SBR: What do you think?

dmlk413

I saw this article online and thought it was interesting. https://www.today.com/moms/women-should-start-having-kids-25-americans-say-poll-2D11577458  Evidently (based on some Gallup poll), 58% of Americans believe women should start having kids at age 25 or younger.  I am pretty surprised by this but am curious what you ladies think.

BunnyLove416

I'm a little surprised at the age but then I have to remind myself that it also varies by region, I've always lived around or in NYC so most people I know aren't having their first kid until they're 30, in fact almost no one I know is even married yet but my husband is from UT and most of his friends started having kids younger than 25. Either way doesn't really matter to me.

ETA I'm 27 (literally had to count that out...I'm so tired)

ohheyholly

BunnyLove416 said:

I'm a little surprised at the age but then I have to remind myself that it also varies by region, I've always lived around or in NYC so most people I know aren't having their first kid until they're 30, in fact almost no one I know is even married yet but my husband is from UT and most of his friends started having kids younger than 25. Either way doesn't really matter to me.

I agree with where you live effecting when you have kids. I'm from northern Ohio and most of the people I graduated with are married and have at least one kid. For me I was married at 21 and had DS at 22.

Monkeybutt80

Ummm I was not responsible enough to have a kid at 25.  I was still in school and in no way equipped to wake up at 5am every morning to have a little human attack my boob. We complained that McDonalds should extend their breakfast hours because we could never make it on time.  We married when we were 24 and 25 but at 25, husband and I were driving 6 hours to Atlantic City on a whim on a thursday night just because our home poker game ended early.  Guess that's why I waited till I was well into my 30s to have a baby.  I am sure many are perfectly capable of having babies early but I do think 25 or "younger" is a bit young.  But then maybe I am just one of those adult-child....  

tiffletons518

I'm with @FoxiLoxi on this one that I always knew I wanted to start young. And, I agree that where you live plays a big part on what "the norm" is. I was 21 when I had DD1 and 22 when I got married. My goal was always to be done by 30. Mission accomplished.

kari.sandall

I'm from Utah and had my twins a couple weeks before my 25th birthday. (Married at 21.) We struggled with IF and it took 3 years to get these babies. I agree it's a regional thing. There are a lot of young mom's here but my sister lives in Seattle, she had her son at 32, and is one of the first of all her friends to have kids.

Mufflerlove

I got married at 22 and had my baby at 23. Most of my friends with babies are 26-28. I think 25-30 is the norm around here.

dmlk413

I totally agree about the regional thing.  I have lived in 4 different states and it's different each place.  None of my CA friends have kids yet while most of my UT, AR and KS friends have at least one if not 2,3,4 or even 5 kids.  I think biologically 25ish seems like a good number but there is no way I was ready for a kid at 25.  I didn't even get married until I was 27 (am 30 now).

SilverEF

I'm from Long Island so suburbs of NYC. Everyone I know gets married late twenties and has there first kid 30-32. I was 26 when I got married and 30 when I had mister.

flerlgirl

25, to me, is a young average. That being said, I had J at 26 and for the next one I'll be 27. I think it just depends on the person. By 25 I think most people would be at least close to ready. There are always exceptions, though; many on this board who are younger and we're obviously totally ready.

peachnectarine

DH and I are all both 27. He comes from a small town, where most of the people he graduated with have been married for a while with one or more children. I came from the suburbs where the majority of people I graduated with are not married yet or just getting married now.

LiLi23

I was ready at 25.  DH?  Not so much.  We ended up waiting another couple years and I had M when I was 28, R when I just turned 30.  I really wish we had started when we were 25 and could have been done by the time we turned 30 (might try for one more).  But, we're still young enough, I suppose.

KellenHi21

I was married at 24, and had ds at 26. I was the first of my friends to get married and first to have a baby.

I'll be 27 next month

HeartLikeMine3

I had LO when I was 27, I always said I want to be done having kids at 30. I just want two and suppose that could still happen. I wasn't quite ready at 25 we bought our house that year and were still getting our ducks in a row.

KEK1025

25 and younger seems young to me.  I think maybe the younger part is what is throwing me.

I am from the northeast though where most of my friends at 30/31 are married but don't have kids.  My DH is from the Midwest and most of his friends were married right out of college and had at least one or two kids when we got married at 25.  I was 28 and 30 with our kids and felt like that was youngish but we were ready.  I completely agree that there are exceptions to any age bracket though.

jessykay87

I had just turned 25 when I got pregnant with R, and people thought I was too young. DH was 28. We are married, I have my degree and own a successful business. They still thought I was too young! 

kelly422

I wanted kids much earlier, but had to find the right guy first! I was 27 when we got married and 31 when I had J. I would have loved to have a baby right away, but I was still in my training program and knew there was no way I could do it while working 80 hours a week. DH is 5 years older than me and had a son from a previous relationship when he was 24 and he felt like he was too young.

Lizzybizzy80

I was 33 when we had B and still am. We would like to have a 2nd by 36. In my case I wasn't ready at 25. I was just finishing graduate school and still a little (lot) wild. My mom and maternal grandma had kids when they were on the older side as well.

