Lessons in self-soothing

OntheWater

Hello all! I have not posted much on this wall yet...I have 2 DDs. DD1 is 4, DD2 is 3.5 months. DD2's sleep preference during the day is the Beco carrier. She's not good anywhere else...which is fine but I need her to start practicing sleeping in other spots and also would like to start transitioning her into her crib at night. (Side note- she's sleeps great on her own at night in her rock n play, just can't seem to during the day). I don't mind her sleeping in the carrier but now and then I need to give DD1 some one on one time (including her own snuggling time!) and also, I'm going back to work in 2.5 months. She'll have enough adjustments to make then, I don't want her to have to start adjusting to a new nap spot too!
I have a solid 4 days next weekend where DD1 will be kept busy by my husband and grandparents so I'd like to take advantage of working on napping without DD1 being pushed aside all day! I'm not looking for CIO techniques- just soothing techniques to help her adjust. Typically if I Rock her to sleep and put her down, within 10 minutes, she starts crying. A couple times I have been successful helping her go back to sleep by just putting my hand on her chest, slightly weighted, and shushing, so long as I stay in a spot where she can't make eye contact with me- otherwise it turns into a game for her! (i think this is part of the ferber method?) More often than not though, I end up rocking her back to sleep only to have her wake up as soon as I put her down.
What have been some of your more successful, non-CIO techniques for helping LO adjust to sleeping on their own and self- soothing?
TIA!
Edit- I do swaddle and just ordered the Merlin's sleepsuit.

Rushmore

I only have the one LO, but I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, right down to the Beco Carrier.

Recently I've been attempting to get LO on some sort of nap schedule/routine. I'm hoping to make some strong sleep associations that way and be able to wean my LO from being rocked when the time comes (hopefully soon!).  But I kind of feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark and not sure if what I'm doing will really pay off.

I haven't invested in the Merlin sleep suit though because my LO is nearly at the weight limit for the largest suit

taraleanne

Agreed with previous posters. Naps are SO hard, even if bedtime is good. White noise, black out shades, putting baby down for nap BEFORE she gets overtired. Have a nap routine/wind-down for every nap. We read a story before every nap and have a cuddle. 

I'd also keep doing this: 

Typically if I Rock her to sleep and put her down, within 10 minutes, she starts crying. A couple times I have been successful helping her go back to sleep by just putting my hand on her chest, slightly weighted, and shushing, so long as I stay in a spot where she can't make eye contact with me...

keep trying this, pick up and put down, rock and soothe, hush etc... this works for my LO most of the time but I have to be consistent and persistent and patient.  good luck!

LittleNugget93

I agree with all these PP's. I'd also like to add hand holding. I will hold my DD's hand until I feel her relax and then I'll gently pull away. If it wakes her, I move to lightly rubbing her hand so she doesn't have a grip that I need to pull out of.

luvmygirlss

Did she recently start sleeping longer stretches. Usually naps go down the drain when overnight sleep increases. Sometimes the naps improve and sometimes not and you will have to intervene. Either way, what's happening is very normal

Videogamegirl86

My son is 3 months old, and if he starts crying after I put him down, I let him cry for 15 minutes, then go soothe him back to down. I have been doing this since he was about 6 weeks old, and he usually goes to sleep within about 5 minutes of putting him down (usually fussing for about 2 minutes or so). I also make sure to put him down drowsy but awake, which is great because he has learned to put himself to sleep (most of the time).

taraleanne

Videogamegirl86 said:

My son is 3 months old, and if he starts crying after I put him down, I let him cry for 15 minutes, then go soothe him back to down. I have been doing this since he was about 6 weeks old, and he usually goes to sleep within about 5 minutes of putting him down (usually fussing for about 2 minutes or so). I also make sure to put him down drowsy but awake, which is great because he has learned to put himself to sleep (most of the time).

You let a 6 week old cry for 15 minutes? 

jessahastings

My 5.5 mo still needs a lot of help getting to sleep too. Sometimes less than others but routine, same songs, etc helps them begin to form sleep associations. It seems too young for a baby to self soothe, they are still so young!! I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and from others to get our babies to sleep by themselves, on their own and for 10 hrs at a time and it just isn't realistic!!

I agree with taraleanne also, 15 minutes is a really long time!!! I would ask you if your significant other or another loved one was crying and had no other way to express their discomfort, would you leave them for 15 mins?? I certainly wouldn't, let alone someone who is completely dependent on me.

taraleanne

jessahastings said:

My 5.5 mo still needs a lot of help getting to sleep too. Sometimes less than others but routine, same songs, etc helps them begin to form sleep associations. It seems too young for a baby to self soothe, they are still so young!! I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and from others to get our babies to sleep by themselves, on their own and for 10 hrs at a time and it just isn't realistic!! I agree with taraleanne also, 15 minutes is a really long time!!! I would ask you if your significant other or another loved one was crying and had no other way to express their discomfort, would you leave them for 15 mins?? I certainly wouldn't, let alone someone who is completely dependent on me.

I won't let my nearly 6m old cry for 15 minutes, nevermind a 6 week old. They have a need, they only know how to express with crying!!  My baby started falling to sleep on his own without crying around 3m, so you don't have to let them CIO and certainly not at 6 weeks old! I'm sorry but I feel like that's neglect. Baby is WAY too young for that.  

Jessa is right, we put way too much pressure on ourselves to have baby act a certain way when they are still so young!!  Alot of this crap needs to wait until they are older and then let it fall into place naturally. 

VVT3111

My daughter is 3 months old and her nap times are awesome. She always naps around 12 of course and I'll feed her and lay her down and she'll still be awake but i wrap her up in a blanket and then put another blanket or throw blanket on her or a pillow to put a little weight on her and i've noticed that she gets cozy and comfy and knocks out to that. My mother in law told me about that and it works. Or a little wash or bath before a nap is relaxing. I run her body with some water and she loves it. i feed her til she's full of course.