My poor sweetie.

lite-bright

She came home yesterday and, in the course of talking about her day, told me that her friend Brodie bit her while pretending to be a velociraptor at recess (they play dinosaurs and dragons a lot). There was no mark, but she was pretty matter-of-fact that it was a real bite and not pretend. But she also said that she didn't say anything to him about it, when I suggested a couple of things she could say, like "friends don't bite friends," "that hurt, let's only do pretend bites" she responded that she didn't think Brodie would go along with that. 

I tried role-playing with her this morning on the way to school and it just made her upset, to the point that she said she just wouldn't play dinosaurs any more. She would barely say anything above a whisper. Clearly, she doesn't want to rock the boat with a friend that she really likes -- meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Oh, God, this kind of thing could make her a bully-magnet someday." 

We got to school early and I talked with her teacher about it, who promptly called over DD1 (who immediately got choked up and teary-eyed just being talked to about it) and reminded her not just about talking to the person who was doing something she doesn't like, but telling her teacher as well and that she'll step in when needed. I was trying to encourage her to deal with it herself, but I think she's just not quite there and needs some extra support & someone looking out for her to help. I hope hearing from someone else maybe made it sink in more. She bounced back and was fine when I left. 

She is so sensitive and vulnerable in some ways, and so oblivious in others -- and I never know which way she's going to react to something. I also keep flashing back to being that kid who cried practically every time I got upset in school. I can't help but feel like we're so much alike. I know how much my parents struggled in trying to make me be more resilient, but I was such an anxious kid that I think it was really beyond them, certainly beyond just telling me to relax. I hope that coming out of that experience helps me help DD1 more. I have a call in to the school psych to get this on her radar, since she works on social skills with DD1 in a small group. 

MirandaHobbes

Awww. Poor thing. It sounds like you're doing everything right though! I'm sure now that it's on everyone's radar that she will learn from the experience. Maybe that's the difference between boys and girls- my son will be a bully magnet to the other extreme- yesterday he came home with some pennies in his pocket. He said the big kids were paying him in pennies to leave them alone. Instead of being sad, he was thrilled to have come home with some jangle in his pocket. I told him next time to insist on a quarter. Since this happened at his afterschool program, I can only hope the director and "teachers" will keep an eye on him after I alerted them.

bumpuser511563

Aww. Hugs.

You did the right thing by informing the teacher with your concerns.

I have flash backs of being afraid of the dark because DS is going through that right now.

And even having flash backs of our own experiences will help us be better moms to better understand our kids.

realisticdreams

awww.  I'm so overly emotional, even as an adult.  I hate it, I have barely any control over my crying and sometimes it's so random (like when i'm mad), or just feeling sensitive.  I remember crying in school and it sucks.
I think you did the right thing, you tried to help her through it but if she still needs the teacher, that's OK too.  Atleast she told you about it.  Good job momma.

lite-bright

realisticdreams said:

awww.  I'm so overly emotional, even as an adult.  I hate it, I have barely any control over my crying and sometimes it's so random (like when i'm mad), or just feeling sensitive.  I remember crying in school and it sucks.

Yup, this is me, too. It's gotten better as I've gotten older, but it was really hard as a kid.