Time out

jgallegos0316

Ok ppl. I feel that I am a fairly smart person with common sense, but my son is almost two and I am feeling that I need to start time out with him. I. Have heard that one minute for the year age is appropriate. Wen his minute is up he is not wanting to say he is sorry. Should I just keep him there and do it over and over til he says he is sorry? He will get more mad be he can't get out of time out and then starts hitting more. It seems like a vicious cycle. Is he just too young to understand timeout. If so what else do I do when he won't say sorry for hitting?

AppleGrapeMSTK

My belief in time out is that it interrupts unwanted behavior. It is not necessarily for punishment. 

If DS hits the cat, I put him in time out.  He stops hitting the cat, and gives the cat a chance to run away.  DS is also nearly 2, and he is not capable of showing the remorse for his actions that his older sister is.  I would not force an apology out of him.  Every time I sit DS out, I remind him what the trouble is and what the right thing to do is before letting him go. "You hit the cat. We do not hit the cat.  We love the cat." Or whatever it was he did.

ashiscute

My DD is almost 3 and I still don't force sorry even after a timeout.  I just reiterate why she was in timeout and give hugs.  Sometimes I suggest apologizing and she does but I don't make her.  At that age it seems impossible to force.  

skibunny59

AppleGrapeMSTK said:

My belief in time out is that it interrupts unwanted behavior. It is not necessarily for punishment. 

If DS hits the cat, I put him in time out.  He stops hitting the cat, and gives the cat a chance to run away.  DS is also nearly 2, and he is not capable of showing the remorse for his actions that his older sister is.  I would not force an apology out of him.  Every time I sit DS out, I remind him what the trouble is and what the right thing to do is before letting him go. "You hit the cat. We do not hit the cat.  We love the cat." Or whatever it was he did.

I agree with all of this.  I think at 2 they are WAY too young to understand apology.

janinekrause

I wanted my little one to understand that she needed to apologize when she did something wrong. same as asking please and saying thank you. She does all of them and will be two in a few weeks.

With time outs, she was very stubborn. Our deal was she needed to say she was sorry and give a hug after. It did sometimes take a while and repeated going back to sit on the couch but she learned. 

I would say that my almost 2 year old totally knows when she is doing something wrong vs. right. She may not understand remorse but understands appropriate responses for any actions. 

aboynamedbarry

It may be too that he is still getting used to the idea. I have actually left my DD in time out a second time if when I go to get her she hits again or whatever. Just keep at it and be consistent. 2 is definitely old enough for time out, but I agree getting an actual apology may be hard. However I would still encourage it and ask for a hug or something. Kids learn what we are teaching... if we don't teach them they won't know to do it. So it stands to reason that with repetition and consistency they will improve over time

jgallegos0316

Thanks ladies!!!!