Yet another dilemma...

tai1414

So, I have finally got a lawyer & was planning on getting a parenting plan in motion for supervised visits. After I told her everything, she strongly advised that my son & I get an order of protection... My ex and baby's father was abusive to me (pushing, throwing things at me, yelling, cursing in front of baby, etc.) and is an alcoholic. She feels it is necessary in order to move forward, but I am back and forth with the whole idea. I want to protect my son no question about it... but, I can't help feel bad about it? It's his son too, and we live in another state so he only sees him when we visit his state (I have some family there as well). He doesn't pay child support or try to visit us here, so that makes me feel like he doesn't really care anyway. However, whenever he gets angry with me he will threaten to take me to court and take away my son. I don't know, after all he has done to us I still feel kind of wrong basically telling him he can't see his son or contact me about him. What do you think?

20thirteen

lurchbaby said:

Get the order of protection. And don't feel bad about protecting your son and yourself against an abusive alcoholic.

This.

That guy is trying to long-distance manipulate you and you have to think about the safety of your son.  I assume that's why you want supervised visits, to keep your son safe?  The order of protection will keep you BOTH safe. It is better to get it before something bad happens, before he does anything that would hurt either you or your son.

tig594

Get the PPO!  I recently went through the exact same thing you are going through except the SD is not in another state.  I got the PPO then felt all bad about it and that he couldn't see DD and totally bowed down and dropped almost everything.  Boy am I sorry about that now.  We're going through it again (NO MORE!!!) and now I pretty much have to start all over.  It's unlikely your kid's daddy will change and you don't need the added hassle and stress of dealing with him.