UO Thursday

BelhurstBride

Maritza707 said:

I never go shopping on black Friday, but I told DH he's watching Ty and I'm getting us all new appliances for our kitchen this year.  Our dishwasher sucks, our microwave w/hood is as old as my little brother, the fridge light keeps crapping out, and the stove somehow has a crack in the glass.  They all came with the house, but I'm over them and am willing to stay up all night (like that's any different than now, lol) to get a good deal on all four.

@maritza707- shop the scratch and dent section! I got all three appliances for original price of the refrigerator. And not a single one of them have any obvious signs of damage. In fact, the stove and dishwasher were special orders that someone ordered then changed their mind on, so they were completely brand new. The fridge had a small dent near the back but it's totally hidden by the cabinets. 

Soleil3

LAMuehlen said:

My uo, i wont teach ds to believe in santa. My parents didnt teach me to believe in santa, the tooth fairy, or the easter bunny. Plus i want all the credit.

This explains so much. 

Revez

MommyAmes2 said:

LAMuehlen said:

My uo, i wont teach ds to believe in santa. My parents didnt teach me to believe in santa, the tooth fairy, or the easter bunny. Plus i want all the credit.

Way to suck the fun out of his childhood.

My parents never taught me about all the magical people that did awesome things as a kid. I grew up thinking they liked my friends but purposely missed my house because they didn't like me.

Then when I got older I was the bitch that told everyone they weren't real.

CourtJack

MommyAmes2 said:

LAMuehlen said:

My uo, i wont teach ds to believe in santa. My parents didnt teach me to believe in santa, the tooth fairy, or the easter bunny. Plus i want all the credit.

Way to suck the fun out of his childhood.

That blows. Your LO is destined to be the class Debbie Downer.

MommyKristin88

TurtleMomma said:

Yup.

Eww turtle sex!

V&G101808

Zever000 said:

MommyAmes2 said:

LAMuehlen said:

My uo, i wont teach ds to believe in santa. My parents didnt teach me to believe in santa, the tooth fairy, or the easter bunny. Plus i want all the credit.

Way to suck the fun out of his childhood.

My parents never taught me about all the magical people that did awesome things as a kid. I grew up thinking they liked my friends but purposely missed my house because they didn't like me.

Then when I got older I was the bitch that told everyone they weren't real.

Ehhhh. I knew he didn't exist but I wasn't a bitch to the other kids either. I just thought they were stupid but kept that to myself.

Why should it matter where the gifts come from? My UO I guess.

Soleil3

(Secretly teaches v&g's babe about Santa)

mommabmb

CourtJack said:

MommyKristin88 said:

LJUTCMommy said:

My UO is probably not a UO on TB but us one in IRL. I think the US should have a 6 month paid maternity leave policy in all states. It would work just like the CA ML policy, but last 6 months instead of 3. People are paid 55% of their normal wages and it is take out of state disability funds (it's already been paid for by your taxes) And employees would have job protection regardless of the size of their employer. I also think 6 months of paternal bonding leave would be great too. Dads deserve it too.

Definitely not a UO. I wish my maternity leave would have been paid, and definitely longer.

I hope you guys get this also. It breaks my heart that you have to go back to work SO early. It sort of baffles me that such a powerful country doesn't have better maternity leave provisions. Now that being said, I know NOTHING of US politics, so I'm sure it's much more complicated than just making it so. I just figure, if we can do so can you? Anyways, this whole Obamacare thing - is more like universal health care, correct? In that case, maybe it's a step toward improved maternity leave? Or no?OK,  I think maybe I need to google. I will return....edumacated. 



It's nothing like universal healthcare. It's a change in legislation that allows for the expansion of state Medicaid to those that fall in the gap, keeps ins from denying claims for a pre-existing condition, keeps insurance from charging more based on health or gender, and provides a marketplace or exchange (depending on the state) where citizens can compare and buy coverage that may or may not be subsidized based on income. Changes only apply to about 5-10% of the US. No one with Medicare, Medicaid or a qualified plan currently will see any changes.

