changing. Not everyone pops out kids back to back anymore. Not everyone has storage space for a lot of baby stuff if they weren't planning on another child soon after the first. If you need/want help then why not? Even though it's still not the "norm" in my social circle for a second shower, I at least put together a "diaper drive" for my bestie when she had her second kid. They had everything else but I thought it would be a nice surprise if a bunch of her friends pitched in for diapers. Now they are done having kids and she's giving me a bunch of stuff! If you have a friend or family member that would be willing to do one then go for it!
Oh I like the first bit of this, that is a good point.
PAL Sep challenge George Takei
Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
My kids were 21 months apart and a coworker of mine would not take no for an answer because "every baby needs their own party." I think it's rude to refuse one (though I did try to get her off the idea numerous times) so if someone's wanting to throw you one, let them. Some people just like any excuse to throw a party/have a get together/whatever. Expect one or throw one yourself? No.
ETA - I really didn't even need anything for DD so I think everyone enjoyed being able to buy girly items at their leisure.
I think second showers are rude and tacky no matter the age difference or difference in gender. It's not your friends and family's fault you didn't save things or cannot afford to outfit your child yourself.
Speaking of rude... THAT response was insanely rude. I went to a baby shower for a woman's third child (already had a boy, age 5, and a girl, age 3) last spring and there were over 50 people there. Why? Surely not because she was gift grabby or rude, but because her mother in law throws great get-togethers and we are a part of a wonderful community of friends. The party was thrown and attended because we WANTED to - not because she couldn't afford the child.
If someone chooses to offer you a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 12th shower, that's their prerogative. Same as being thrown one for your first.
OP: I agree with the pp's -the ones who aren't being stuck up jerks- if no one offers, then no shower.
I think it's utterly hilarious that you called her honest response rude and then went on to call names like asshole and bitch. Are you the pot or the kettle? WTAF? Dial back your psychotic a little and calm your tits.
Showers for second babies are poor etiquette. Showers are to welcome the MTB to motherhood, once you are already a mother, you do not get another celebration to re-welcome you. It's gift grabby and tacky.
Well obviously no one agreed with me. Oh wait. They did. Welcome to the party- two days late. Most of us have moved on.
BFP #1 May 20, 2013 MC June 27, 2013 BFP #2 August 2, 2013Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
No, I leave that cheap, homogenous garbage for the tacky people, you know, the ones who think its okay to throw showers for second babies. More items on their clearance rack for you, sweets.
Do you plan on removing that stick before delivering or is it wedged so far up there at this point that it would require surgery?
No, I leave that cheap, homogenous garbage for the tacky people, you know, the ones who think its okay to throw showers for second babies. More items on their clearance rack for you, sweets.
Do you plan on removing that stick before delivering or does is it wedged so far up there at this point that it would require surgery?
Why don't you ask your English teacher.
Oh.
Sorry, dollface, you don't warrant my full attention.
No, I leave that cheap, homogenous garbage for the tacky people, you know, the ones who think its okay to throw showers for second babies. More items on their clearance rack for you, sweets.
Remember being cranky causes a saggy vagina!
PAL Sep challenge George Takei
Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
No, I leave that cheap, homogenous garbage for the tacky people, you know, the ones who think its okay to throw showers for second babies. More items on their clearance rack for you, sweets.
Remember being cranky causes a saggy vagina!
As long as that asshole remains a steel trap, I don't think she minds...
I think second showers are rude and tacky no matter the age difference or difference in gender. It's not your friends and family's fault you didn't save things or cannot afford to outfit your child yourself.
Speaking of rude... THAT response was insanely rude. I went to a baby shower for a woman's third child (already had a boy, age 5, and a girl, age 3) last spring and there were over 50 people there. Why? Surely not because she was gift grabby or rude, but because her mother in law throws great get-togethers and we are a part of a wonderful community of friends. The party was thrown and attended because we WANTED to - not because she couldn't afford the child.
If someone chooses to offer you a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 12th shower, that's their prerogative. Same as being thrown one for your first.
OP: I agree with the pp's -the ones who aren't being stuck up jerks- if no one offers, then no shower.
I think it's utterly hilarious that you called her honest response rude and then went on to call names like asshole and bitch. Are you the pot or the kettle? WTAF? Dial back your psychotic a little and calm your tits.
Showers for second babies are poor etiquette. Showers are to welcome the MTB to motherhood, once you are already a mother, you do not get another celebration to re-welcome you. It's gift grabby and tacky.
Well obviously no one agreed with me. Oh wait. They did. Welcome to the party- two days late. Most of us have moved on.