I Love my Dave

I didn't meet DH until I was 25! Some of us don't meet prince charming right away esp where I live the men suck.

ChristyD6

Physiologically the ideal age is probably in the teens/early 20s assuming good prenatal care but emotionally/financially/everything else-ly the ideal age varies so much person to person. I was still in grad school at 25. Married at 27. Baby at 29.

IndyMomma

I was 29 when I got pregnant. I always thought I would have kids way earlier, but it just didn't work out that way. I didn't get married until I was 28 and we started trying pretty quickly. I think it is for the better though because I feel like I have a lot more patience and knowledge now than I used to.

amie444

I got married at 23. And 19 years later I had a baby. I guess it depends on the individual.

SJ7108

I think it depends on the person and their personal choices for what they want when. I was married at 20, bought our house at 24 and got pregnant right after (though we were trying when I was 23) DD was born when I was 25. I turn 26 in Jan.

ilovemarfa

I couldn't have imagined having kids so young. At 21 I had just graduated college and started my career. I took a job with the us federal government and was stationed in Toronto, Canada. I was living it up there and enjoying myself. I traveled extensively and dated but I wasn't really concerned with settling down. It wasn't until I moved back to the us, at age 25,
That I heard my biological clock start ticking and decided that I wanted to settle down and have a family sooner than later. I ended up marrying at 27 and havig my first son at 30 and my second at 32.

lioness13

Damn, I feel like the old lady in the group again. I turned 35 in August just after I had KJ. DH and I started dating when I was near 23 and didn't get married until I was near 30. Even though we were at a good place in our careers and had a nice home we did not want to have babies right away because we live away from our families and do not have that kind of support. Also, I went to grad school a year after we got married and just finished last December. I can't imagine being able to do that with a baby. Plus, most of the friends we went to college with are not married or are getting married now. The majority of the weddings that we attended before ours were shotgun weddings.

My DH's three close friends are unmarried and not in a rush to do so and they are 36. Only one of them is in a relationship that may lead to an engagement next year. I am African-American and some of you may have seen media coverage on the frustration of single black women. Unfortunately I don't think that marriage is valued as and important goal/Milestone in the African-American community by most African American men. Also, so many of our men are in jail, unemployed or not as educated as AA women are. And statistically, AA women are least likely to date outside their race. So AA men that are employed and have their shit together have their pick and generally decide to be players until they feel like they have to settle down. I could go on and on about this but I'll stop here.

If my friends had to marry and have a baby with the guy they dated when they were 23 or 24, the divorce rate would be 90%.

glitterbush

I agree that it's not my business to judge a woman for having a baby at any age, as long as she is mature enough and able to financially support herself and baby. I graduated college at 21, got married at 23, and I'm now 25. I think this is the perfect time in my life to have a baby, but that's definitely not the case for everyone. A lot of my friends my age are definitely not in a position to have a baby.

kaleyandjason

This is yet another thing for people to be Judgy McJudgersons about. I got married and graduated college at 21, but had Connor at 25. It was the perfect age. We own our home, travel, save money. Not everyone can do that, but I am not everyone and it worked for me.

riansmommie

I always said I would have at least one kid by age 21 and I had my DD 6 days before I turned 19. It was rough and a huge adjustment but I managed just fine. There are 7 years between my DD and DS and we aren't done, we will have 2-3 more, my goal is to be done by 32, but that means only 5 years to have 2-3 more kids. I agree that the norm just depends on where you are from. Most of my friends were all married with children by about age 23 (from OR), but my friends here in VA are just starting to have babies and they are in their 30's.

needanustart

I'm from NY and my husband is from the Boston area and I agree that it's definitely a regional thing. I think a lot of that also has to do with cost of living in that region. I knew I didn't want to have children until we owned our own home and buying a house in bigger cities is a lot more expensive than rural ones. I love kids and wanted to start earlier, but to realistically buy a house, both get masters degrees and secure good jobs in our fields before 30 was impossible. I was 30 when I had DS1 and 32 with DS2. All of our friends were at least 30 when they had their first. I also read that women who are older than 30 have children with higher IQs but I think that is more situation based than egg quality based. You are obviously more fertile in your early 20s.

PinkPuffyHeart2

I don't judge, but me personally, I wanted to do my own thing in my young 20's. I always thought I would get married at 26 and have kids some time after that. I got married at 30 (the day before I turned 31), and had LO 2 days before I turned 32. We want at least one more, but I'm in no rush.

lioness13

I'm the old one and I'm not in a rush either.

FordFalcor

I think I was just about ready at 26/27, when Lucy came along. However, a small part of me thinks having kids before 25 would have been easier in some ways. Maybe I would have had more energy? It could have been a tradeoff though, because I know for a fact that I'm more responsible and patient now than I was in my early 20's.

SLaBM2B

I wasn't ready until I found my H. Before him I didn't want kids

phishgirl29

Infertility laughs at your plans.....

That is all.