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Pregnant after 35
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Feeling like a failure

NatdubsNatdubs member
in Pregnant after 35
My 16 year old son is going to live with his father after living me his whole life. So sad:(
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Mom to a 16 year old boy too!! 
Me: 36-PCOS DH: 34 All good. TTC #3 since 2/12. IUI's 1st BFN, 2nd  BFP: 9/22/12...M/C 11/6 10wks 1day.....3 more rounds of IUI Feb-April '13 all BFN.
Started taking Femaprin & Milk Thistle Aug '13, then added Metformin Sept '13......Surprise BFP 10/26/13!!!! The first time in 10 years that we got a BFP without infertility treatments!



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Re: Feeling like a failure

  • kelley72kelley72 member

    OH, been there done that.  Two years ago my (at the time) 14 and 12year old boys went to their dad's.  My oldest son is still with him, but my 2nd ds came back this year. 

    It is a very normal occurance from my experience/ talking with other divorced moms.  Boys need their fathers and as they go through puberty it can be helpful.  I obviously do not know your exact circumstances and I do completely understand your feelings.  I was a little heartbroken, not so much that my oldest son chose to spend time living with his father but bc I wouldn't get to see him on a daily basis.  I was more upset with the decision of my 12 yr old at the time, but didn't want to pursue court/argument, etc.

    I hope your son does well at his father's and I hope you allow yourself a moment to grieve the change and then embrace your new experience.

     

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  • LucyRicardo3LucyRicardo3 member
    oh, I'm so sorry.
    My DH has adopted my oldest from my first marriage a few years back. Let's just say  the x is a textbook deadbeat. Hopefully your situation is completely different and better.
    My son and I have a very close relationship and he and DH are like peas in a pod
    .
    I hope that this change comes out ok for your family. You may want to look into some brief counseling to heal from the hurt...HUGS


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  • NatdubsNatdubs member
    DS has Asperger's (a high functioning form of autism) and has ALWAYS been just like his dad behavior-wise. I just can't connect with him anymore and he has 0 connection to his sister. Hopefully his dad/stepmom can do better with him than I can. The biggest positives in all of this are that his grades are awesome and he is in no way a troublemaker. 
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    Mom to a 16 year old boy too!! 
    Me: 36-PCOS DH: 34 All good. TTC #3 since 2/12. IUI's 1st BFN, 2nd  BFP: 9/22/12...M/C 11/6 10wks 1day.....3 more rounds of IUI Feb-April '13 all BFN.
    Started taking Femaprin & Milk Thistle Aug '13, then added Metformin Sept '13......Surprise BFP 10/26/13!!!! The first time in 10 years that we got a BFP without infertility treatments!



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  • DTNZ4EverDTNZ4Ever member
    That must be so hard. Hopefully this will help make your relationship stronger.
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  • ClaireHuxtableClaireHuxtable member
    While this must be hard, know that he's still "there".  He may grow closer to his sister and your relationship stronger for the change.  Don't look at this as a bad thing, but an opportunity to help your son.  Good news about his grades!  ((hugs)) - It'll be okay.
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    Don't worry, I'm working on it. 





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