---- Ahh yes it's been established I am the bitch on the board. And looking back I have to agree with @pineconey that my original post came across as rude and I apologized to op for that (although I would like to think I'm not generally an asshole but some of you may disagree). I do feel that showers are for FTMs but if I was invited to a shower for a STM I would decline unless we were super close but I would feel like an ass not sending a gift. Its not that I don't care about subsequent kids but I only have so much time and $ and it takes a lot out of me to get my ass off the couch and out of my yoga pants. I'm at the stage in my life where I have a shower every damn month and if I had one for every STM+ I would be tearing my hair out.
I am also laughing that I am now the poster woman for pottery barn since I made one comment about my love of their linens. But ok I will take it - I think you'd be sorely disappointed to come to my house and see all my place holder and hand me down furniture.
I know it's not the right store, but this seems like the appropriate place to link to the Hater's Guide to the Williams Sonoma catalog - something I think we all can enjoy. Minus Bliss +Berry - she probably finds this offensive.
@Bliss+Berry- I feel badly for those that have to live with you.
Break out the bingo cards....lolzies. This may be a new one. Seriously, did you fall down and smack your little head on the pavement? Damn I thought we were playing with you! Are we getting new cards?
PAL Sep challenge George Takei
Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
I'm having THREE baby showers.. One in my hometown with my friends and family one here where I currently live with my friends and my coworkers and throwing me one at work.. Jesus and Santa are both invited!
Discuss..
September Siggy Challenge: What I Sing in the Shower: Little Mermaid "Part Of That World"
I'm having THREE baby showers..
One in my hometown with my friends and family one here where I currently live with my friends and my coworkers and throwing me one at work..
Jesus and Santa are both invited!
Discuss..
Wait... are Jesus and Santa BOTH invited or is it Jesus dressed up as Santa?
I'm having THREE baby showers.. One in my hometown with my friends and family one here where I currently live with my friends and my coworkers and throwing me one at work.. Jesus and Santa are both invited!
Discuss..
Wait... are Jesus and Santa BOTH invited or is it Jesus dressed up as Santa?
Either way it's a party and they better bring presents to shower me with
September Siggy Challenge: What I Sing in the Shower: Little Mermaid "Part Of That World"
I think second showers are rude and tacky no matter the age difference or difference in gender. It's not your friends and family's fault you didn't save things or cannot afford to outfit your child yourself.
Speaking of rude... THAT response was insanely rude. I went to a baby shower for a woman's third child (already had a boy, age 5, and a girl, age 3) last spring and there were over 50 people there. Why? Surely not because she was gift grabby or rude, but because her mother in law throws great get-togethers and we are a part of a wonderful community of friends. The party was thrown and attended because we WANTED to - not because she couldn't afford the child.
If someone chooses to offer you a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 12th shower, that's their prerogative. Same as being thrown one for your first.
OP: I agree with the pp's -the ones who aren't being stuck up jerks- if no one offers, then no shower.
I think it's utterly hilarious that you called her honest response rude and then went on to call names like asshole and bitch. Are you the pot or the kettle? WTAF? Dial back your psychotic a little and calm your tits.
Showers for second babies are poor etiquette. Showers are to welcome the MTB to motherhood, once you are already a mother, you do not get another celebration to re-welcome you. It's gift grabby and tacky.
Well obviously no one agreed with me. Oh wait. They did. Welcome to the party- two days late. Most of us have moved on.
---- Ahh yes it's been established I am the bitch on the board. And looking back I have to agree with @pineconey that my original post came across as rude and I apologized to op for that (although I would like to think I'm not generally an asshole but some of you may disagree). I do feel that showers are for FTMs but if I was invited to a shower for a STM I would decline unless we were super close but I would feel like an ass not sending a gift. Its not that I don't care about subsequent kids but I only have so much time and $ and it takes a lot out of me to get my ass off the couch and out of my yoga pants. I'm at the stage in my life where I have a shower every damn month and if I had one for every STM+ I would be tearing my hair out.
I am also laughing that I am now the poster woman for pottery barn since I made one comment about my love of their linens. But ok I will take it - I think you'd be sorely disappointed to come to my house and see all my place holder and hand me down furniture.
I don't think you're always an asshole. I think you're a pretty straight forward person and the interwebz make you come across as raging bitch sometimes. I try to overlook it because I generally agree with you or at least see where you're coming from on most things, and I think it would've be as harsh in person.
I'm having THREE baby showers.. One in my hometown with my friends and family one here where I currently live with my friends and my coworkers and throwing me one at work.. Jesus and Santa are both invited!
Bitch+Berry - uhhh I think you are the one who needs to calm their tits.
Ha! I love it! I swear I just had this same argument with Bitch+Berry on the baby shower boards. Her ass must search the knot for "second showers" so she can go crazy! #getalife
Bitch+Berry - uhhh I think you are the one who needs to calm their tits.
