Who stayed with you?

wtfisup

Both our mothers have offered; I will raise my baby in a secret garbage can in the alley where the strays eat out of before that happens. Our place is small and we're pretty independent. My mom is pretty mellow, but she won't make the six hour drive without my father, who is a living nightmare of neediness. My husband's mother is a hot mess of spastic ADHD and control issues. I would end up slashing someone's throat. My husband will most likely reduce to a 3-day a week work schedule for a few months, so I think we'll be fine. We also have very close friends a few blocks away, one of which is a pediatric nurse. 

If we do decide we'd like some help, I'd rather go visit my in-laws in their mega-house than have them here. ANd I can control when we leave.

SecondTimeinMSU

My mom didn't stay. I don't know if I'd have liked it or not, it would have been nice for the help but I like being able to do things and figure out things on our own with just DH and I, so eventhough it was crazy it was a special time. My parents did watch him a couple times in the first couple months so we could go on a  final shopping trip at babies r us (oops I thought I had another month to pick up stuff) and so we could go out to dinner alone which was super nice. They are going to stay at our house with DS while we are in the hospital so he can be on his home turf but once we get home they'll leave.

EDIT- Oh and she did wash all of my babies outfits and pick up the carseat at home to install in our car. All of which I will be doing weeks in advance this time.

blueraine00

No one stayed with us for either baby. I wanted us to be alone as a family so we could figure things out ourselves. This will be our third baby, and our other two are fairly little, so this time I might ask for help for a few days!

3+milligans

My husband has a heavy work schedule, so my mom came and stayed with us. She came the week before the baby and stayed a total of 2-3 months. I had to stay in the hospital with Kiaya for a week and my mom stayed too. I couldn't have done it without her, but I get along really well with my mom. And our circumstances were crazy. My dad died in Aug. and my brother in Oct. Kiaya, the first grand baby, was born the following June. I think my mom needed to be with us just as much as I needed the help. She's supposed to be moving to our area before the new baby. We've actually considered finding a big enough place for all of us.

justme04

When my first was born I actually lived with my mom for 3 months because DH and I were saving up to move out of town. He stayed at his moms because there wasn't room in either house for the lot of us. For my second my sister an mom alternated staying with us prior to his birth because at the time they lived 2 hours away and if labor started someone needed to be there for DS1. The also stayed for a few days after. I'm not sure how things are going to go this time. My sister and an aunt moved 30 minutes away so it should at least make things easier.

AllyTales

I'm a first timer, but I don't want anyone to stay.  My parents and inlaws are local, anyway, so there would be no flying in or anything. Maybe that makes it an easier choice. I wouldn't mind some daytime "help" if my mom chooses, but I don't want anyone here overnight.

MrsAMB07

No one stayed with us. Our families are very local, so our moms both offered to come if I needed help or a break from the baby. I was okay with that because I really wanted the time alone with the baby. They'd visit, but that was enough. What I would've loved was if someone cooked for us or offered to help with the dishes, laundry, etc. but that offer didn't come so I didn't ask. With DD both of our moms would take DS for the day here and there and that was great for him and for me!

Soon2b214

No one stayed with me, but my situation was totally different.  My daughter was in the NICU for the first month of her life.  When she did come home, my husband was off work for a week so he helped out a lot.  My Mom lives in town so she would come if I needed her.

jenandbrett

No one stayed with us or will this time. I treasure the struggles and bonding of those first weeks. I frankly wouldn't have wanted to share it with anyone. You learn so much about yourself and your new role that I truly love that time. I do highly recommend freezing as many meals ahead of time as you can, though. And accept every food offer that you can when the time comes.

k2k2tog

This is my first baby, so no previous experience, and I'm not really sure what I want yet... I have a great relationship with my parents, so on one hand, I think it would be wonderful to have them come for a couple days, mostly for additional emotional support. 

On the other hand, my mom can be very vocal about her opinions and suggestions, so I wonder if I would lose my chance to figure things out on my own. I am already well aware of a few decisions we'll be making that she highly disapproves of. (ie, co-sleeping. My sister did it for the first year with my nephew and I heard lots of tsktsks, especially after they moved into a two bedroom apartment when he was about 3 months old.)

Also, I get really self-conscious when people clean things for me. 

Fortunately, our house is TINY, so extended stays are really not an option 

deliae

LoHerrim said:

TonyaCody06 said:

No one stayed. I find myself with the feeling of having to entertain them instead of being taken care of. I'm sure they would help out but I like my space and things done a certain way.

This.

I was the same way with my first but now with this one my mom is going to come after my husband goes back to work. I swear I am going to accept all help this time.

mommyof2boys922

No one stayed. I find myself with the feeling of having to entertain them instead of being taken care of. I'm sure they would help out but I like my space and things done a certain way. This is me! I don't like people in my space. i was 17 when I had my first, so I already lived with my mom but she worked nights.

Gigi8212

My mom stopped by all the time with food, but no one stayed with us. He had two weeks off of work though so that helped.

AnnaKaie

No one will be staying with us. But my mom has already been so much help with the house and clothes. 

cm716

My mom stayed and she was there to help! The first ten days she cooked, cleaned, did our laundry, and took the baby during the night. i.e. I would breastfeed her and hand her over. Mama would burp change and rock her back to sleep. It was AWESOME. My MIL also came which made me really nervous. I wasn't sure I wanted her to come because I was still recovering and didn't want to feel like I had to entertain but it turned out GREAT. She would hold baby while I napped and cook a meal or do a load of laundry if I gently prompted her. Just warn your guests, they are there to help you! You are recovering and they'll probably see some boobs while they're there.

arekeweg

This will be our first and although I want to experience it as just a family, I know the ILs are going to demand to come help. This will be the first grandchild for them as DH's an only child and adopted. They have been going crazy over my nieces and nephews when they're around. I'm very uneasy about MIL wanting to see what it's like to have a baby, breast feed and all that since she wasn't able too. I feel they are overbearing so I really don't want them here. I'm thinking we should have bought a smaller house as we can't say we don't have enough room.

I know my parents enough that they will come see the baby in the hospital and know their boundaries and will go home.

I've always been very independent an I want it to be that way when baby comes too!