- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
May 2014 Moms
momthatlifts
member
Huge rant and vent about mil. Please feel free to share thoughts
momthatlifts
member
This will be extremely long but I need to get it out. I don't have any friends since I got pregnant. I'm pretty much alone so you all are who I can talk to. As of right now me, dh, and mil are all sharing the same living situation. Dh is in the process of getting back in to active duty with the army but the recruiter he is dealing with is extremely shitty! It's moving sooooo slow. So until then he is working, I am not and money is tight. We are sharing a car or I would get my own job.
Now, Dhs mom is a DRUNK. I have lived with her for 7 months now and I have realized how toxic alcoholics can be. My life has been nothing BUT stressful. To be honest I am surprised I was ever able to get pregnant and make it in to the second trimester. Even the littlest things she does bothers me now. I woke up this morning and lately my blood sugar has been dropping rapidly almost immediately. So me and dh bought some little chef "b" microwavable dinner things that are quick, small and easy to eat and get my day started. Well I am running to the kitchen shaking and go to grab one and to my not so surprise, they are all gone. All I know is that she probably got drunk and stumbled out in the middle of the night like she always does and grabbed the first thing to crave her appetite. This would'nt be so bad if she actually provided food. Nope. She just buys her milk, egg whites, and cup noodles and chips when they are on bogo. Oh yeah and liqour. 90% of all the food in this house is FOR and BOUGHT by my husband for US. Now if we cook a big dinner she is always welcome to a plate. But I kid you not I will come in the next day for left overs and POOF the food has disappeared! I have even caught her eating right out of the pan, does'nt even bother to put it in a bowl or plate. She ALWAYS tells me how I should be cooking something. WHY DON'T YOU BUY THE FOOD AND COOK IT THEN?!??!!? And on her drunker nights she will literally go over and mess with the heat I have it set on. I finally snapped at her and told her " Don't touch the heat I have it set on that for a reason!" She also does the infamous "Can I have this? I'll replace it." And NEVER does. I want to make a list of all her IOUs and glue it to the fridge.
Then, she is always bitching about how broke she is but she get a 600 dollar check every month for Alimony on top of her 10/hour paycheck + commission every two weeks. I'm pretty sure as of right now she is doing a lot better than us. Oh and she has no mortgage either. He ex husband pays that too. So she buys herself a MK purse and brand new galaxy s4 all in the same day. Proceeds to text my husband how she just spent all her watch money (she sold a watch her ex husband gave her) on the phone and that now she needs money for the toll!!!!!!!!!! She got her hair done this same week but cant take her dying dog to the vet but then proceeds to ask us if we can spare OUR dogs antibiotics.
She is extremely selfish. I sit an listen every night about how badly her husband screwed her over 7 years ago blah fucking blah. And I actually try to provide comfort. If I talk to her about any of my problems I am lucky to even get a response that she was even listening. There are times whhere she wasn't listening at all. Shes just so miserable that she wants everyone miserable around her. Well it's working.
And lastly, this might be all over the place because I'm so mad at the situation but this just proved how selfish she is. She tries to take control of our dog. If he wants to play with us she will purposely call him over the her "come to grandma!!! yeahhhhh you're grandmas boy!". She does it mainly to my husband and he finally said something- " He is my dog, its ok for him to want to see other people sometimes" and she responds "NO! He is grnadmas boy" And my husband responded " Um, no I rescued him, I pay for his food, I pay for his vet visits, he is my dog and he will be leaving with us". "Well I trained him!!!" is what she said. And I go " SO what! Great he can roll over and shake your hand, but I was the one who potty trained him. After I left for 4 months he was still pissing and shitting in the laundry room because you take absolutely no disciplinary action. Thats why he is so disrespectful to you. You think he loves you the most but he just sees you as a source of treats and people food, which I have asked you several times not to give him. He jumps on you and invades your personal space. He does not respect you. He walks all over you. WE are his leaders. You are his drunk buddy. If you claim he is your dog then buy is $60 bag of food".
Then she goes on about OUR child. Like she is going to try to take over that too. Hubby told her straight up that s/he will probably not even be in the same state when its born. She proceeded to cry. We told her we needed to move on with our own lives and cant keep holding her stress on our shoulders and she responds "WHAT ABOUT ME!". Well what about you? This isn't about you anymore it s about getting our kid out of a shitty stressful toxic environment. And its also about US. We are married to each other, not you. We are having this baby, NOT YOU! She acts like its all her. Well guess what? I'm leaving my parents behind too. Its not just you, but unlike you they understand and don't smother us with there own problems.
