I need some help...

daffy2k

So, for the last month and a half weve been dealing with the dreaded wakeful period. Finally, we have gotten back down to 1-2 wake ups through the night (there was a time she STTN, but I've all but given up on getting back to that). The real problem I'm dealing with is the few hours after she goes to bed up until I go to bed. Here's how our night goes:

6-6:30- bath, lotion, jammies, story, nurse (sometimes to sleep, other nights she's awake and puts herself to sleep in the crib)

7:15-7:30- she wakes up screaming and is impossible to console without nursing. So I nurse her back to sleep, go to lay her down and she wakes up screaming again. Now I either nurse back to sleep or lay her over my shoulder and stand rock her back to sleep. Go to lay her down, she screams again.

Some nights I eventually get her back into the crib (after 4-5 tries) and then I won't hear from her until 2 or 3 am. Other nights, we end up cosleeping in the spare bedroom because I get too exhausted.

Has this happened to anyone else? Please tell me it's just a phase and will be over soon!!

daffy2k

It's practically every night. Last night was great! She went down easy, stayed asleep until 2. I probably jinxed myself thinking we had finally passed that phase, because here we are again. I'll give the sleep cycle thing a try. Thanks!

jennOK

We're transitioning to the crib from the rock and play/cosleeping, so this is my night every night.

He will spit out his pacifier in gone rock and play and sleep for hours without it. He spits it out in the crib and is immediately screaming bloody murder.

daffy2k

We've been in the crib since 1 week old (she would not sleep in the cradle at all), so no big changes here. No clue what her problem is...?

Cricket81

This might be an UO, but is it possible her bedtime is too early? Maybe if you kept her up past that 7;15/7:30 time that she initially screams she would go to sleep more easily. I am probably not the norm, but my LO refuses to go to bed before 8:30. I've tried many times, but it's just too early for him and he thinks it's a nap. He wakes up 30 minutes later wanting to play. GL!

daffy2k

@gigglejiggle and @baby Gs mommy - I am not against cosleeping, but LO is, lol. She sleeps so much worse on the occasions that I do bring her to bed. It seems like when she knows I'm right there she no longer helps herself transition from one sleep cycle to the next, she decides to nurse her way through. It is more restful for me, since I barely wake up, but I don't feel like it is a good habit to get into (her nursing every 45 min-1 hour through the night).

@cricket81 and @NaChelleBeck - I'm going to give the later bedtime a try.  She always seems so tired right around supper. Starts rubbing her eyes and whatnot, so I try to get on the routine so we can finish before she gets to grumpy.  Today I will try to get her a later afternoon nap (she usually has a catnap around 4, but maybe if we can push it until 5 we can start bedtime a little later).  Thanks for the advice!

Cricket81

Good luck! Let us know how it goes

clairmeij

Baby A takes his last nap around 6 and goes to bed around 8. It might just be a matter of resetting your expectations of that first bed time as being just a nap.

daffy2k

Well, tonight we were able to push bedtime a little later (8 pm), but here we are not 30 min after I left the room and she's up again. I think it might simply be teething that is making it so particularly awful these days, but one thing is for sure, this girl does not know how to self-soothe. We are moving next week, so that is just going to disrupt things again, but I think after the move DH is going to have to take over these early wake ups. She is just using my breast to help her fall asleep (she isn't actually eating), so maybe if I'm lucky he can teach her to calm down with a paci (or not, whatever) and go back to sleep on her own.

daffy2k

A quick update - she has still been waking up 30-40 min after she goes down, but instead of nursing her back to sleep, and continuing the vicious cycle, I've been sitting with her in the rocker and just letting her cry if she needs to settle down. I have no problem nursing her to sleep, but I do have a problem being her pacifier ALL night long. So we are working on falling asleep without the boob. 

 The first night was a big fight. She cried and thrashed in my arms for what seemed like a 1/2 hour (in reality it was less than 10 min, it just felt so awful and I really questioned if it was the right thing to do). But once she settled and fell asleep, she actually slept. I saw her wake a little (I was feeling a little bit like a bad mommy for letting her cry and kept watching the monitor Ike a hawk to make sure she was ok), but she just tossed and turned until she found a more comfortable position and went back to sleep.

Last night, again she woke up after being in bed for about 30 min.  Again, I sat in the rocker, rocked and soothed as she cried.  The crying only FELT like it lasted 2-3 min, so my guess is it was actually about a minute.  Then she settled in to my chest and fell asleep about 5 min later.  

Last night ended up being even more successful... She cried a little around 1:00 (our usual MOTN feeding time since the wakeful period), but didn't sound fully awake so I just watched her for a minute.  Sure enough she put herself back to sleep and didn't wake until 5:30!!!! A quick nursing session and she was back in her crib.  I only just got her up for the day now, and it's 8:30!

Thanks everyone for all your suggestions.  I have a happier baby today than I have in months.  I guess we just need to work on helping her learn to self soothe a little more so she isn't so reliant on the boob

GalLaura

This is great!!! It's 4am here. I'm up for the. 3rd time tonight. I was just thinking about self soothing and saw your post. My issue is that my lo actually seems hungry every time he gets up. From what I've read, at this age, he shouldn't have to eat this much. I just don't know what to do.

daffy2k

@GalLaura - She honestly acts hungry every time too, but for us the initial wake ups were 30-40 min apart. Call it mommy intuition, but I'm pretty sure she isn't hungry after 30 min (she nurses every 2-3 hrs during the day, has 1 serving of solids and cluster feeds for 3 hrs before bed...I'm sure she's full). That's what prompted my decision. I don't believe in letting a child CIO alone in their crib, but I also believe that it is healthy to cry. So far this has worked for us. I'm hoping tonight the crying is even less, or maybe not at all. As long as it continues to improve and my baby seems happy (or even happier as she was this morning) then I'm confident I'm doing the right thing.