Ha! I love it! I swear I just had this same argument with Bitch+Berry on the baby shower boards. Her ass must search the knot for "second showers" so she can go crazy! #getalife
)
Maybe she's related to our good friend Springs01? I'm waiting to see if she's gonna go off about ranch.
Showers for second babies are poor etiquette. Showers are to welcome the MTB to motherhood, once you are already a mother, you do not get another celebration to re-welcome you. It's gift grabby and tacky.
Last I checked, it's called a baby shower. Wouldn't that make it a party to shower the upcoming baby with gifts and welcome the new life into the world? By your description, it should then be called a Mother Shower.
Just sayin.
ETA: That being said, I am not having a shower, or a sprinkle, for this child.
Bottom line: It is always (yes, ALWAYS) more important to love and care for others than it is to be a stickler for rules or social etiquette norms. If someone can use diapers, give them diapers. If someone needs more, give them more, whether anyone is throwing them a shower or a sprinkle or a drizzle or anything else.
Love the mother and child, and welcome the child, however you are able.
Re: Baby Shower?
I think a small shower with only your nearest and dearest friends and family is acceptable because these are the people who would have probably given you a gift anyways. I also wouldn't register as that would put your guests in an awkward position.
However, yes, in my opinion a big shower for second child that is the same size as the first shower does come across as impolite and like you are taking advantage of others generosity and kindness. Yes, I understand that they can decline the invitation, but I feel it still puts them in an awkward position and I don't think that is the OPs intention.
Aww do you shop at pottery barn as well?
ETA - I really didn't even need anything for DD so I think everyone enjoyed being able to buy girly items at their leisure.
Well obviously no one agreed with me.
Oh wait. They did.
Welcome to the party- two days late.
Most of us have moved on.
BFP #1 May 20, 2013 MC June 27, 2013 BFP #2 August 2, 2013 Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
BFP #1 May 20, 2013 MC June 27, 2013 BFP #2 August 2, 2013 Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
Remember being cranky causes a saggy vagina!
Ahh yes it's been established I am the bitch on the board. And looking back I have to agree with @pineconey that my original post came across as rude and I apologized to op for that (although I would like to think I'm not generally an asshole but some of you may disagree). I do feel that showers are for FTMs but if I was invited to a shower for a STM I would decline unless we were super close but I would feel like an ass not sending a gift. Its not that I don't care about subsequent kids but I only have so much time and $ and it takes a lot out of me to get my ass off the couch and out of my yoga pants. I'm at the stage in my life where I have a shower every damn month and if I had one for every STM+ I would be tearing my hair out.
I am also laughing that I am now the poster woman for pottery barn since I made one comment about my love of their linens. But ok I will take it - I think you'd be sorely disappointed to come to my house and see all my place holder and hand me down furniture.
^^ And this is why I still respect @AprilMay9
BFP #1 May 20, 2013 MC June 27, 2013 BFP #2 August 2, 2013 Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
BFP #1 May 20, 2013 MC June 27, 2013 BFP #2 August 2, 2013 Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
Damn I thought we were playing with you! Are we getting new cards?
One in my hometown with my friends and family one here where I currently live with my friends and my coworkers and throwing me one at work..
Jesus and Santa are both invited!
Discuss..
Either way it's a party and they better bring presents to shower me with
Ahh yes it's been established I am the bitch on the board. And looking back I have to agree with @pineconey that my original post came across as rude and I apologized to op for that (although I would like to think I'm not generally an asshole but some of you may disagree). I do feel that showers are for FTMs but if I was invited to a shower for a STM I would decline unless we were super close but I would feel like an ass not sending a gift. Its not that I don't care about subsequent kids but I only have so much time and $ and it takes a lot out of me to get my ass off the couch and out of my yoga pants. I'm at the stage in my life where I have a shower every damn month and if I had one for every STM+ I would be tearing my hair out.
I am also laughing that I am now the poster woman for pottery barn since I made one comment about my love of their linens. But ok I will take it - I think you'd be sorely disappointed to come to my house and see all my place holder and hand me down furniture.
I don't think you're always an asshole. I think you're a pretty straight forward person and the interwebz make you come across as raging bitch sometimes. I try to overlook it because I generally agree with you or at least see where you're coming from on most things, and I think it would've be as harsh in person.
That's all.,
Ha! I love it! I swear I just had this same argument with Bitch+Berry on the baby shower boards. Her ass must search the knot for "second showers" so she can go crazy! #getalife
Love the mother and child, and welcome the child, however you are able.
Leave it to our lovable Christmas elf...
DS born 4/06/14
MC #2 August 2015
CP November 2015
MC#3 January 2016
BFP 5/11/16 EDD 1/19/17
I mean, uh, MY CHILD.
(But really...the pie. The pie made me out of the loop.)