Thanksgiving

sunflwra

So we are checking into the hospital tonight to begin the induction and say goodbye to our sweet boy. I know it will be a process to grieve and get through this but now I'm thinking about the holidays that I was so excited for previously. We're going to see my mom's side of the family for a week at Thanksgiving.  My mom has told them what happened so that I didn't have to, for which I'm very grateful. But now I have to go spend a week with these people that I love, but many of  which won't know what to say or how to "deal" me.  And rightfully so, I'm going through it and I wouldn't know what to say to someone else at this point. I just think it's going to be a really uncomfortable week. Trying to be positive and thankful for some great people that are in my life but it's just really gonna suck. 

schulme2

I'm so sorry. I hope today goes as well as possible. I'm 6 months out and still don't like to/want to see people. It's so hard to try to be ok in front of people and watch them try to figure out what to say to you. It will get easier and you will get through this!

kz's_girlygirl

I will be thinking of you and your son today and sending thoughts of peace. 

I am only spending 2 days away from home traveling for Thanksgiving this year and worry that it might still be too much for me.  I know for me, after Jesse was born I needed to just have the freedom to cry, lay in bed, be by myself and watch tv etc.  If you do travel, I hope you will feel supported and not like you are being forced to put on a smile for everyone.  Those first few days are really difficult. 

Noethola

***Siggy warning***

Last year, we lost Elsie a few weeks before Christmas. The Christmas holidays were really hard to get through. For the most part, when I went to a new gathering, I simply made sure to see everyone right off (so no one would seek me out and be awkward.) They then pretty much let me do whatever I needed. I went on walks, I remember staring out a window for a while, not always being engaged in conversation. Most people let me be, let me do what I needed to do. I hope they are able to give you that as well. Do not feel like you have to put on a show or always be okay. Its ok to grieve. 

jbranden12

((hugs)) wishing you a smooth delivery. 

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***



Do what's best for you. If you need to hide out while you're around the family, then do that. My mom scrapped Thanksgiving plans last year because I didn't want to deal with people - I know that probably isn't possible for you, but do not feel bad if you do not want to deal with anyone. I know it will be hard, but I do hope you can find some support and comfort with your family being around, too.

I'll be thinking of you and your family today and through the weekend. Sending so many hugs your way.

shandorfml2

I'm thinking of you and your family. Just be open and honest with them, and if you can't participate that's fine. We're changing up our traditions this year because it is just to hard.

stefuge

Honestly, I told my DH that I wasn't up for spending thanksgiving with all of us family and extended family and just want to stay home with my immediate family, where I know there won't be awkward comments and conversations. He understood and fielded all the issues with his mom. I realize this isn't an option for everyone, but I think you need to do what you need to do. Right now it's okay to be a little selfish and protect yourself. If it's just to take some time alone away from everyone, or just to say you don't want to talk about it, right now it's just about survival. I'm so sorry we all have to deal with this.

VyD81

T & P as you go through delivery.

ajsweeton

Siggy warning




Last year we lost Elliott and Ryland at the beginning of December. We skipped a lot of Christmas stuff, but ended up going to my family's celebration. It was hard. I did what I needed to to get through it by playing with my niece and pretending. When some of the "extra" people in our family had left I somehow ended up talking about what had happened and even showing them pictures of Elliott and Ryland. It was hard, but I wouldn't change being able to share them with my aunts and cousins for anything. It felt right to me to talk and share and let them know how wonderful my babies were.

Just remember to do what you need to do for yourself. Please do not feel like you need to be somewhere or fake it for others. Right now, this time is all about you and your SO. Don't try to please everyone or act the way they want you too. That was one of the hardest things for me to grasp as I'm usually a people pleaser, but there was no way for me to react the way everyone expected me to. I'm so sorry you're going through this especially so close to a holiday where you'll be surrounded by people. Just try and take the time out for yourself that you need and don't apologize for anything. I'll be thinking about you and your sweet boy and praying for you.

PiperS

I agree with everyone about doing what is best for you. It's also okay if what is best for you is putting on a fake smile for everyone. I know I'm in the minority but I'm very private about my loss. I don't like sharing my feelings with anyone besides a very select few and for me it helps to pretend to be normal. it helps me to put my pain aside for a little while. sometimes I have to do some deep breathing in the bathroom to stop the tears but it's the way I cope and everyone is different. Don't worry about anyone else. do what's best for you! you are in my thoughts and prayers. there is no right answer for something like this. also you don't have to go anywhere you don't want to right now. family will understand.