Maybe my UO should have been more explanatory about my frustration. Most US citizens have no idea about Obamacare or think Obamacare is "insurance", not just internationally. I wish everyone would do their research before having a strong opinion (not talking about anyone here, PP, just the crap you hear around and in the media). There is a lot of stuff I don't agree with. I work with insurance for a living, and my consulting gig has me working with some doctors determining how to set up changes in their office to accommodate the differences.

MommyKristin88

Soleil3 said:

LAMuehlen said:

My uo, i wont teach ds to believe in santa. My parents didnt teach me to believe in santa, the tooth fairy, or the easter bunny. Plus i want all the credit.

This explains so much. 

*gigglesnort*

LJUTCMommy

CourtJack said:

MommyKristin88 said:

LJUTCMommy said:

My UO is probably not a UO on TB but us one in IRL. I think the US should have a 6 month paid maternity leave policy in all states. It would work just like the CA ML policy, but last 6 months instead of 3. People are paid 55% of their normal wages and it is take out of state disability funds (it's already been paid for by your taxes) And employees would have job protection regardless of the size of their employer. I also think 6 months of paternal bonding leave would be great too. Dads deserve it too.

Definitely not a UO. I wish my maternity leave would have been paid, and definitely longer.

I hope you guys get this also. It breaks my heart that you have to go back to work SO early. It sort of baffles me that such a powerful country doesn't have better maternity leave provisions. Now that being said, I know NOTHING of US politics, so I'm sure it's much more complicated than just making it so. I just figure, if we can do so can you? Anyways, this whole Obamacare thing - is more like universal health care, correct? In that case, maybe it's a step toward improved maternity leave? Or no?OK,  I think maybe I need to google. I will return....edumacated. 


Good luck with that! Our political system is awful, run by a bunch of out of touch morons who love to punish people for having vaginas. (Maybe that's my real UO).

OC isn't universal healthcare. It's just a step toward making sure everyone has health insurance and that the coverage they have doesn't suck. But like the subject @turtlemomma mentioned, it could have a detrimental effect on the working poor. They're too rich to get financial assistance, but they're also too poor to afford another $100+ a month bill for mandatory health insurance.

Swaziland, Papua New Guinea, and the USA are the only countries without paid ML. Even countries like Chad, Pakistan, and Mali have it. If they have their policy together why can't we?

MitsB707

BelhurstBride said:

Maritza707 said:

I never go shopping on black Friday, but I told DH he's watching Ty and I'm getting us all new appliances for our kitchen this year.  Our dishwasher sucks, our microwave w/hood is as old as my little brother, the fridge light keeps crapping out, and the stove somehow has a crack in the glass.  They all came with the house, but I'm over them and am willing to stay up all night (like that's any different than now, lol) to get a good deal on all four.

@maritza707- shop the scratch and dent section! I got all three appliances for original price of the refrigerator. And not a single one of them have any obvious signs of damage. In fact, the stove and dishwasher were special orders that someone ordered then changed their mind on, so they were completely brand new. The fridge had a small dent near the back but it's totally hidden by the cabinets. 

@belhurstbride



How is it that in my 28 years I have never heard of said section?!?!?!?!  Apparently I live in my own little world.  I must find this!!!  Thanks for the tip!!!

ETA:  This gif now makes me want a martini.  Shaken, extra dirty, and with an extra couple olives floating around in it....mmmmm......

MynaBird

I had the big expensive wedding with 200 guests and a five-figure price tag. And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. It drove me crazy when people who didn't know anything about our finances would scold me to not "go into debt for a party" or imply that having a big fancy wedding meant we thought it was all about the event and didn't really understand what marriage was all about. We wanted an awesome party, so we had one. People still talk about how fun our wedding was.

mommabmb

Maritza707 said:

BelhurstBride said:

Maritza707 said:

I never go shopping on black Friday, but I told DH he's watching Ty and I'm getting us all new appliances for our kitchen this year.  Our dishwasher sucks, our microwave w/hood is as old as my little brother, the fridge light keeps crapping out, and the stove somehow has a crack in the glass.  They all came with the house, but I'm over them and am willing to stay up all night (like that's any different than now, lol) to get a good deal on all four.

@maritza707- shop the scratch and dent section! I got all three appliances for original price of the refrigerator. And not a single one of them have any obvious signs of damage. In fact, the stove and dishwasher were special orders that someone ordered then changed their mind on, so they were completely brand new. The fridge had a small dent near the back but it's totally hidden by the cabinets. 

