MIL

nikel13

Not to change the subject of almost every post in the last 8 hours, but...

I need some help.  Some background.  We moved to GA because I got a job in a field that I have some opportunity to advance in (granted, I now want to be a SAHM).  My MIL is the President of this college that I started working at, leaving me at a contract level at best until she moves up or on.  This job was her ploy to get H and I in the same state as her instead of my parents, which I knew going into.  It was just too good to pass up.

The issue is that any time I vent to H about work, he tells his mom and it gets back to my supervisor.  Any time I tell her about something that happened, just talking to my MIL and trying to build some kind of relationship (we've never had much of one and I'm trying for Lily's sake), she talks to my supervisor.  My supervisor thinks I'm not telling her things because of I don't know what reason.  She sometimes knows things before I can even try to talk to her.  How should I get this to stop?  Honest conversation with MIL is not really an option because she is passive aggressive and easily offended.  I've stopped talking about work with her almost completely.  Any ideas on how to get her to separate work and family?

GingerBabyTX

You could always TRY the honest approach and tell her that it hurts you that she doesn't value your relationship enough to keep things that you say private.  And then just quit talking to her about work.  That is a crappy situation. 

BC&LM

I think you need to talk to more than just your MIL. Why is your husband running back and telling his mom what you said? That stuff is your personal business, and your hubby shouldn't be spreading it without asking you first.

In terms of your MIL, just make work an off limits topic. If she brings it up, deflect.

jennOK

I would just never talk to MIL about work. I would jump all over my husband for saying anything to her from a private conversation.

Might I add that my husband can't keep his mouth shut either, and gets jumped on quite often about sharing things he shouldn't.

No longer the best

Yeah my first thought was your husband! Talk to him first. I could totally understand how that would be awkward for you and your supervisor.

BLT20051

BC&LM said:

I think you need to talk to more than just your MIL. Why is your husband running back and telling his mom what you said? That stuff is your personal business, and your hubby shouldn't be spreading it without asking you first.

In terms of your MIL, just make work an off limits topic. If she brings it up, deflect.

ITA: sounds more like a DH problem than a MIL problem.

ASmallWonder

ITA with the others that this is first, a DH problem.  There's zero reason for him to be telling his mother everything you guys talk about, especially when he knows it's going to impact you at work.