Horrible results *Updated*

J&D2007

All of the embies arrested besides for one. I have one embryo that probably isn't genetically normal. I am very unhappy that they refuse to cancel to CC.S testing. I think that is just a slap on the face and, to be honest, somewhat of a scam. There is no reason in the world that I shouldn't be able to choose what I'd like done with my embryo. This is my worst ivf ever, worst maturity rate, worst number of embryos to make it to blast, etc. I expected so much more. I don't know how to describe how awful I feel. I don't understand how we can still have no diagnosis and no reason for any of this to be happening. I just don't know what to do now. I feel so lost. * Update: Dr called to discuss my results from ER. I didn't know she was going to call and I had a houseful of guests so I wasn't prepared at all. Basically, she said the the embryos were all pretty bad quality for our age. Doesn't sound too hopeful at all. She also says my lining with all the stims wasn't as thick as she'd like, only up to 8.0. I've never heard that I had a lining issue at all previously. She apologized for making me go through CCS, but said Dr.S made that policy. I think this is the end of the road for us if this one embryo isn't normal. I can't imagine what to do next. I don't see doing DE for us and I really don't see adoption fitting for us either. I think we are both in mourning and need time to figure this out.

firesiren

I am so sorry.  This brought tears to my eyes. Big Huge ((HUGS)) sent your way.  

Sophistikitty

Oh my gosh.  I can only imagine what you are going through right now.  This is so incredibly unfair.  I am so sorry. 

Sending you huge hugs.

DoublePortion

Oh, no I'm so sorry! I can't believe they won't let you cancel the testing. You are in my thoughts & prayers. I just hate it that you are dealing with this and that your experience with the clinic has been so awful. This breaks my heart. Huge hugs!!

Sophistikitty

I know that there is somewhat of a fortress around the doctors there but is there any way you can speak to your doctor directly?  I would push your nurse to speak to him/her and relay your wishes. 

liz4paws

My heart just fell to the floor reading this. I am so incredibly sorry. I am blown away that they are forcing you to do testing if you don't want to. I hope you are able to get through to someone so they will honor your wishes. Giant hugs....

hmz819

I am so sorry! IF is so unfair. ((HUGS)) You have a PM

PrettyAccountant

Oh no! My heart sank when I read this. I'm so sorry. This is bullshit that they won't cancel testing - and you're correct - somewhat if a scam. My heart hurts for you. Big big hugs.

chucktgirl

I am SO sorry! That is not what I was expecting at all! Holy cow. Of course you're devastated! I just want to reach out and hug you right now. And I'm also p*ssed at them for not honoring your wishes. I don't get why they won't? That's our plan, too, if we want to cancel last second, we intend to. Oh my gosh. I am still in shock. Did they give you a full report, like how many made it to blast, etc? I am just sitting here in disbelief. I am TOTALLY keeping my fingers crossed that the remaining embie IS normal. Did they already sample and freeze it? I'm guessing that was done today. So then now you have to wait for the CC.S results. FX!!!

beachy6

I cannot believe this. How can they not cancel the testing? It's your cycle, your embryo, your plan. Scam indeed. I am so extremely sorry for how this all worked out. Not fair isn't even close to how to describe what you are going through.

JSM0801

Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you right now. You poor thing. This is all just so unfair!! You have every right to feel how you are feeling about your experience/cycle. I am so sad things went so poorly for you. Did your doctor (not sure who you saw out there) communicate the CCS testing to you or recommendations about embryo banking? I'm curious, b/c when we met with our doc, he made it very clear that if we had 6 or less embryos, he strongly recommended we freeze and do another cycle, b/c it would not be worth the expense of CCS for the few embryos that would make it to blast. He also let us know up front we had to make the decision by day 1 of fertilization, b/c they cannot go back on CCS testing once you agree to it. I am not in any way defending them, I am just wondering if your doc miscommunicated this or there was a lack of communication. And for future girls who cycle there, you need to know this! 

Sending huge hugs to you J&D!! Keeping everything crossed that your one embie is "the one". 

hmz819

@JSM0801 if you chose not to do CCS at CC.RM but then have a lot of embryos at day 5 could you add it last minute?

Mrs.McIrish

I am so sorry. It seems insane that they would test one embryo. Hugs.

J&D2007

@sophistikity- my nurse says she talked to the medical director/head of the clinic and he said no that I couldn't cancel (said dr.S made that rule up a while ago) @JSM- my doc never mentioned it. I would have recalled, as I am an incredible stickler for details. I guess we never thought much about banking, either. No one expected results quite this bad. The nurse said that 'it is in my paperwork' that I can't cancel. Never saw it, but can't say I looked either. @chucktgirl- thanks for the virtual hug, I need it tonight. I don't understand it either, but I guess that's the unbroken rule. Why would they agree to cancel it? They already have my money. I really feel like I've been had. Didn't really get a full report regarding all the embryos. This one is a 5AB and all they said was that the rest 'arrested' today. Funny how they all waited til day 6 to arrest and they couldn't have called me any earlier to let me know. I'd think long and hard about signing up for CCS if I were you.

