Generation Cryo

StacyLH24

Just wondering if anyone tuned in for Generation Cryo on MTV?  Any thoughts for those who did? 

Jeveritt11

Still not sure how I feel about it. We used a KD, but myself and DP and him and his wife have all agreed we would make the decision together when to tell DD who our donor was.
If we had used a sperm bank i don't think I would want my child searching for the donor unless it was a medical necessity.

ATXmommas

Didn't catch it. Also interested to know to if anyone plans to see Delivery Man.

KH826

We were planning to DVR Generation Cryo, but I didn't realize it was on last night, so we missed it. I will try to DVR it when they replay it again (which I am sure will be soon considering it is MTV). I feel compelled to watch it out of curiousity, though I suspect I will totally hate it.

I think we are planning to see Delivery Man. Possibly this weekend. We are planning a trip to the movies with my in-laws while we are there this weekend, and we were looking for a comedy that most everyone would like. I am going to keep an open mind about it, and we shall see. I am sure my father-in-law will have some comical (and possibly offensive - in his own endearing way) commentary following the movie...

ATXmommas

@KH826 - if y'all end up seeing it, I would love to know what you think.

KH826

ATXmommas said:

@KH826 - if y'all end up seeing it, I would love to know what you think.

For sure!

wishiwaspreggo

I was curious so I read all the profiles of the adult kids looking for their donors.  It sounds like a lot of them come from situations where families broke apart, so that was probably a catalyst for wanting to find more connection.  I really believe if we raise our kids knowing they're loved and wanted, they won't feel the need to search for meaning beyond our own families.  At least, that's my hope.

Given how different personalities are, though, I guess you never know.  Some people are naturally neurotic and need answers.  I'm preparing for worst case scenario (our kid freaks out in his/her teens and NEEDS to meet his/her donor) by choosing a donor who will be okay with being contacted later on.  We're printing out all his information online as well as photos so our child will know where they came from.  Even if it's just for medical reasons, I think it's really important.

Also, think of it like this: back in the 80's and 90's when they were conceived, they didn't really give the folks using donor sperm any information beyond height, hair color, and eye color.  Nowadays we have all this information including personality assessments, photos, interviews, surveys, and a full medical profile.  If I were born from a man I didn't know, who my parents didn't know, and who I knew nothing about I think I would search for my donor, too.

I did DVR the show so C and I are planning to watch it soon!

healz413

We loved Delivery Man. It was charming and sweet and funny. And Vince Vaughn was surprisingly good in it.
It was not perfect or entirely unproblematic but it was very good in our opinion.
Now we are using an open id sperm bank donor so we have gone into this process open to the idea of our someday kids contacting/meeting their donor and potentially connecting with donor siblings. We were also charmed by Kate Reid's song Radical Donor Dad.

I can imagine that folks who really want anonymous sperm or egg donation and do not what their kids to want to connect with a donor would not like the movie and might find the same things we found sweet and charming to be scary and upsetting.

redrockmama

I had planned on watching generation cryo. We don't have cable so we'll have to see if we can watch it online. We chose a WTBK donor so that our kids could contact the donor if they want to. When we first started talking about having kids I felt somewhat threatened by this possibility, but don't at all now. When I was a teenager I didn't get along with either of my parents and would have been thrilled if I knew I had a donor and had the opportunity to connect with them. Basically, we plan to be very open with our kids and love them to pieces. If they want to meet the donor for whatever reason, we will support them 100%. 

I am curious to see the show though. I have a friend who is in his late twenties and was conceived with anonymous donor sperm back in the day. He has two amazing moms and while he has been curious about the donor, but doesn't want to find him. It just varies so much from person to person I think. 

StacyLH24

After watching last night, I felt more at peace with C and I choosing to use an open ID donor.  We went back and forth so many times on whether or not to use a KD, anonymous or open ID.  For a while, we were set on anonymous.  I tried to imagine how our future kids might feel as they got older.  Finally, we settled on using an open ID donor.  We want them to have the option of finding their donor.  We don't want to make that choice for them before they even exist. 

That being said, I can 100% understand why others may not agree and may be settled on anonymous donors.  It wasn't an easy choice for us to make. 

Jazibel

Darn - this is one of those times I wish I had Cable   I'll probably try to find a way to watch it via Netflix or Hulu when it makes it there.  We were using a WTBK donor from a sperm bank while TTC before we moved to our KD.  Using a KD we both liked the idea that Kaden (and now Owen) would be able to have some occasional contact with their Donor.  We feel very lucky, as our Donor is the perfect amount of hands on/hands off.  At least right now. We realize having a known donor can complicate things. Furthermore we shared our donor with our friends who are now pregnant with a 1/2 sibling of Kaden (and Owen's)  due about 4 weeks after Owen.  It's a crazy lesbian story - maybe we can have our own show one day ;-) 

I'm adopted as is my brother (we're not blood related).  A few times in my 20's I started the process of finding my birth-mother but never went through with it. I'm very happy with my family. No they're not perfect. And actually we're very dissimilar in how we approach life (from a personality perspective).  But I love them, and honor my parents as what they are - my parents. I don't really want to open the door to a "surprise" family member.  I think that's why we liked the WTBK donors - there was so much information about them, photos, detailed profiles, etc. In fact we probably had more "info" on our "spermbank donor" than our friend and KD - lol.  It's a new and different way of creating families - I'm curious to see how its portrayed in this show.

