intro

jca30

Hello,

I've been lurking for a few days and thought I'd finally introduce myself and start participating, as reading everyone else's posts has been helpful (and heartbreaking).  On Halloween, after about a day and a half of thinking that I hadn't felt much movement, I called my doctor and was told to come in.  I really thought I was being paranoid, so I didn't even call my husband to tell him I was going.  The nurse couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler, so one of the doctors came in and did an ultrasound.  Our baby's heart was not beating, and I was scheduled for a C-Section the next day, when I would have been 27 weeks along.  This was my first pregnancy, and we were "Team Green" and hadn't chosen any possible names yet.  The C-Section was my first time ever having surgery, or staying in a hospital overnight.  We named our son Ezra, and were able to spend a few hours with him.  My husband chose to hold him while they finished my surgery, and then we had him with us in recovery and back in our room.  A photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep came and took pictures for us, though we haven't felt ready to look at them yet.  Ezra was 2 lbs, 6.3 oz and 13.5 inches long.  He had dark curly hair and the sweetest little face.  We chose to have an autopsy done, even though we are Jewish - we met with a Rabbi at the hospital who was really supportive through everything.  Our families all flew in over the next few days, and we had a burial with a graveside service on Wednesday 11/6.  Everything has been so surreal.  I work as a high school counselor and can't really fathom going back to work anytime soon.  My 2-week follow up appointment isn't for a few more days still, so I'm waiting to see what my doctor says.

Thanks for reading - I'm very sad to be joining this board, but already grateful for what seems like such a supportive and loving community.

BrittianyM

So very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy Ezra. We are all here for you when ever you need us. Sending thoughts and prayers.

Noethola

***Siggy warning***

I am so very sorry to be welcoming you here. I am sorry for the loss of your son. Please use this board as much or as little as you need. 

irons633

So sorry that you have to be here. Many hugs and prayers to you.

VyD81

I'm sorry for the loss of your son Ezra. Hugs.

jonahsma

What a beautiful name Ezra... Prayers to you during this difficult time

mingaling2

I'm so sorry for your loss. I love the name Ezra.  Thinking of you all during this time, and please know we are here for you.

ajsweeton

Siggy warning


I'm so very sorry for your loss. I love the name Ezra. I hope that joining this board brings you some comfort.

rwkimmons

Praying for you and your family! Lots of hugs and prayers being sent your way

schulme2

I am do sorry for the loss of your sweet Ezra. I hope you can get some answers. As long as work is fine with it, take all the time you need. I can't imagine rushing back to work and having to face people too soon after. Praying for you and your family.

kz's_girlygirl

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Ezra.  Please be gentle with yourself in the weeks ahead.  If possible taking some time away from work might be a good idea. I will be thinking of you and your family and sending thoughts of comfort and peace. 

PerkyErky

**siggy warning**

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Ezra. One of the most comforting things said to me after our loss was by our Rabbi. He said "Some souls need a long time to reach their perfection and others only need a moment here before they are perfect. Your Alice only needed a moment."

Your Ezra only needed a moment here for his soul to reach perfection.

Big hugs to you.

CRUN2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I hadn't felt the baby move, went in at 26 weeks and there was no heartbeat. Nothing could be found except that his cord was twisted and narrow by his bellybutton. We also had a boy and were team green prior to his birth. I'm also a substance abuse counselor and this is my first week back.

Take as much time as you need for yourself. Please private message me if you'd like to talk further.

Big hugs to you and your family during this difficult time.

bunnybun4

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Ezra.  We all hate to welcome moms here but glad you have found a great place for support.  Please use the board as much as you need.

Take as much time off from work as you can...I rushed going back and looking back I really wish I had given myself a little more time. 

I did find that even though every day for a while was really, really hard...but it seemed like each week I could see a little more progress and I could see myself able to do more things each week. 

((HUGS))

stefuge

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy, Ezra. What an adorable name. We're sorry to welcome you to the board, but these women are incredibly strong and encouraging, and please know you are welcome here whenever you need us.

cawettig

I am so sorry for your loss, (((big hugs)))

jca30

Thank you all for your kind words, virtual hugs, and support. Your responses mean more than I can express.

PiperS

I'm sorry you have to join us. I hope you can find comfort here.

Dixon813

~~Siggy Warning~~


I'm so very sorry for the loss of Ezra.  It sucks to welcome anyone to this board, but know that we're here for you however and whenever you need us.  Please be gentle with yourself - you will be in my thoughts and prayers