Any of you go through this?

luvmygirls22

My hubby came to me two weeks ago and said he is on board for having one more which is wonderful and I am very excited. We are planning on TTC in January but for some reason I think reality is hitting and I feel unsure. I am still very excited. I am on a roller coaster. Does this make sense? This happen to anyone else or am I crazy? 

AlanaB2010

I don't have any children yet so probably have no right to comment on this, but I feel the exact same way.  I kind of flip-flop between two opinions on this.  On the one hand, to me, if you're not nervous to some extent, you're crazy, because it's a major life upheaval to have a child (still true if you're going from 1 to 2 or 2 to 3 or whatever you guys are up to).  I'm also an overthinker/planner which means I'll always think of cons as well as pros to every situation.  I have tried to curb this via the creation of many elaborate spreadsheets.  On the other hand, I do sometimes second guess myself and wonder if I am ready, and maybe you want to keep an open line of communication with DH about your concerns.  Maybe they are things that can be addressed through discussion and planning.  You can always put off TTC for a few months if you feel overwhelmed right now, right?  Good luck!

Ducktale

Ditto what PP said, and then I just want to add that another reason it can be nerve wracking is it is something that we've been planning for for awhile, so when the time "finally" comes, it can be a bit overwhelming.

I will say this though, even though there's some nerves, I don't think I ever really felt unsure. I bet its normal and many do, since you don't really know what you're getting yourself into and it is such a big deal. But just for me, in my personal experience, even though I may have had some mild anxiety, I was always still sure this is what I wanted and the time is right. If you think you're feeling more than "typical" nerves, agree that you can just hold off another month or more to give you time to make sure this is the right decision for you.

luvmygirls22

Thank you so much ladies. Hubby and I are both on board and excited but also realistic about the sacrifices that we will make. (Not meaning that in a negative way) I think also when the time comes and it is actually happening it will be very exciting. The other thing is that I am still in shock because for the longest time I thought we were done and then my hubby comes to me and starts asking me where l a third child would sleep. I wanted to scream in excitement! 

Irishcurls

This is me just thinking about TTC #1. I think it's a lot to consider, the sacrifice and the real way your life changes. Hopefully it's totally normal, but either way you're not alone! GL to you guys!

SmileyJay

I am currently going through then when planning for a first. My husband is wonderful and in a no pressure way keeps bringing up how ready he is to have a baby. He gets what a big deal it is, but he is just "ready" while I flip flop. I am so happy with how things are, I don't want things to change permanently. He is almost 2 years older though so I think that is a driving factor. 

There are days I am consumed with the idea of getting pregnant, planning baby stuff, finding a perfect name, yadda yadda... then other days I just marvel in how quiet and settled our home is, how much I love it just being him and our pets, etc. I guess the decision to have a first is very different than the decision to have a second in that you have already dedicated yourself to being a parent. I have heard a 2nd is much more difficult but obviously doable. I think there will be a time - probably within the next year for me - that I will feel completely on board in the way that he is. In the past 6 months or so I have already changed so much to wanting a child. Just give it time and think it through, you will get there.

luvmygirls22

It is a big change from no kids to one and then from one to two. This will be # 3 for us. We will be finished after this one. We are going to start trying in January but this is nice that it gives us some time to think things through but at the same time on prenatals. My almost 5 year old wants to go to Disney and I think that is what is hardest for me because when we have one more, Disney won't happen. But I think okay-Disney is a one time thing and then its over. A baby I think will bring much more joy to our family than 4 days in Disney. I don't really feel guilty for that anymore.  

luvmygirls22

**Irishcuris-love your quote in your soggy. HILARIOUS!

)

Irishcurls

luvmygirls22 said:

**Irishcuris-love your quote in your soggy. HILARIOUS!

)

And very true, am I right?? 

theholmanherd

For a while I would be on board with pregnancy and then I would get my hopes up that I was and panic. It's normal and, as I've learned, you can never be truly prepared for everything. You do need to decide if another baby is what you want first. Gl!

luvmygirls22

SO TRUE!!!

luvmygirls22

We definitely want one more