PAL Check In

Mrs Nice

Welcome to Friday PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.

I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!

Where are you in your PAL journey?

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

QOTW: Do you allow yourself to grieve you angel(s) in front of your LOs or do you try to keep them from seeing you upset?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

stefuge

Where are you in your PAL journey?  Trying to get back into the routine with school for DS, work for DH and I, and everything in between.  Still trying to figure out how the grieving fits in with all the rest.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? The realization that life goes on, especially for those around us, and that people just don't see us as having 2 sons.  That it would be easier for everyone else if we would just get it over it and go back to the way we used to be.  

QOTW: Do you allow yourself to grieve you angel(s) in front of your LOs or do you try to keep them from seeing you upset?  I struggle with this one.  I want DS to know that we miss Colton, and to understand that it is okay to be sad, but I also know that it confuses him when I am sad and crying.  I usually end up trying to hide the tears and breakdowns from him, but do let him see me sad and choked up, because I want him to know those feelings are okay.  

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  This Sunday we are having Colton's memorial and running in a 5k in his honor.  I have really been consumed all week with planning and getting ready for both of these events.  I know DS won't completely understand what is going on, but also want him to be a part of it all.

karebear57

Where are you in your PAL journey?
It's been 2 years and a month since Bri was born.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
I took my oldest son to the store to get some new school pants and the toddler girl clothes were right next to the boys fitting rooms so I looked through the dresses and saw one I could totally picture her in and had to remind myself I don't have her to buy for.

QOTW: Do you allow yourself to grieve you angel(s) in front of your LOs or do you try to keep them from seeing you upset?
I do talk about her and sometimes get teary around them but I don't cry much anymore. If I do I do it alone. The boys will talk about Bri sometimes too. I don't want them to forget about her.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I'm not looking forward to shopping because of all the christmas music I'll have to listen to. My oldest son's birthday is next month and their birthdays are hard for me now since they should have a little sister celebrating with them. She would be 22 months old now.

lolee465

Where are you in your PAL journey?
I'm just starting out. My rainbow is finally here, he's 2 1/2 weeks old.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
None really, I'm just so grateful to have him.

QOTW: Do you allow yourself to grieve you angel(s) in front of your LOs or do you try to keep them from seeing you upset?
I'm not sure how I will handle this in the future. All I know for sure is that he will know all about his older sister.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
We still miss our angel every second, but our rainbow boy has given me and DH a reason to smile again.

jbranden12

@lolee465 congratulations on the birth of Ryan!

Where are you in your PAL journey? Anna is just over 10 months actual, 7 adjusted.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Nothing in particular, but as we have more fun playing with Anna I think about how much fun she and Patricia would have had playing together. 

QOTW: Do you allow yourself to grieve you angel(s) in front of your LOs or do you try to keep them from seeing you upset? She doesn't understand yet, but we talk about Patricia all the time and look at her pictures on the wall.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Some of DH's family is flying over this week for the holiday. I haven't seen them since before we had the girls. I am so happy for them to meet Anna but I also want them to know Patricia and I hope we can find time to go through her box together. I hate that all I have is a box to show them. 

stefuge

@lolee465 - congratulations on Ryan's arrival! So happy for you!

mingaling2

@lolee465  Congratulations!

Heatherhah

Where are you in your PAL journey? it has been 2 years and 2 months since we lost Sydney.
 
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Trinity's first birthday is tomorrow so I feel a bit of stress about her birthday and this huge milestone wth out Sydney.

QOTW: Do you allow yourself to grieve you angel(s) in front of your LOs or do you try to keep them from seeing you upset? I do I cry when I need to and if my kids are there Riley usually is the one who asks if I am sad about Sydney. She seems to just see it in my eyes and knows to hug me.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just trying to get through Trinitys first birthday with out a ton of tears.