Church

drunkindonuts

...or really any public place. I'm finding it really hard and frustrating to take dd anywhere lately. She's loud, throws food (or anything she has in hand), and just doesn't behave in general. H and I took her to church last night (admittedly the first time in awhile) and it didn't work out AT ALL. People were staring, especially this older women who was actually scowling at me. I can feel her eyes burning into my skin just thinking about it. We needed up walking out before the second reading. our church doesn't have a children's room or nursery or anything like that, that I'm aware of. I think I'm going to call over just to make sure. What do you guys do with church, or eating dinner out? Or is my child the only trainwreck haha

twinkletoes3126

My son is hit or miss. Last night was awful at the grocery store. He didn't want to sit in the cart or be held so than he started screaming. I ended up letting him walk the aisles and having my husband finish the shopping. This has never happened before and I am hoping it's not going to become the norm. He would never make it through a church service so you are not alone in that.

vic8504

DD used to be an angel in church, but we would always plan on going when it would fall in her time to eat her bottle. We would go and when she started acting up we fed her a bottle and she was good for the rest of the time.
Now that she is older and dosn't take bottles we haven't gone. Our best time is probably going to be Saturday afternoons but sort of nervous about going because we do not have a children's room either. Our priest loves the kids and noise but I always feel I am disrupting everyone.
I think the easiest way to fix the issue is to go more consistently so they get used to going.

drunkindonuts

vic8504 said:

DD used to be an angel in church, but we would always plan on going when it would fall in her time to eat her bottle. We would go and when she started acting up we fed her a bottle and she was good for the rest of the time.
Now that she is older and dosn't take bottles we haven't gone. Our best time is probably going to be Saturday afternoons but sort of nervous about going because we do not have a children's room either. Our priest loves the kids and noise but I always feel I am disrupting everyone.
I think the easiest way to fix the issue is to go more consistently so they get used to going.

That's exactly what we used to do too, but it's a failed plan now.  We tried snacks and toys and all Caroline wanted to do was rip the mass program.  I was hoping she'd adjust after being consistent with going, but after yesterday I feel embarrassed to go back.  You'd think people would be understanding and would admire younger parents bringing their children to church, but that wasn't the case at all. 

Thanks for your responses!

chefnicole22

She used to be good in church, but now she is horrible. We just don't go. She's fine in the grocery store or anywhere that she's not staying in the same spot for more than 5 minutes. 

drunkindonuts

chefnicole22 said:

She used to be good in church, but now she is horrible. We just don't go. She's fine in the grocery store or anywhere that she's not staying in the same spot for more than 5 minutes. 

So it sounds like we're not alone.  I'd like to go, but if she acts like she did yesterday it's just not going to happen haha

piphigirl

If we went to church, we'd use the nursery.  My parents church also puts services on a screen in the "gathering area" and a lot of families sit there so the kids can be kids.

We do restaurants very quickly.  Usually one of us get up and takes a walk with DD when she is done eating.  Other than that, we get a sitter so we can go out on our own!

sdlaura

Could you go to a morning service instead? DD is always much calmer in the morning vs. the evening.

amaite

I think it's asking too much of a 15 month old to behave through a church service, or a long meal in a restaurant.

skooz

Do you ever "practice" being still/quiet with her? It sounds silly, but how is she going to know what to do if you've never asked her to do it before? I'm far from consistent with doing this, but you can have her sit next to you on the couch and read or color or some quiet activity. Talk about how you're being quiet and sitting, then when she needs to be quiet she'll know what you're talking about. We go to church every Sunday and we occasionally have to take DD out, but she usually does pretty well sitting and looking at books in my lap. We started having her sit in my lap for the service (doesn't matter if she's coloring or reading or playing) when she was probably 8 or 9 months old so she's definitely used to it by now even if she's not always really wanting to do that.

LindsayDesigner

We sit together during the first hour of church and then one of us will take her home to nap. The other one stays the remaining two hours. Church goes from 1-4 so it's smack dab I. The middle of her nap time. In Jaunary it will change to 9-12 so we will stay the whole time.

When we go out to eat we make sure to bring puffs or Crunchies while we wait for the food. She does pretty well (knock on wood) and loves to look at other people from her high chair. I try to make an effort during the week to run errands with her. I think the fact that going out in public isn't a "big deal" helps her behavior.

cedenton

I'd look for a more family friendly church. When we go to church N stays with us for the first 15-20 min then he goes to the nursery. He can barely do that much.

rainedrops117

We started going to church more "regularly" in the last couple months. The nursery has been a complete fail every.single.time. since we started. He's a happy friendly social bug while I'm there, but the moment I sneak out, I'm getting a page not 5 mins later to return to a inconsolable baby. He doesn't go to daycare (DH and I have alternating schedules) so this is pretty important to me. The workers are extremely understanding (they are paid professionals) and just keep encouraging us to try again...

drunkindonuts

Island_Breezie said:

We started going to church more "regularly" in the last couple months. The nursery has been a complete fail every.single.time. since we started. He's a happy friendly social bug while I'm there, but the moment I sneak out, I'm getting a page not 5 mins later to return to a inconsolable baby. He doesn't go to daycare (DH and I have alternating schedules) so this is pretty important to me. The workers are extremely understanding (they are paid professionals) and just keep encouraging us to try again...

That's us, we have no daycare and alternating schedules too. I think dd would be a monster if we ever tried to leave her in a nursery too. Unfortunately our church doesn't have one to even test the waters haha

PaisleyRuth

We go to church every Sunday, but there's a nursery and they do great in there. Sometimes they're clingy as we leave but they get over it quickly. I think there has been one time in my almost 3 yr old's life that he sat with us through church, and he was sick and listless.