@belhurstbride



How is it that in my 28 years I have never heard of said section?!?!?!?!  Apparently I live in my own little world.  I must find this!!!  Thanks for the tip!!!

ETA:  This gif now makes me want a martini.  Shaken, extra dirty, and with an extra
couple olives floating around in it....mmmmm......



Yes! This! Our whole kitchen was $2200 from Lowes.

PrimRoseMama

My, hopefully not really UO, is that I fully intend on doing Santa, The Easter Bunny etc. I believe it encourages a sense of wonder, magic & fun to holidays & life in general. They have their whole life to get beat down by harsh realities. Let them have the fantasy for five to eight years. It's fun for them dammit.

Remember fun? :-??

Edit: I also think it encourages creative play, storytelling & brain development. Imagination is vital and play is vital. Dream-squishing can be a big deal in the long run.

When your kid pretends are you going to squash that too? FFS people.

henderson1026

PrimRoseMama said:

My, hopefully not really UO, is that I fully intend on doing Santa, The Easter Bunny etc. I believe it encourages a sense of wonder, magic & fun to holidays & life in general. They have their whole life to get beat down by harsh realities. Let them have the fantasy for five to eight years. It's fun for them dammit. Remember fun? :-??

We are all over that stuff.  My DH and I still believe in Santa  

MitsB707

MynaBird said:

I had the big expensive wedding with 200 guests and a five-figure price tag. And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. It drove me crazy when people who didn't know anything about our finances would scold me to not "go into debt for a party" or imply that having a big fancy wedding meant we thought it was all about the event and didn't really understand what marriage was all about. We wanted an awesome party, so we had one. People still talk about how fun our wedding was.

We had over two hundred guests, five-figure price tag, and people still talk about how much fun they had at our wedding, too, almost five years later.  I'm not saying it wasn't awesome.  I still would have preferred the money for a house.  Actually, I would have preferred to just been given the money, not have to work for two years, and spend the time taking care of DS.

ETA:  To each their own.

LJUTCMommy

@MynaBird I had the opposite pressure. DH's family made it clear that if it wasn't going to be 300+ guests and over 30K, it would be "embarrassing".

Marvel1013

Cocolamo1 said:

I think that children should be properly restrained on airplanes in car seats. I don't think someone is a bad mother if they chose to have a lap baby in the past, but knowing the potential dangers and still making that choice is cause for some side-eyeing from me.

You can take the baby out if you need to, but you have them safely in their seat in the event of turbulence or a runway crash. Flame away!

Ah hello, what do you think about buses then. They don't even have seatbelts.

MinnesotaMomma91

Meh, i had a great child hood, i just knew my parents were the ones giving the gifts. Plus i grew up in a tiny christian farming community. No one i knew my age believed in that stuff.

So thats my choice, my son can have a great child hood with out believing in that stuff

MitsB707

henderson1026 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

My, hopefully not really UO, is that I fully intend on doing Santa, The Easter Bunny etc. I believe it encourages a sense of wonder, magic & fun to holidays & life in general. They have their whole life to get beat down by harsh realities. Let them have the fantasy for five to eight years. It's fun for them dammit. Remember fun? :-??

We are all over that stuff.  My DH and I still believe in Santa  

My sister's in-laws are super creepy when it comes to Santa.  When my sister and BIL used to live in the apartment above BIL's parents, they wake up to matching Christmas pj's from Santa on their kitchen table in the morning.  That means they actually went into their apartment when they were asleep to put them there.  Then, once they bought their house a couple minutes from BIL's parents, BIL would go out at 7am to get the paper and Santa would have a bag on their doorknob with their matching Christmas pj's.  So they drove there in the middle of the night to leave them there.  So weird.

PrimRoseMama

LAMuehlen said:

Meh, i had a great child hood, i just knew my parents were the ones giving the gifts. Plus i grew up in a tiny christian farming community. No one i knew my age believed in that stuff.

So thats my choice, my son can have a great child hood with out believing in that stuff

Right, but how will you explain pretending & encourage creative imagination? Those skills need nurturing too. It's not just about "because Jesus". It's about skills that help your kid out. It helps with flexibility and open-mindedness (yeah I created that word whatev). There is a whole skill set that you are neglecting here.