And lastly, she also makes comments about me being a wife. "Well who's going to iron your clothes when you leave?" I go " I know how to iron!" and she goes "Dont get mad I'm just saying you're pregnant and you're being a little princess right now." This was when I was 6 weeks. I am the only one who actually cleans the house and I even mop the floors on my hands and knees. But that's irrelevant. She also called me a bad wife because she saw that his whites we dried on hot. Well I was gone for 3 days and her son was the one who dried those clothes. I think she is a little jealous that she is no longer the only woman in his life and we will be leaving and starting a life of our own and she thinks I'm taking him away.
Ok rant over. Please share your thoughts if you actually read all that lol!
Now, Dhs mom is a DRUNK. I have lived with her for 7 months now and I have realized how toxic alcoholics can be. My life has been nothing BUT stressful. To be honest I am surprised I was ever able to get pregnant and make it in to the second trimester. Even the littlest things she does bothers me now. I woke up this morning and lately my blood sugar has been dropping rapidly almost immediately. So me and dh bought some little chef "b" microwavable dinner things that are quick, small and easy to eat and get my day started. Well I am running to the kitchen shaking and go to grab one and to my not so surprise, they are all gone. All I know is that she probably got drunk and stumbled out in the middle of the night like she always does and grabbed the first thing to crave her appetite. This would'nt be so bad if she actually provided food. Nope. She just buys her milk, egg whites, and cup noodles and chips when they are on bogo. Oh yeah and liqour. 90% of all the food in this house is FOR and BOUGHT by my husband for US. Now if we cook a big dinner she is always welcome to a plate. But I kid you not I will come in the next day for left overs and POOF the food has disappeared! I have even caught her eating right out of the pan, does'nt even bother to put it in a bowl or plate. She ALWAYS tells me how I should be cooking something. WHY DON'T YOU BUY THE FOOD AND COOK IT THEN?!??!!? And on her drunker nights she will literally go over and mess with the heat I have it set on. I finally snapped at her and told her " Don't touch the heat I have it set on that for a reason!" She also does the infamous "Can I have this? I'll replace it." And NEVER does. I want to make a list of all her IOUs and glue it to the fridge.
Then, she is always bitching about how broke she is but she get a 600 dollar check every month for Alimony on top of her 10/hour paycheck + commission every two weeks. I'm pretty sure as of right now she is doing a lot better than us. Oh and she has no mortgage either. He ex husband pays that too. So she buys herself a MK purse and brand new galaxy s4 all in the same day. Proceeds to text my husband how she just spent all her watch money (she sold a watch her ex husband gave her) on the phone and that now she needs money for the toll!!!!!!!!!! She got her hair done this same week but cant take her dying dog to the vet but then proceeds to ask us if we can spare OUR dogs antibiotics.
She is extremely selfish. I sit an listen every night about how badly her husband screwed her over 7 years ago blah fucking blah. And I actually try to provide comfort. If I talk to her about any of my problems I am lucky to even get a response that she was even listening. There are times whhere she wasn't listening at all. Shes just so miserable that she wants everyone miserable around her. Well it's working.
And lastly, this might be all over the place because I'm so mad at the situation but this just proved how selfish she is. She tries to take control of our dog. If he wants to play with us she will purposely call him over the her "come to grandma!!! yeahhhhh you're grandmas boy!". She does it mainly to my husband and he finally said something- " He is my dog, its ok for him to want to see other people sometimes" and she responds "NO! He is grnadmas boy" And my husband responded " Um, no I rescued him, I pay for his food, I pay for his vet visits, he is my dog and he will be leaving with us". "Well I trained him!!!" is what she said. And I go " SO what! Great he can roll over and shake your hand, but I was the one who potty trained him. After I left for 4 months he was still pissing and shitting in the laundry room because you take absolutely no disciplinary action. Thats why he is so disrespectful to you. You think he loves you the most but he just sees you as a source of treats and people food, which I have asked you several times not to give him. He jumps on you and invades your personal space. He does not respect you. He walks all over you. WE are his leaders. You are his drunk buddy. If you claim he is your dog then buy is $60 bag of food".
Then she goes on about OUR child. Like she is going to try to take over that too. Hubby told her straight up that s/he will probably not even be in the same state when its born. She proceeded to cry. We told her we needed to move on with our own lives and cant keep holding her stress on our shoulders and she responds "WHAT ABOUT ME!". Well what about you? This isn't about you anymore it s about getting our kid out of a shitty stressful toxic environment. And its also about US. We are married to each other, not you. We are having this baby, NOT YOU! She acts like its all her. Well guess what? I'm leaving my parents behind too. Its not just you, but unlike you they understand and don't smother us with there own problems.
