BFN after 3rd IUI- please share your story

badrianne

Our 3rd IUI is officially a bust. After the last failed cycle, I was pretty sure that medicated IUI's were not fixing our problem, whatever it is. Unexplained IF is so frustrating! Our next step  is to change RE's to one closer with a better rated lab. Plus my RE/staff has seen me breakdown and cry too many time that I am embarrassed to go back . We are going to move on to IVF which I've been mentally accepting this entire cycle. The only part I can't accept is the cost and the risk. Although our chances might be as high as 50%, that is still a 50% gamble of losing that money without a baby. 

Please share your thoughts/feeling around needing to start IVF and how you found the strength to move forward.  Also if you know of any clinical IVF trials, I'd be interested. 

ronniesgirl1981

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. While there are several IVFers who post on 3TC, you might consider a cross-post on IF to get some more insight. Good luck!

RunCC37

Sorry you find yourself at this point. We had three failed IUIs, a laparoscopy that didn't find much of anything, and a failed inject cycle (with a canceled IUI) before moving onto IVF. I also had a feeling early on that we were 'fixing' something that wasn't really the problem. And like you said, unexplained IF is incredibly frustrating.

IVF turned out to be pretty easy from a physical standpoint. Emotionally, however, I was not prepared for how hard it would be. But you just get through it one step at a time. Once you get started with the stims, it goes really quickly. Then it all comes to a grinding halt after ER while waiting for fert reports. The 2ww is even worse.... But somehow you find the strength to carry on.

You are stronger than you think. Good luck!!

katib77

there is a website whereyoucan search trials. Sorry I'm mobilr so I can't get it for you.

ErinSays

The point where we got the BFN and knew it was on to IVF was an incredibly low point. What cheered me up was my WTF/IVF consult appointment - my RE was very, very good at talking me off the ledge and giving me hope.

Does your new clinic offer a Shared Risk program? That money back guarantee really puts my mind at ease. We've all ready decided what to do with the money if we end up getting it back, so at least I can cling to that thought when I'm pessimistic.

hope2bmom83

I'm sorry the IUIs didn't work out for you.  I am not in your shoes yet, but we have already discussed this a lot.  For us we were too scared of risking the money for a 50/50 shot so we decided if our last 2 IUIs do not work we will move on to adoption.  However, if we ever win the lottery or find a long last relative who leaves us money then I will 100% be willing to risk it Good luck to you, I will be pulling for you!!

badrianne

My current fertility clinic doesn't offer shared risk. But we are "shopping" around, so I'll make sure to ask about it. It seems less stressful. Thanks

badrianne

I found the clinicaltrial.gov website. Thanks!

Twinkie0612

We moved on to IVF after 4 failed IUIs (1 with my OB/GYN, 3 with my RE) after 3 the odds of success from IUI starts to diminish. 

For us even being OOP, IVF was worth the risk (we have 2 failed cycles under our belt).  It was hard the first time I wrote the check out to pay for our cycle and it was even harder spending the money and coming out empty handed.  But there are no guarantees when it comes to having children.  Even adoption is not a guarantee.

Right now we are just focusing on doing whatever it takes to have a baby, we aren't ready to give up yet.

badrianne

Twinkie,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Multiple good intentioned, but ignorant friends/family have suggested adoption. I don't think they understand how hard adoption can be and it's not guaranteed. I think we are coming to the same point that you are at... where we will do anything to have a child.

Twinkie0612

badrianne said:

Twinkie,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Multiple good intentioned, but ignorant friends/family have suggested adoption. I don't think they understand how hard adoption can be and it's not guaranteed. I think we are coming to the same point that you are at... where we will do anything to have a child.

For us adoption is still on the table, I just want to experience pregnancy, so right now we are focusing on those options first.  I will tell you that it is hard.  My husband and I have made a lot of sacrifices to be able to afford multiple rounds of IVF.  So far we have spent over $35,000 and still don't have a baby. 

Naena

Maybe the new RE will be able to figure out the reason for your infertility. I had unexplained infertility and did three rounds of IUI. I wanted another opinion and the 2nd RE found an issue with my husband. Good luck!

Say1009

I'm sorry you are having to face this decision. We made a plan before our last IUI that we would either move on to IVF or save for adoption. I had a long, emotional conversation with my DH about how I need to do IVF before I can emotionally move forward with adoption. We had 6 IUIs and are currently on a break. I don't have any experience with IVF but the thought of it is very exciting for me. I just can't wait until we can afford to do it! GL with you and ((HUgS!!))

badrianne

I think I am starting to be excited about IVF too. At least excited that it might work . 

If it just wasn't so darn expensive!