Knowing when you're done?

OleMissBride

Hi Ladies- I, not sure where the best place to post, but since all of us have almost 2yo's I thought I'd start here. If your 2/12 LO was you're last- how did you know you were done? We have a 2/12 DD and now a 2week old DD, I'm almost 37 and feel like I want one more. I'm an only and never saw us having more than 2LO's but ever since DD #2 was born, I'm feeling very conflicted to be closing the childbearing chapter of life. We've had some minor complications TTC and with our last being 6w early but have 2 healthy LO's in the end. At this point I'm not sure if it's just hormones or a true desire. I think the normal concerns are what I think about- crazy life with kids out numbering the parents, cost of raising 3 kids, pregnancy more risky with age, etc. But I feel like it's something we should consider now or never. So how did you know when you were done??

Sept07b2b

First of all, I would give yourself a little credit.  You have a 2 week old baby, so you are likely totally hormonal and exhausted.  It's likely not the best time to decide whether you want another child or not.  Presumably, you have a couple months to figure it out. 

But, to answer your question, I find having children to be VERY challenging.  I absolutely LOVE both of my kids (4 year old DS and 2/12 DD), but they are exhausting!!  I knew I wanted at least two, so even though my DS scared me, and I wasn't sure I could do it again, I kind of knew I "had" to because I really wanted him to have a sibling.  I'm really happy I had my DD because they really do interact now and clearly love each other, and it's very sweet to watch them together.

With that said, I kind of think people who have more than 2 children are a little crazy (in jest of course!).  I guess some people are just kids people, but I'm really looking forward to having my kids out of diapers and done with nap times, so we aren't beholden to schedules on the weekend.  Adding a third would just reset that clock, and honestly, I'm not sure how much a third would add to our lives.  They seem pretty filled now, so for me, it's just a no brainer, but I'm also not a "baby" person, so that could have a lot to do with it.  

Good luck with your decision and congrats on your new addition!! 

sunnyday016

We haven't fully decided if we are done or not, but I do know that at 2 weeks after DS was born there was NO WAY I could have made that decision. I would wait at least until your youngest is 2 to make any permanent decisions. One way or the other, what you're feeling now is probably not what you will feel in a few years.

DaizyMay22

I know I'm kind of late to this thread to respond but right after I had Daisy I knew I was done having kids. We decide to give it a year or so to make sure we were comfortable with that decision. Now that she is almost two we are looking at permanent birth control options. Its a personal choice but if you are even considering having another then take a little time to figure it all out. For us two kids is a happy place, three would be crazy, mainly due to living space and finances but also mentally I don't think I could raise three kids. I have a lot of friends who have 4 or 5 kids and have loved every minute if it. I just don't see me having that big if a family.