Teaching Contact Info in BFs

alb2411

For safety reasons and to engage SS5 with learning on a more personal level, DH and I have been teaching him our address, phone numbers and other things like close family member birthdays and how to spell all of our names. Yesterday, it was part of his homework to memorize his phone number and it suddenly dawned on me that because of our BF situation, SS actually has two important sets of this type of information he should be learning at this age. It just never occurred to us to teach him BM’s info, and though we would never deny if he did ask, he has never asked us about it. Should we be teaching him BM’s important information like this since he is with us for school, or is it her responsibility to take the time to teach him these things when she has the opportunity?

nevertune

What I did for my son when he had to learn his "home" phone number was to just teach him mine. I told him that even if, say, he got lost in a store with his dad, he could have an employee call MY number and I'd call his dad. I didn't want to confuse him with more numbers. If you think it wouldn't confuse him, go ahead and teach him her number too. Can't hurt. My ex is teaching him his own phone number now that our son is a year and a half older. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't go further than teaching him her phone number. She can teach him all the other stuff or he can ask her to if he wants to know.

fellesferie

Safety is about the child. So I think if he spends a significant portion of his time with BM, then teaching her info is smart. If he sees her EOWE or less, then I would probably not worry about it. 

DS (8) knows our address and my phone number. I don't want to throw too many more things at him to memorize. 

hopanka

Its important to know one number without mistakes, not a whole bunch of numbers and mess them up. Also, it depends on the age, but for very small children i would say one number correctly.

CFjo2010

K knows my number, DH's number and BM's number.  She's in 2nd grade, but she's known the numbers for the past year or so.  She's with us about 40% of the time, so I think it's important for her to know all the numbers.

mom2one

I'm pretty sure DS does not know his father's address. He does know his phone number. Honestly, he's there 4 days a month and has no reason to know it, so I'm not sure it's worth bothering.

SimpleJane

DS came home the other day and had written down our info for a class assignment, he put my house number, his dad's street, and my town

alb2411

I really appreciate all the responses. I was waaaay overthinking everything, so I'm glad to have perspective from people who have already crossed this bridge!

Nineoceans

Since it's just for safety we have only taught him ours. We taught him bm's but she changes her phone number every three months pretty much on the dot so he knows ours and that's good enough

MommyEllenSue

SS and SD know my husbands phone and our address but have absolutely no idea what BM's is. SS has been asking why mine is and I have been starting to work on it with him but it would still totally confuse SD to learn more than one.

+just+j+

I am teaching DD my last name (which I changed back to my maiden name), her dad's full name, and his girlfriends full name. She is three. We will work on XH and my number and her primary address next. I won't teach her XHs because he doesn't stay in one place for very long.

Wahoo

I think the most important thing to learn is the contact info.  Name spelling, birthdays - - not so important at 5. 

Littlejen22

He needs to know the phone number of the person he lives with the most. If it is 50/50 then it is ok to teach yours but if he spends more time at his Moms then it is irresponsible to teach yours first especially if you live farther.