 

firstcomeslove2013

C and I just watched it and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would...it sucked me in!

StacyLH24

This might bring up a whole different topic, but is there any other lingo that could be used besides bio and non-bio?  I was thinking this while watching the show on Monday.  I know that non-bio simply means there is no biological relationship, but I really hate the term.  I don't ever want to use non-bio in relation to C and any children we might have.  To me, it feels like I'm saying she isn't anything to them, when she is everything just as much as I would be.  That was just something that really hit a nerve with me during the show.  Does anyone else think this way about the term non-bio, or is it just me? 

ATXmommas

I've got to watch now!  And figure out what channel MTV is so I can start DVR-ing!

redrockmama

We watched it last night and it was better than I thought. I also mentioned to J while we were watching it that I did not want to use bio and non-bio. Honestly I don't really see a need to use any term. I will be mommy/mom and J will be mama/ma. The kids will know which one of us carried them, but anyone outside of our family really doesn't need to know anything about bio, gestational, etc. at least that's what I think this moment. I look forward to future episodes. Does anyone know if it is just this group of kids? Or kids from other donors too? My friend and her wife are calling their daughters donor siblings, diblings, kinda cute. 

StacyLH24

I think the show is just about this group of kids.

doodah1013

I thought it was very interesting but it did bring up a lot of questions and dialogue between A and myself. I felt most compassion for the man who couldn't biologically create his own children... Because he feels like he has so much to lose.
I don't know why... But A and I hve never been too concerned with who is and who isn't biologically related to our children. Sure it is frustrating that we can't produce our own sperm, because it's so freaking expensive, but otherwise to me, that seems like such a small ingredient in the grand scheme of things.
I also hate identifiers that are measured by not what they are, but what they are not ex. NON-Bio parent. You aren't saying what that is, you are saying what it isn't. (That would be like saying there are only white people and non-white people... Which totally negates the richness and importance of anything that isn't white.) All the things this person is sooo much more important, than being non biologically related to the child... All the hours of diaper changing, and story reading and tear wiping gets diminished to whether or not you share DNA with the child. Which is a small ingredient when you take it to account all the other parts of a recipe!
We will not be using those terms. We prefer to use the terms the "baby holder" and "the baby holder supporter" until the baby is born. A always jokes that it's probably good I get to carry the baby for 9 months... Because once it is born it will be 9 months before I get to hold it again!

It really was a good start to a show that will prove to challenge what I think I know...!

Greysmom13

I watched it last night and I think it was good! I like how it is going to cover different kids who grew up in different situations and how they feel about being conceived via donor. I'm very glad OP posted so I could get my DVR all set!

ATXmommas

Z and I managed to watch the first episode. I liked it and will continue watching. That said, the title of the show still makes me cringe. It implies that being created from donor sperm is the defining characteristic of the children. If anyone referred to my child that way - as a Cryo kid, I would be livid.

firstcomeslove2013

I agree @atxmommas...I don't think I would like that either. Another thing I struggled with as the language used to describe the relationships between the kids and the parents. At one point the main girl referred to the other kids' parents as "mom and dad". I don't know how I feel about that as well as the term "donor siblings". I know some people use this term and have a known donor who also has provided children with couples they know. I think I would have a sad time dealing with the aspect of them looking at the other kids and family as parents/sibling when they will be a part of our family. I am struggling with this because I feel like I want to be open and inclusive but those terms just struck a nerve with me.

wishiwaspreggo

bromios said:

StacyLH24 said:

This might bring up a whole different topic, but is there any other lingo that could be used besides bio and non-bio?  I was thinking this while watching the show on Monday.  I know that non-bio simply means there is no biological relationship, but I really hate the term.  I don't ever want to use non-bio in relation to C and any children we might have.  To me, it feels like I'm saying she isn't anything to them, when she is everything just as much as I would be.  That was just something that really hit a nerve with me during the show.  Does anyone else think this way about the term non-bio, or is it just me? 

When people ask whose they are we always say, "Ours." And usually they stop there, but if they ask which of us is the bio mom, I say, "I carried them." I AM the bio mom, but I feel like this response leaves that issue still tactfully deflected. If it's a friend or someone like that we don't mind getting into the details, but for strangers that usually sends up a big, "None of your business" flag! In our situation it really doesn't matter too much - both our names are on the birth certificates, DW has full parental rights. Even at the doctors when they ask, "Who's mom?" we say, "We are" and they leave it at that. 

Those are great responses.  I'm borrowing them for when I have my own children! 

StacyLH24

C and I just finished the second episode. I had a much stronger reaction to this one. I have been trying to keep an open mind. I'm not sure I care for Bree after this one. I feel like she is being pushy with the other siblings.

To some degree, C and I agree with...Julian...I can't remember if that was his name or not. Anyway, the single child that met up with Bree and Jesse for breakfast.

I had tears in my eyes when Jesse was golfing with his Dad. What a great exchange. I sometimes worry about C and her family not having a biological connection to our kids. Her family is super accepting and inclusive, so I know it is just in my head. If anyone ever commented negatively about our kids not having a biological connection to her and her family...I would not react well to say the least.