Pregnant and nursing

skibunny59

Hi Ladies,

I am still nursing my almost 20 month old DD and we just found out we are pregnant with number 2 (due early July).  I'm feeling ok so far but my boobs do hurt.  DD has been demanding nursing and I am just so exhausted.  She is still in our bed which I don't mind but she nurses all night long.  We tried nightweaning when she was 15 months and it just didn't work and we never tried again. 

My midwife told me that most of the time toddlers wean on their own when mom gets pregnant.  I don't know.  She doesn't seem to want to wean anytime soon.  If anything, she has become more demanding with it.  What has your experience been?  Also, if she doesn't wean than what do I do when the new baby comes?  I didn't plan on weaning her but now that I am pregnant and my boobs hurt, I would at least like her to not be nursing as much.

aglenn

Congratulations!!  My two are pretty much exactly the same age spacing and DD was still nursing (and in our bed) when I got pregnant with DS.  I did nightwean shortly thereafter and we got her transitioned to her own bed a little after her second birthday, which helped a lot.  I was just so tired, and she was finally ready.  She always hated the crib so we moved her to a full size bed with rails when we moved her.  The nightweaning wasn't so bad and I did it while she was still bedsharing.  I would just tell her that "milky" was sleeping and she needed to sleep, too.  I planned to do it gradually (limiting nursing to certain hours and slowly increasing the non-nursing time) but she really didn't object much at all and it was surprisingly easy.  She kept nursing during waking hours until my third trimester and then self-weaned, again surprisingly painlessly.  I thought she might try to nurse again once DS was born but she never asked again.

Every kid is different, of course, and there's no predicting what will happen, but I thought I'd share my experience.  Congrats again!

skibunny59

aglenn said:

Congratulations!!  My two are pretty much exactly the same age spacing and DD was still nursing (and in our bed) when I got pregnant with DS.  I did nightwean shortly thereafter and we got her transitioned to her own bed a little after her second birthday, which helped a lot.  I was just so tired, and she was finally ready.  She always hated the crib so we moved her to a full size bed with rails when we moved her.  The nightweaning wasn't so bad and I did it while she was still bedsharing.  I would just tell her that "milky" was sleeping and she needed to sleep, too.  I planned to do it gradually (limiting nursing to certain hours and slowly increasing the non-nursing time) but she really didn't object much at all and it was surprisingly easy.  She kept nursing during waking hours until my third trimester and then self-weaned, again surprisingly painlessly.  I thought she might try to nurse again once DS was born but she never asked again.

Every kid is different, of course, and there's no predicting what will happen, but I thought I'd share my experience.  Congrats again!

Thanks!  Yes we are also going to try to slowly and gently transition her to her own room.  We are getting a twin matress and we're just going to start by putting it on the floor in her room.  The idea is that I can lay with her and then remove myself once she's asleep.

You make the weaning sound so easy.  I have been telling her that nursies have yie yie(Spanish for boo boo).  During the day it has worked but nighttime is a whole other story.  Last night I had had it with the nursing and I finally told her  nursies yie yie and she kicked and screamed and threw a full on tantrum.  The only thing that calmed her was DH gave her a bottle of milk.

ncbelle

Callum was about 17 months when I got pregnant with Eleanor.  He was still nursing a LOT at that point but ended up weaning right before he turned 2.  I did nudge him in that direction.  He was already nightweaned when I got pregnant.

It's ok to set limits if you need to.  I would suggest starting with night weaning - get daddy involved and know that it will probably mean some tears.  As long as you (or daddy) are offering loving alternative comforts, that's ok!

Some toddlers will wean as supply drops; others won't.  I think if you want to wean or cut back, you should plan on making small steps to do so and not count on her doing it on her own.

barnwife

J. is 18 months older than A. and A. is 18 months older than S. (no ticker for him yet). Both J. and A. nursed while I was pregnant. I weaned J. down to only one session a day by the time A. was born. A., on the other hand, is still nursing 1938490232 times a day (okay it's only 5 or 6). 

I never thought I would tandem nurse, but it works for us. Neither J. nor A. ever seemed bothered by a change nor supply while I was pregnant. That's my way of saying that each kid is different and you won't know if yours will wean while you are pregnant or not until it happens (or not). 

It's absolutely okay for you to set limits. I am most likely going to drop A.'s midmorning nursing session soon. 

As for what you do when baby arrives, you keep nursing (if you want to). Baby always gets to nurse when baby wants to. And if older LO wants to nurse, you nurse them if you're okay with it. I highly recommend introducing a phrase like "mommy's milk is resting." When I tell A. that, it's easier for her to deal with not being able to nurse.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

boogerbearoriginal

Congratulations on the pregnancy! I highly recommend Adventures in Tandem Nursing - it's a great read even if you do decide to wean.

Regarding my experience, I too became pg with #2 at around 20m. I decided to night wean right around his 2nd birthday because night nursing was making me miserable. He took it in stride, despite being up every few hours to nurse. I simply told him that nursies were sleeping, and he fussed a bit and then went back to sleep. He never truly cried though initially. We've had a few set backs here/there, basically if I ever let him nurse at night it opens the flood gates so I have to be very strict and he is happy. We still bedshare BTW.

I know a lot of women report LO weaning due to changes in milk/drying up of supply but that has not been my experience. I work FT so during the week he only nurses am, before bed and occasionally when I first get home but not always then.  He used to nurse every day when I got home, but I don't beleive it's pg that's changed things just that he's gotten older. Hard to know for sure though. During the weekends, he'll ask to nurse throughout the day if we're home not doing much but if we're busy or out in public he rarely asks.  I was always open to tandem nursing when #2 arrives and now that it's getting close I see that being reality.

IMO there are two people to consider - mom/baby. If you're not happy with the nursing situation you can change it. LO may not like it, but sometimes that's how things go. And I don't think you need to make a decision now. Setting limits in terms of number of sessions and their duration may help you get past the initial discomforts.  GL!

drcolleen

I got pregnant with DS when DD2 was 15mo and nursing a lot during the day, had already night weaned though.  She continued to nurse well through about 16 weeks then it's like she forgot what she was doing, started biting me instead of suckling and by 18 weeks pregnant DD2 never asked again --- bitter sweet as I would have tandem nursed but then I couldn't handle her biting me either.  GL!