With child, but without SO?

easilyunamused

My DH may be gone about 6 months next year for a seasonal job. We were planning on TTC in the spring/summer. If he gets the job though, he will be gone until the fall.

I know we could wait until he got back, but I've been pretty anxious to get the ball rolling.

Have any of you ladies been pregnant but not have your SO with you for most of the pregnancy?

SmileyJay

I agree, Military families board would be helpful to connect with others in this position.

For me, I wouldn't consider a pregnancy if my husband was going to be gone for long periods of time but I do not have family close by. If you have a strong family support network and feel it is the right time, I think it could work out fine. If he is planning to have a career that keeps him away for months at a time, I guess it is something you and your future kids will adjust to. If this is a one time thing I would probably wait until he gets back. I know some military families that are very happy so it can work out! You just need a support system of some sort at home to make it work out well.

easilyunamused

fredalina said:

You might want to lurk (not post) the Military Families board as I'm sure some of those couples deal with that regularly.

Yea, when I was writing the post I had thought about Military families. I don't think any of my friends/family that are in the military had been in that situation. 

Thanks! I am a great lurker  

magdalina.h

I wouldn't have been able to, but I was a high risk pregnancy

rjeller32

Both of my pregnancies DH was away. First, I was 18, and he was in college 9 hours away. It was tough, but I got along just fine. Except for having to call him and just hope LO decided to stay in long enough for him to make it down.

Second, he was working in ND, and I was a SAHM with my 18 month old. We found out in June, he left for work a week later and came back 15 days before we had her.

That pregnancy was much harder because of a toddler, being in a house with yard work instead of an apt like the first time around, and it was just physically a much more exhausting pregnancy.

He wants another baby, I told him as soon as I get the guarantee that I won't have to deal with pregnancy alone again. It's not impossible, but it definitely was lonely.

easilyunamused

rjeller32 said:

Both of my pregnancies DH was away. First, I was 18, and he was in college 9 hours away. It was tough, but I got along just fine. Except for having to call him and just hope LO decided to stay in long enough for him to make it down.

Second, he was working in ND, and I was a SAHM with my 18 month old. We found out in June, he left for work a week later and came back 15 days before we had her.

That pregnancy was much harder because of a toddler, being in a house with yard work instead of an apt like the first time around, and it was just physically a much more exhausting pregnancy.

He wants another baby, I told him as soon as I get the guarantee that I won't have to deal with pregnancy alone again. It's not impossible, but it definitely was lonely.

I think the loneliness would be the hardest. Well even if I'm not pregnant, it'll be lonely. I guess it's doable, but not ideal.

Thanks for sharing:)

easilyunamused

GhostMonkey said:

We had planned to. DH left for a deployment when I was in 1st tri, but he ended up getting cut from the deployment. 

If you have family and friends nearby, have them help with little stuff, but unless you end up high risk, there's not a whole lot you would need them for. 

I wouldn't be really close to either of our families. Mine would be in another state, his would be just a couple hour drive. I guess you won't know if your high risk till your KU?

Mysterious_wife

GhostMonkey said:

If you had pre-existing conditions that would make you high risk, you would know by now unless you haven't been to a doctor ever. Those that develop during pregnancy, no, you won't know until it happens.

Not always. I wasn't diagnosed with a congenital heart defect until 2009. I have been to a doctor all of my life. I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder in 2010.

Either way, don't borrow trouble. You won't know if there will be any issues until pg. we had a regular poster who had a high risk twin pg and she was on bed rest. Her H was deployed. It can be done.