Santa & the Easter bunny are not necessarily about gifts, but a sense of wonder, magic & allowing your kid to feel something special.

BlondieBia21

Wait, are you guys telling me that Santa isn't real? 

PrimRoseMama

LJUTCMommy said:

@MynaBird I had the opposite pressure. DH's family made it clear that if it wasn't going to be 300+ guests and over 30K, it would be "embarrassing".

My BFF's fiancé has this idea too. They can't afford a big wedding & really don't have many people to invite. Aside from the fact that this dude is a big, abusive dillhole, he is constantly downing my BFF's attempts to wedding plan because he "doesn't want to be embarrassed". He thinks people will judge him as a man & provider if they don't have a blowout extravaganza.

I'm the MOH & I'm ready to throw my hands in the air. What BFF sees in this tool I don't know. There is a ton more to the train wreck (which I will probably post about at some point) but I have to say I don't understand this mentality.

Maybe a UO-- if you make it about the show, the Benjamins & big to-do sometimes you lose sight of the fact that you are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. That's it. Having a good party doesn't mean huge sums of money.

I guess it doesn't help that every huge, expensive wedding I've attended or been part of ended in divorce within five years. Priorities yo.

LJUTCMommy

PrimRoseMama said:

LJUTCMommy said:

@MynaBird I had the opposite pressure. DH's family made it clear that if it wasn't going to be 300+ guests and over 30K, it would be "embarrassing".

My BFF's fiancé has this idea too. They can't afford a big wedding & really don't have many people to invite. Aside from the fact that this dude is a big, abusive dillhole, he is constantly downing my BFF's attempts to wedding plan because he "doesn't want to be embarrassed". He thinks people will judge him as a man & provider if they don't have a blowout extravaganza.

I'm the MOH & I'm ready to throw my hands in the air. What BFF sees in this tool I don't know. There is a ton more to the train wreck (which I will probably post about at some point) but I have to say I don't understand this mentality.

Maybe a UO-- if you make it about the show, the Benjamins & big to-do sometimes you lose sight of the fact that you are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. That's it. Having a good party doesn't mean huge sums of money.

I guess it doesn't help that every huge, expensive wedding I've attended or been part of ended in divorce within five years. Priorities yo.

Tell your friend to run!! What a dick hole.

ITA the biggest weddings I attended led to the shortest marriages. Obviously, this isn't true for everyone, just some of the people I know.

DH and I are very happy we eloped. It was also really fun being "secretly married" for a while.

Smom901316

LJUTCMommy said:

RivieraBound said:

MommyAmes2 said:

RivieraBound said:

I don't get Black Friday shopping.  Every Thanksgiving I get the paper to have a look at the sales, and nothing has ever jumped out at me that warrants getting up so early and dealing with the masses.

That's half the fun! Watching all the crazies crying over pot and pan sets (true story). My sister and I go every year.

well THAT might be worth getting up for!


Truth! I saw a grown woman crying over a pair of jeans once.


I have been Black Friday shopping once ... I didn't get what I went for, an old lady was screaming at another patron, and I saw a kid throwing up in the electronics aisle... I will never go back and you can't make me.

henderson1026

Maritza707 said:

henderson1026 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

My, hopefully not really UO, is that I fully intend on doing Santa, The Easter Bunny etc. I believe it encourages a sense of wonder, magic & fun to holidays & life in general. They have their whole life to get beat down by harsh realities. Let them have the fantasy for five to eight years. It's fun for them dammit. Remember fun? :-??

We are all over that stuff.  My DH and I still believe in Santa  

My sister's in-laws are super creepy when it comes to Santa.  When my sister and BIL used to live in the apartment above BIL's parents, they wake up to matching Christmas pj's from Santa on their kitchen table in the morning.  That means they actually went into their apartment when they were asleep to put them there.  Then, once they bought their house a couple minutes from BIL's parents, BIL would go out at 7am to get the paper and Santa would have a bag on their doorknob with their matching Christmas pj's.  So they drove there in the middle of the night to leave them there.  So weird.

I used to get pajamas dropped off on christmas eve so i could change into them for the night - I'll be keeping that tradition for my LO.

