once a preemie mom...

PhillyGal34

always a preemie mom? someone recently asked me when I stop "being a preemie mom" and I responded "never" they laughed (not rudely) as if I was joking and I let it go. They did not mean to hurt me or be rude, I want to make that clear.  I think they were honestly curious. 

So here is my question...  do you think you will always consider yourself a preemie mom or do you think at some point you will "just" be a mom?


For me I think I will always consider myself a preemie mom but if my next child is full term I may be able to disassociate with that a little bit. I don't ever want to not be a preemie mom though, it is part of our story.  I am proud of what we got through and how we came out on the other side. 

Nita14701

As a FTM I think I'll always be a preemie mom. It's shaped so much of our learning to be a parent experience. I also think that we will be one and done based on everything and my age. (We went through infertility tx in order to conceive)

LaciJaxx

<--- proud preemie mom here

Missa_g

Always a preemie mom. My boys will always be preemies even once they are 30 and hopefully have zero lasting issues. Growing older doesn't erase the experience.

jbranden12

I will always be a loss mom, I will always be a preemie mom, and I will always be a special needs mom. All of these statuses affect my journey as a parent to all of my children. While I do not think Patricia's death had a purpose nor Anna's suffering, I like to think I appreciate moments with my child more than others and have more perspective. However, it is impossible to know. 

PhillyGal34

Thanks guys. I started to wonder if I was weird for feeling like this would always be a part of us.  At some point I know he will be a "regular kid" but to me he will always be the preemie that stole my heart

Pips09

Always a preemie mom. Our journey has just been so different from what (I imagine) a full term journey would have been.

[Deleted User]

I'm only a preemie mom for three weeks so far but it feels much longer than that. I think I will always associate myself with being a premie mom Bc of the ups and downs in the NICU, the unknown ahead of us but mostly the miracle baby that we WILL eventually bring home. I try no to be bitter about all my friends and family that brought home healthy and full term LOs. I don't know why we got the ultimate prize of having a preemie, but he must be super special!

KTZ17

I think I'll always be a preemie mom, even if I have a full term baby next time. I see myself still enforcing hand washing and sanitizing. I think us preemie moms appreciate our babies in a different way.

Throw3ks

Always a KICK ASS mom. As my H and I talk about the far distant future of another baby I relieze we are some kick ass parents. I will always remember our LO is a preemie. I see life in a different way now. So much so I quit my job because the people I worked with with such bitter hateful people. They couldn't appreciate the little things in life. Maybe I was like that too when I worked there but now I can't associate myself with that negativity.

ashleymarie512

Always a IF and preemie momma! I've learned so much during this whole journey, even back to starting TTC. I learned how amazing of a man my husband is, even when he drives me nuts, and how strong I am and how our marriage can really handle quite a bit of crap and come out stronger! It's our story and I'm stickin' to it!

kck329

Yes and no. 

Prematurity will always be my DD's story. And it will always be the story that shaped how I became a mother. So I will always identify myself as a preemie mom. BUT now that she is close to 3, I can also see myself healing and I don't find myself telling everyone our preemie story very often anymore. I want people to see her as an individual, not as a preemie so I'm trying to learn to see myself as a mom who had a preemie rather than making the preemie part the biggest factor in my parenting story. 

A year ago I would have had a completely different answer though. Who knows what I will think a year from now...

brachysira

You always have to be a preemie mom because you always have to know what might come with prematurity at every age, look for it, and deal with it if it exists in your child.  BUT you cannot always be a preemie mom like you may have been.  If you spend 1 year or even 5 washing your hands compulsively, slapping away strangers and friends, watching the oxygen monitor, going to therapy, or whatever, lest you have a baby in the ER with pneumonia, or whatever, then you're always be on high alert about your child.  My neighbor was like this, and she supervised her son at age 10 like he was 2, and when he was 16, like he was 2...he was a math genius, but socially never normal, and I always thought it was her hovering that majorly contributed to or even caused this...  Anyway, I try to live like I am not a preemie mom with the day-to-day because I want her to experience all she can.

rslhmg

I will always think of myself as a preemie mom because of our journey, it changed me. I will probably be paranoid for a long time about germs and flu/rsv season. I still feel frustration when my term mom friends don't understand why I worry about things that seem trivial to them because dd is caught up milestone wise with her actual age group. I worry now about making it to term with this pregnancy because I know how quickly blissful ignorance can be taken away. My dd may be on par with term babies in everything but size, but I can never forget what she went through to get here.

aessary03

Always a preemie mom!   

megs2011

Always a preemie mom. It's definitely a big part of my girls story like others have said.

conradtn

We're still at the beginning of our journey, so to me definitely always a preemie mom

jcsntms06

Proud preemie mom x 2 here!

solemnlyswear

Always a preemie mom. I feel likeit made me see being a parent differently. It feels even more present when I talk with my friends who are not preemie moms. 

punky917

Always a preemie mom. Even though DS was born 14 weeks early 5 years ago and DD is full term, I still have the same fears (even though it is not to the same degree). I even have the sign on her car seat that was on DS's that says "Please wash your hands before touching mine."

KatFCo

I may no longer be the mom of a preemie, but I will always be a preemie mom. At this point, I feel like I'll still be a preemie mom when she graduates high school.

rednelson

I am in some ways, but now at 2 years out I think I'm finally letting go. It will always be a part of our journey, and I may always be a freak about germs, but now when I watch DS run around with other kiddos in his gymnastics class Im more inclined to think about what an awesome little guy he is then about the obstacles he's overcome.

BLPL101

Always. She will be 1 next month and it's still very raw to me. I am bitter when I read the things term moms take for granted.

DrRx

I'll always be a preemie mom!  I think that it's an important part of my story and DD's story. 

sdtchica13

(poking in from July 2013)

I'll definitely always be a preemie mom, even after having a 40 weeker this time around. It's a part of Corri's birth story, and consumed such a huge part of our lives for her first two years, it's hard not to be. It's aso why I get irrationally upset with people who try to make their babies come early. 

solemnlyswear

sdtchica13 said:

(poking in from July 2013)

I'll definitely always be a preemie mom, even after having a 40 weeker this time around. It's a part of Corri's birth story, and consumed such a huge part of our lives for her first two years, it's hard not to be. It's aso why I get irrationally upset with people who try to make their babies come early. 

I completely agree. I have several friends on facebook who keep complaining that they want thier baby to come early and how they are trying everything to make them go into labor. Some as early as thirty two weeks. I don't say anything but it makes me so angry I want to scream at them.