Help- she will not stop talking (repost from BMB edited for clarity)

Five Months to Plan

We started DD in a dance class in September. She will be 3 this December. She seemed ready and the dance teacher meet us and agreed. She was doing great. There are 4 little girls. ( I think who are all 3 already.) At the end of October we got to observe the class. She did not listen , stop talking, or do what the teacher asked until she was asked a couple times. ( this is not like her bahavior at home at all.) The teacher assured us that she is not normally like that. We spoke with DD about it. The last two weeks I have taken her and she has also not stopped talking during class. ( the other little girls do not seem to talk at all even when they are their their parents waiting for class to start. DD has not problem talking to anyone ever!) the teacher asked me if we had said something to her. We had talked about it after that class and we how we wanted her to behave. The next two weeks we did talk about listening and doing what the teacher asked. The last week we probably talked for just a minute or two on the way to class. We were not reminding her or it all the time or anything. Well, DH just called and this is her 3rd week since we observed. She did not get a sticker this week at the end of class because she was not a good listener again. I do not know what to do. We tried talking to her about it and then this week I tried not talking to her about it, but just being positive and encouraging. She loves loves this class. She is learning so much, but I do not know how to help her. She loves it and I am afaid they are going to ask her to leave. I think part of the problem might be this is her only interaction with kids all week. She is home with either DH or grandparents all day. All the preschools around here would not take her till 3 and all but one (which we did not like) run Septepmber to June so putting her in January is not a option. Money is tight right now so maybe we need to sign her up for another class and we can swing it if needed but it would be tight but doable. What to do? I do not want to bribe her but, should we do something like if she does well she gets something? I am at a loss.

Five Months to Plan

cmeon_the_water said:

Honestly, it just sounds like she isn't ready for what the teacher and her parents are expecting of her. There are some huge changes between almost 3yos and 3.5+, and 3 is the absolute youngest I've seen a dance studio take a child.

Your should see what your library offers- we have all sorts of programs for kids who aren't in school yet, storytime, fun dance/movement, crafts- great freebies. Our zoo also does a free toddler/preschooler storytime this time of year.

Oh, and I'm absolutely not above bribery, when it matters. I'm just not sure it matters if she's just plain not ready yet.

That totally crossed our minds. She had a good first month so the teacher felt really good about her staying. She was in swimming, art class, and library classes. She though aged out of the library classes. They only now have story time for 3-5 year olds ( since she was turning 3 during the next session she was not allowed to sign up again for the previous class type. We did those though from last year till just a few weeks ago. She is also not able to start the pre school story time till after she turns 3.) The art class was the same night as dance, and for the swim classes we were encouraged to not start again till after she was 3 because the class that was from 18-36 months was all younger kids and they felt she had aged out. We were looking for something else for her since she hads aged out of 2 of the three. We were looking for something because we felt we were just stuck in an in between age. We knew going in that she might not be fully ready but after the first month she was doing well according to the teacher so they measured her for a recital costume which we have paid for already. We were ready to pull her out if she was not ready, but everyone thought it was going ok.

Five Months to Plan

cmeon_the_water said:

Does she know you're watching- are you physically in the room? There's really no harm trying a bribe- or a sticker chart with a big reward at the end?

That's frustrating to be stuck in between so many things. Is the weather nice enough to get out and hit the playgrounds? Is there a dads meet-up thing locally?

We are no permitted to be in the room. We are in the waiting room. It is too cold right now to go outside for a long time. Although every day it is warm enough we do get her outside but we are in northern ohio. There are very few moms groups around here. I do not know any other stay at home dads. I will look though. DH is even comfortable with a moms group if they are ok with him.

Five Months to Plan

Thanks! I will look into who is accepting. My work has a preschool, but they are not accepting till august and though that would be ideal if we need to adjust we will. At the moment the dance teacher seems to be working with her. Since she was good for the first 5 weeks, and they knew she was young like you said they are working with her. They have a week break at thanksgiving and then three weeks at Christmas. So we only have maybe 2 classes till the first of the year. I do not want to be those parents but we might talk with the dance teacher and see what she suggests. There are only four little girls plus the teacher ( who is an adult) and an assistnant. So at the moment I think they have the hands to work with her, but I also acknowledge it is not fair for her to take all energy and attention. Like you said she ages into a lot in just a couple weeks. She will be starting library stroytime again and we are debating on the swim lesson ( not really the lessons but the location of where to do them.)

meg1974

Could your DH or her other caregivers join some sort of play group in the area so she can have interaction with other kids?