MitsB707

henderson1026 said:

Maritza707 said:

henderson1026 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

My, hopefully not really UO, is that I fully intend on doing Santa, The Easter Bunny etc. I believe it encourages a sense of wonder, magic & fun to holidays & life in general. They have their whole life to get beat down by harsh realities. Let them have the fantasy for five to eight years. It's fun for them dammit. Remember fun? :-??

We are all over that stuff.  My DH and I still believe in Santa  

My sister's in-laws are super creepy when it comes to Santa.  When my sister and BIL used to live in the apartment above BIL's parents, they wake up to matching Christmas pj's from Santa on their kitchen table in the morning.  That means they actually went into their apartment when they were asleep to put them there.  Then, once they bought their house a couple minutes from BIL's parents, BIL would go out at 7am to get the paper and Santa would have a bag on their doorknob with their matching Christmas pj's.  So they drove there in the middle of the night to leave them there.  So weird.

I used to get pajamas dropped off on christmas eve so i could change into them for the night - I'll be keeping that tradition for my LO.

The note said they were from Santa, and they didn't have children at the time.  I'm all for Christmas jammies since my mom gets us matching ones as gifts every year (our tradition is we get together on Christmas eve and open presents at midnight as a family with all aunts, uncles, cousins together).  I just found it creepy that they entered their apartment when they were asleep (and likely after 2am since that's when everyone usually gets home from Christmas eve) and drove to their house in the early hours before they woke up to deliver them. 

BlondieBia21

LJUTCMommy said: **snip**

ITA the biggest weddings I attended led to the shortest marriages. Obviously, this isn't true for everyone, just some of the people I know.  

I doubt the big wedding led to the marriage being short. I imagine it's the people not being compatible that led to the short marriage. 

TurtleMomma

MommyKristin88 said:

TurtleMomma said:

Yup.

Eww turtle sex!

The previous post results in this:

MinnesotaMomma91

PrimRoseMama said:

LAMuehlen said:

Meh, i had a great child hood, i just knew my parents were the ones giving the gifts. Plus i grew up in a tiny christian farming community. No one i knew my age believed in that stuff.

So thats my choice, my son can have a great child hood with out believing in that stuff

Right, but how will you explain pretending & encourage creative imagination? Those skills need nurturing too. It's not just about "because Jesus". It's about skills that help your kid out. It helps with flexibility and open-mindedness (yeah I created that word whatev). There is a whole skill set that you are neglecting here.

Santa & the Easter bunny are not necessarily about gifts, but a sense of wonder, magic & allowing your kid to feel something special.

There are ways to encourage creativity besides santa. Like reading and playing and arts and crafts.

Also, im open minded even though i didnt believe in santa, and holidays arent just "about jesus" its about family.

But what ever well agree to disagree, cause your never going to convince me to teach ds santa is real and im never going to convince you that its okay not to teach your kid that

MommyKristin88

@ turtlemomma Dang they were fertile!

KatyKatMeowz

I don't think it's a big deal not to teach Santa, etc. My parents did, but I cant say I ever believed. The concept didn't make sense to me, and I dropped the pretended around age 6. I remember mentioning not believing in Santa to a friend in 3rd grade and being totally shocked that she was upset. I wasn't trying to be a Dick, I honestly just thought no one our age believed in Santa anymore. I don't know what we'll do, but I suspect my husband will want to teach Santa is real.

BellaOso

Sooo many wonderful topics, I'm sure this one won't make a dent.

People always tell me how lucky I am to have girls because their clothes are cuter than the boys. I am lucky to have girls for other reasons, but I shop all up in the boys section because there is only bows, flowers, butterflies and desserts on the girl clothes. My toddler and I like dinosaurs and robots, and puppies and we look better in blue and green than in pastel pink. She wears the crap out of her monster sweater from target.

TurtleMomma

MommyKristin88 said:

@ turtlemomma Dang they were fertile!

FeetFirst

henderson1026 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

My, hopefully not really UO, is that I fully intend on doing Santa, The Easter Bunny etc. I believe it encourages a sense of wonder, magic & fun to holidays & life in general. They have their whole life to get beat down by harsh realities. Let them have the fantasy for five to eight years. It's fun for them dammit.