MrsC430

So very sorry to hear this. Sending hugs & positive thoughts your way!

JM1977

This is just horrible. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also had a really rough cycle at CCRM, and it was truly devastating. To have these kinds of results after everything you invested into the cycle is heartbreaking. Cycling there was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am so happy for people when they have positive outcomes from CCRM, but when you don't, it's just a whole new level of disappointment. And I can't imagine adding to it the fact that they are still making you do the genetic testing. That is just unbelievable. I'm so, so sorry!

luvboston

So sorry (hugs)

brooklynesque

I am so sorry you're going through this. I don't blame you for being angry they won't let you cancel the testing. Huge hugs.

Lacyj67

Wow this is so not right! Makes me so mad that they have taken this out of your control. So sorry!!

BzeetyD

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it didn't go well and I'm sorry to hear about your embies.

Km672

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't want the testing done either and it would infuriate me that they told me I had no choice.

I'm so very sorry it turned out this way.
I really hope the one you have is normal and you get to transfer it.

poohniki

Wow.. I am so so sorry you are going through this. I know at my clinic you can cancel anything last minute. The only thing they pressure you on is only transferring one embryo- other than that there is really no being blindsided- Heck I am sure you can cancel the CCS testing while you're on line waiting for your embryos' turn in the machine. 

I hope you have an opportunity at transfer before you have to wonder what to do next. Hugs

Sophistikitty

J&D2007 said:

She apologized for making me go through CCS, but said Dr.S made that policy. I think this is the end of the road for us if this one embryo isn't normal. I can't imagine what to do next. I don't see doing DE for us and I really don't see adoption fitting for us either. I think we are both in mourning and need time to figure this out.

I have been thinking about you.  I am so very sorry for all you are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers. MASSIVE HUGS.

hmz819

Again, I am sorry. I hope that you and DH can figure out what will work best for you both. We are here to support you no matter what. ((Hugs))

Km672

I'm so sorry for the unexpected phone call. I'm so sorry about all of this actually.

Take the time you and your husband need to mourn. You've been through so very much.

I hope you get good news on your embryo.

chucktgirl

Gosh J&D, I'm so sorry that you keep getting kicked. That sucks that the call came at such an inopportune time. I'm glad that she apologized for the CC.S snafu, since I don't feel apologies come very easily from that clinic. When do your results come in? I don't know how much wishing and hoping help, but I am wishing and hoping so much for a normal for you that I actually just squeaked out loud! Regarding your lining, isn't that exactly why they push for an FET over fresh? I have little doubt that if you've had good linings in the past that you can expect that for your (hopefully) upcoming FET! Hang in there!

J&D2007

chucktgirl said:

Gosh J&D, I'm so sorry that you keep getting kicked. That sucks that the call came at such an inopportune time. I'm glad that she apologized for the CC.S snafu, since I don't feel apologies come very easily from that clinic. When do your results come in? I don't know how much wishing and hoping help, but I am wishing and hoping so much for a normal for you that I actually just squeaked out loud! Regarding your lining, isn't that exactly why they push for an FET over fresh? I have little doubt that if you've had good linings in the past that you can expect that for your (hopefully) upcoming FET! Hang in there!

Results in a week and a half or so she said. I really gave up on the embryo to be quite honest. I know that sounds horrible but I really can't wish and be hopeful anymore. If it is normal by some stroke of luck that I don't seem to have, I will be so extremely greatful but I can't expect that right now. As for the lining, I've never paid much attention to it. My RE says that it's been 'fine' and I never gave it much thought. I don't think it's ever been more than 8mm though stims and transfer, but maybe that isn't good enough? We have too many people over to even begin to discuss this between us, but it sure sounds like I have the eggs of a 45 year old and I have no idea why. I never knew I had a quality issue. I don't know what to do at all, I'm quite stunned.

mm29

I'm so sorry! (((Huge hugs)))

Km672

I'm kinda surprised she said that about your lining... Mine has always been around 8 and I've never heard this wasn't good enough

JSM0801

J&D-I'm glad you heard from your doc. I hope you expressed your disappointment that she never mentioned the CCS policy. That was a huge failure on her part, and there is no excuse! Hopefully you were able to enjoy a nice TG with your family in town and take your mind off all of this for awhile. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that your little embie comes back normal!!

hmz- I do not think you can add CCS testing later in the game. Don't quote me on this, but I believe you have to agree to doing it from the start, since there is paperwork to sign, and you have to take a class on it and meet with a genetic counselor. You can however cancel it on day 1 of fertilization, if you do not have a good # of embryos to make it worth testing. 

J&D2007

Km672 said:

I'm kinda surprised she said that about your lining... Mine has always been around 8 and I've never heard this wasn't good enough

I hadn't really heard this either. But she certainly didn't sound happy about it. Just another hurdle to add to the list.