I've been on the boards here for over a year and have never really given my story. Hopefully some of you having difficulty can learn a little something. : )
I am almost 43 and have an 8 month old DD. I was with the sperm donor when we were teens, got engaged, wizened up, and dumped him. Lesson #1: Don't go backwards!
About 4 years ago I moved back to my home state after living in SoCal and Orlando for 18ish years. Got together with the SD and we were soon back together. This is a person I stupidly thought of as my soul mate. First love, blah blah blah. He is an alcoholic and comes from a long line of alcoholics. Lesson #2: Substance abuse is a bad bad thing and you should run far far away from it. I also think he's a sociopath and now see he may also be cognitively impaired. Anyway, 2 1/2 years later I am prego with DD. This was a high risk pregnancy (I'm old, diabetic and have a thyroid disorder) and I got pre-e around 35 weeks and was put on bed rest the last two weeks of the pregnancy. I tried to break from the SD when I was pregnant and he stalked me, showed up at my OB's office 3 sheets to the wind, turfed my yard twice and ran over my mailbox, stole from me several times (including DD's crib and car seat/stroller from the porch after FedEx delivered them), broke into my garage, called/texted about a zillion times a day, threatened to punch a cop in the face when he called and told the SD to leave me alone, physically blocked my Jeep with his truck so I couldn't "get away," and on and on and on. He's now on probation for 2 years for most of this stuff. He should have been in prison but I got soft. Big mistake. Oh, and this is a baby HE SAYS HE WANTED. I've let him live with me a total of about 2 months since she was born (I blame the hormones!) and he spent as little time with her as possible. Lesson #3: DON'T CAVE!! He's never changed a shitty diaper, never fed her baby food, bathed her, got up in the middle of the night with her, etc. etc. He recently told me that was my job. I do everything myself now, who needs him around taking up space? Lesson #4: The stress and BS just isn't worth it. Especially when your physical safety is in jeopardy.
So, now I'm trying again to break from him and his family of psychos and believe I'll be successful this time (go me!). His child support hearing notice is in the mail, there is an eviction notice on my door, and I've contacted his probation officer for a no contact order from the judge. Next step will be to make sure he is never allowed any type of custody or unsupervised visitation.
Now here's my vent. I just ran out on my lunch to get DD some diapers and new PJs and saw his enabling mommy in the parking lot at the store. She tried to talk to me and started off with how mean and hateful I am and I just cut her off and told her not to expect me to be nice when you come to my home and start shit with me in front of my daughter. I got in my car, locked the doors, and started driving away when she walked in the middle of the lane (in front of me) and started shaking her ass and waving her arms like she was dancing. I cut over into the other lane and just drove away. Yeah, that was hard. But seriously? This woman is almost 70 years old for God's sake! That's a special kind of crazy if you ask me. I wish with everything I have that my daughter didn't inherit much from his idiot genes.