Discipline FAIL--help!

jlbeanza

Hi all, my almost 14 month old has just started to really enjoy misbehaving/actiing out.  If I tell her no, whether it's "don't touch that cord" or "don't hit/bite mommy in the face" or "stop feeding the dog your entire dinner" she laughs her head off. I say no with a straight face, though she's so cute and funny that it can be really difficult. Has anyone gone through this? Any advice?

traveltheworld

We try to limit the number of things we say "no" to.  For example, if DS wants to take things out of drawers, touch the computer, climb on the couch, etc. - we let him.  BUT we have a pre-determined list of things he is not allowed to do (e.g. throw food on the floor, hitting the cats, hitting us, etc.) and when he does those things, he gets told a very firm "no" and if he does it again, we remove him from where he happens to be and make him sit somewhere else.  By that point he would usually cry and throw a tantrum, and that gets ignored.  Once he calms down from his tantrum, he gets lots of hugs and kisses.  Since we don't say "no" all that often, he knows we mean business when we say it and he generally listens.  We also re-direct a lot.

For hitting, I think he initially didn't understand the difference between hitting and touching.  I took his hands and showed him how to pat/touch gently while saying "gentle hands"; that took about a week but he now knows how to do it properly.  So when he hits now, we know he is being deliberate so that is not tolerated.

ASmallWonder

Try redirecting or using positive words instead of "no" and "don't."  Cords can hurt - let's play with a toy instead (move her away).  Hitting hurts, please use gentle hands.  

nawlinsgrl

I agree with PP, and can think of one recent example.  DD loves to open a kitchen drawer and take out a ziploc bag or two from the box.  Instead of telling her no or don't do that, I calmly ask her to put it back and close the drawer, which she does.  While I'd rather she not even open the drawer, at least I feel like this is a compromise I can live with.

If it's something dangerous or fragile, etc. that she can't have, then I make a point to redirect and focus her attention on something she can play with.  If she continues to fuss, I just wait it out, while trying to validate her feelings, i.e., I know that "object" looks like fun to play with but...

jlbeanza

Awesome, great advice everyone! Thanks!

allardr

Its hard, I found yeah its annoying when LO pulls tons out of cabinets and grabs stuff off the table, touches the computer, but if it's not totally a danger I try to just breathe and let it go. Thus limiting the "no"

cedenton

I'm at my wits in with hitting. I've tried "gentle touches" and showing him. I've tried turning away from him when he hits and ignoring him, but then he hits me to get my attention. I've pretending to cry but he thinks it's funny. I'm starting to wonder if completely ignoring the action when he hits me will help as it doesn't give him the attention he seems to want from it. I don't think I can do the same when he hits the dog, though. Getting a little frustrated, though. About time, I think, to break out the PNP for time outs (30 sec.).