And lastly, she also makes comments about me being a wife. "Well who's going to iron your clothes when you leave?" I go " I know how to iron!" and she goes "Dont get mad I'm just saying you're pregnant and you're being a little princess right now." This was when I was 6 weeks. I am the only one who actually cleans the house and I even mop the floors on my hands and knees. But that's irrelevant. She also called me a bad wife because she saw that his whites we dried on hot. Well I was gone for 3 days and her son was the one who dried those clothes. I think she is a little jealous that she is no longer the only woman in his life and we will be leaving and starting a life of our own and she thinks I'm taking him away.
Ok rant over. Please share your thoughts if you actually read all that lol!
It's a BOY
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Huge rant and vent about mil. Please feel free to share thoughts
Second, living with people is hard. Drunk or not. I could never live with my MIL. The food stuff, while annoying...is one of those roommate situations that just suck.
Again, move,find a way. If you're that hard up, you'll qualify for assistance.
Definitely this. Before DH and I were married, his father was staying on his couch for a few months. He also battles an alcohol addiction and has plenty of other unhealthy tendencies. One of the first things we talked about in discussing our life after marriage was that his father had to find someplace else to go. We needed to protect our personal space as we were growing together as a newly married/newly living together couple. You and your husband come first, because if there is stress at the core of your relationship (namely stress from MIL), it will translate into stress in other areas. You need to protect yourself and the health of your marriage before the baby is brought into chaos. Let MIL pout and throw a pity party, but she's not your or your husbands responsibility. Boundaries are key. Good luck to you!
this makes me want to go hug my mother in law.
the only solution to this is for you to move out as soon as possible. i really hope you can find a way to do it soon, because if i were you i'd lose my mind in that situation.
Yuck, this sounds like a horrible situation to be in. I would get a move on getting out of there. The stress that are are feeling can impact your baby. It's not fair to your family at all.
Good luck, I hope you guys get your orders fast.
DD born 2/3/03
BFP 3/21/13 w/ EDD 12/02/13, C/P 3/29/13.
BFP 9/18/13 w/ EDD 5/26/14,
Beta #1 @ 14-16dpo = 375, progesterone 33.6
Beta #2 @ 20-22 dpo = 8,782!
Beta #3 @ 27-29dpo = 44,230, dx subchorionic hemorrhage/ threatened mc
Beta #4 @ 29-31dpo = 72, 080
Grow, little one, grow!
***** All AL Welcome *****
She is horrible when its just me and her and she has been drinking. I have to sit and listen to the same story over and over again. I could tell you word for word how horrible her ex husband is. To be honest, I can see why he left her for someone else. She is misery! She is extremely depressed and just like your MIL, all she does is go to the gym, drink, go to her doctors, make pit stops to wal mart to pick up something but I never know what.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
8/15 FET #1 - transferred 1 thawed embryo - Pregnant with Baby C, it's a girl! Due April 2016.
She doesn't pay for anything. Her ex husband does since their divorce 7 years ago. (he cheated on her) and he will continue paying the mortgage until the house is paid off and she also get an alimony check from him each month
I guess you have to live with her everyday to really understand my frustration and the way she treats me is not ok. Making snarky comments all the time, like calling me a bad wife and then laughing about it. Just stupid shit like that. I also forgot to mention her bathroom is her own pharmacy... She has bipolar disorder which doesn't help
And I'm sorry but I completely disagree with a "small price to pay" when someone is rude NON STOP when I do nothing but listen to her cry and bitch every single night about her ex husband and his new wife. Over and over again. I provide her with COMFORT and advice. I clean her house ( which I don't mind doing, it keeps me busy and is good practice for when we do get our own place). As much as I can't stand her I still treat her with so much respect it's disgusting, but you're telling me it's ok for her to take a giant shit on me daily because I am living in her house? She expects me to give her my dogs ANTIBIOTICS because he was sick because she would rather spend money on a new purse and to get her hair colored. I don't care if I am living in her house or not. WE take care of HER and I am also a grown woman who she needs to learn to treat with the same respect I have given her. Calling me a bad wife for something so stupid is NOT ok. She throws snarky little comments about me all the time and she is even worse to her own son. You are allowed to think whatever you want, but I absolutely do not agree with you when you say her snide comments are a small price to pay. She doesn't do anything to earn the right to talk to me like that. If I sat around the house not providing any service to her then sure I would understand. But i do everything around the house. For God sakes I even do her laundry! If anything, I should be the one making the snide, abusive comments to her.
Edit: added wording
I convinced her to drink a few glasses of wine a night instead of her vodka, that lasted a week until I found her hidden bottle. She will have "just one" for about another week and then go back to her old ways.
I just don't see your logic in this at all. We buy her groceries, cook dinner (which she never leaves any left for anyone else ever) clean her house. And you're telling me I should sabotage my dogs health because shes so broke buying her bottles of vodka every other day that she can't take her OWN dog to the vet and get him taken care of? Are you telling me it's my job to take care of her dog too?