Remember fun? :-??

We are all over that stuff.  My DH and I still believe in Santa  



All gifts under the tree are from Santa, always have been. Who else would put them there

Motto in our family: You don't believe? You don't receive!

PrimRoseMama

LAMuehlen said:

Meh, i had a great child hood, i just knew my parents were the ones giving the gifts. Plus i grew up in a tiny christian farming community. No one i knew my age believed in that stuff. So thats my choice, my son can have a great child hood with out believing in that stuff

Right, but how will you explain pretending & encourage creative imagination? Those skills need nurturing too. It's not just about "because Jesus". It's about skills that help your kid out. It helps with flexibility and open-mindedness (yeah I created that word whatev). There is a whole skill set that you are neglecting here. Santa & the Easter bunny are not necessarily about gifts, but a sense of wonder, magic & allowing your kid to feel something special.

There are ways to encourage creativity besides santa. Like reading and playing and arts and crafts. Also, im open minded even though i didnt believe in santa, and holidays arent just "about jesus" its about family. But what ever well agree to disagree, cause your never going to convince me to teach ds santa is real and im never going to convince you that its okay not to teach your kid that

You are stuck on Santa. I am not. I am saying that teaching a child that there is an imaginary person that can do magical things (santa or not) is important. It teaches them that they might be able to do magical things and expands their outlook about the world. You could teach them about imaginary friends, but Santa is just part of the pretend world that I think is important. I'm not trying to convince you to do anything you don't want to or don't believe in. I just think that it short-changes the kid. 

How are you going to teach art or read a story when your kid is like, "well if Santa and the Easter bunny aren't real, then what about Peter Rabbit? What about the characters in this story? Why should we care about them? They aren't REAL." 

Once you ring that bell it can't be undone. Getting it to ring when you want to is going to be a chore. Creativity is a vital thing. It starts young and if you start squashing it will continue. The believably to make reading a story or creating an art piece stems from the ability to think outside what is commonly believed to be possible. Santa is easy for kids to grasp with that. 

You can use Santa for other things. "Would Santa want you to be naughty or nice?" Essentially you are thinking short term and limiting-- I'm thinking that there is a lot more good to be done with Santa than not. 

Team Make-Believe all the way. 

Coconuthead

We are going to do Santa but we will give a gift from us and a gift "from Santa", so he will get the Santa experience but still understand that people exchange gifts. My parents were very religious and raised me to not believe in Santa but emphasized the religious aspect of Christmas. I don't think it squashed my imagination to not have Santa. Also I am not sure how not having Santa or the easter bunny would discourage creativity since they are not products of the childrens imaginations but pr existing fantastical creations that are simply planted in the child, no more false or imagined to that child than anything else.However neither my partner nor I are religious so Santa is the way to go for us.

So I guess my ou is that a childs creativity and imagination encompasses only concepts and stories that the child comes up with ontheir own, imaginary stuff that parents come up with for their children is not the child's own creativity at work. I feel like a better way to ecourage creativity is to encourage children in whatever fantastical creations they conceptualize such as an imaginary friend...play along with them and let them lead with their own imaginations.

I think Santa and other fictional characters are fine and fun but I think it is wrong to say they are the basis of creativity or that a child's creativity will stagnate without them.

PrimRoseMama

Coconuthead said:

 I think Santa and other fictional characters are fine and fun but I think it is wrong to say they are the basis of creativity or that a child's creativity will stagnate without them.

---

I didn't say the basis. I said that it is an easy concept that fosters creativity. Again, if you start trying to "disprove" imaginary things early then it can hinder creative expression. Play is vital to learning and imaginary play (whether it be Santa, bunnies or fairies whateverthehell they want) is even more important. Santa is just a part of that. Its something fun to do over the holidays that encourages kids to think outside themselves and get creative. 

RoosterMemphis

I believed in Santa. I mean, I did do a lot of drugs at one point later on, but as a whole I think I turned out ok.

My UO: I think Aerosmith is the best band. EVER.

FeetFirst

My UO: I totally love all that Prim has to say about imagination and agree 100%, but also Santa is a freaking fantastic way to get your child to behave during the month of December! We love us some "Santa is watching through his elf on the shelf" threats in our house