****Making a Home Smonday*** (Sunday/Monday)

KC1212

With the holiday season fast upon us I ask this question and am interested to see what becomes of this poll. It is an ongoing debate between my husband and I and it regards table settings during Thanksgiving.

So, if you participate in the holiday (if not, feel free to share what you do like to do or celebrate) is Thanksgiving dinner a formal dinner at your house? My Grandmother was always a holiday meal = formal affair (Thanksgiving or Christmas). That meant, starched table cloth, china, silver and crystal.

Whenever I have the opportunity to host my own meal that is how it will go down. I registered for our china with that purpose- the holidays.

As you can imagine I always miss the pomp and flair when I eat Turkey dinner with DH's family. The silverware and plates are plastic. To my intense delight, we are doing Thanksgiving with my mom this year (we swap every other year between families) and she is currently planning the feast with ALL the stops. 20 place settings of china and she was just last weekend polishing the real silver. She sets the table fit for royalty complete with candle -light. It is a feast.

So- should holidays be kept traditional or casual? 

My next question is: Does your family have a kiddie table? or do children dine with adults? I have seen it both ways but, I believe that for the most part children should dine with adults so that they can grasp manners early.  To this day- it is INGRAINED in me the following: I put my napkin in my lap and I do not start to eat until everyone has their food. I know what forks and knives to use and when.

So how does Turkey dinner go down for  you?

No snark please just friendly debate!

And Go.

kndeckar

Our family situation is pretty similar. My mom goes all out, uses real China, table is decorated nicely with linen table cloth, etc. She has tons of food. All very traditional. DH's family is much more casual. Not as much of a feast. No china or decorations. As for us, I can't imagine myself ever hosting Thanksgiving like my mom does. We are probably more like DH's family. Very casual. I don't own china. Maybe I will become more like my mom one day, but right now it just seems like a lot of work! I'm not very domestic...

And for the kiddie table thing...we have always had one just for the sake of space. I always liked the idea of kids having their own space.

KC1212

@Kndeckar I might be a little traumatized by the kiddie table experience. Growing up, when we ate Thanksgiving with my Dad's side of the family, my Granny would close the Garage door, turn on a couple of space heaters and I kid-you-not set a fold up table in garage for my cousins and I because she was afraid of spills, etc. haha.

pettycrocker

I like both. Well let me elaborate- I like all the fancy shmancy shit when we're going to someone else's house, but when I'm doing a holiday here, it's totally casual- like, go ahead and eat on the couch if you're so moved. Do whatever you want, be comfortable and enjoy yourself- I will provide real cutlery and dishes though- that is kind of crazy for a holiday meal! I could see if it was a 4th of July picnic outside, but plastic on Thanksgiving or Christmas? NO WAY. So real dishes, and paper napkins is my type of holiday LOL. 

No we do not have a kiddie table. 

KC1212

@Mrs Castillo I can handle real dishes and paper napkins.

Yes, it is plastic plates, cups, and spoons, forks, knives, etc. It drives ME NUTS lol

Jen071407

My side of the family is much more casual than MH's - but we do use real plates, utensils, etc and sit down together at the table. MH's family is much more formal, but not stuffy about it, kwim? MIL has special holiday dishes, but not "china," a table centerpiece, special tablecloth that was passed down, we do apps, good wine, etc. But we also are loud and rambunctious so it doesn't feel formal. DH and I are going more down that road, mostly because it's ingrained in him, and since he's the chef in our house (thank goodness!) he gets the final say. 

We don't do a kid table, but my DDs are the only grandkids so far and they're too young to be trusted by themselves so they sit with us. I bet when they're older they'll prefer a section of the table for kids since adults are "boring!" 

KC1212

@Jen071407

Your MIL's holiday style sounds very nice!

Yes, don't mistake my post to mean that we sit around in evening wear haha! But, yes, I feel like special measures should be taken. Holiday dishes, centerpeices, etc. but the plastic is killing me! Lol.

pettycrocker

KC1212 said:

@Mrs Castillo I can handle real dishes and paper napkins. Yes, it is plastic plates, cups, and spoons, forks, knives, etc. It drives ME NUTS lol

I can not even fathom that on a big holiday! There is a line between "comfortable casual" and "backwoods trailer" People need to respect that line. 

ally510

Our holidays are somewhere in the middle. We don't break out the find china & real silver, but the table is always beautifully dressed w/ a seasonal center piece, table cloth, cloths napkins, etc... As for a kids table, we had one growing up as there were too many of us to fit at one table. Now we fit everyone at one tabel though, so we don't have one. Kids table or not, manners have always been a big deal in my family. My grandparents were crazy about it and passed it down. That being said, I think you can have a little lovely table & great manners & still have a casual, relaxed atmosphere. That's what I aim for.

Jen071407

Mrs Castillo said:

KC1212 said:

@Mrs Castillo I can handle real dishes and paper napkins. Yes, it is plastic plates, cups, and spoons, forks, knives, etc. It drives ME NUTS lol

I can not even fathom that on a big holiday! There is a line between "comfortable casual" and "backwoods trailer" People need to respect that line. 

And it ain't a fine line! (yes, I know I just typed "ain't!")

chrissynena

Both of our parents holiday's are pretty casual. Real plates, silverware, and cups. The house I grew up in was pretty cozy (aka small) so there was a kids table for the nephews and niece, but only because they couldn't fit at the big table. A couple of years ago she moved a different house, seems like there is more room, but now all the kids are big and we all sit wherever. 

I love the idea of a formal dinner, but I don't think we would ever do it. My family is HUGE on manners (napkin on lap, please thank you, chewing with mouth closed, waiting til everyone has there food) so DD will learn that very early.

We've been to a friends house for Christmas before, and she gets all fancy with her table cloth and really nice matching place settings then white trashes it up with plastic silverware and cups. Lol

CeCe8579

My mom used to be very formal until she became disabled. We normally do Thanksgiving at my sister's now and we're all pretty country with the exception of my mom (she tries, bless her heart) so it's become more and more laid back. My DH's family is very informal, almost too much, haha!

There are also well educated and well mannered country people such as myself. They're not all "backwoods trailer". Whatever that means anyway. It actually offends me a little and I'm not easily offended. What I love about country people is that we can enjoy the simple things in life.

And yes, I say ain't from time to time!

CeCe8579

The responses in this thread actually really surprise me and not in a good way.

Jen071407

I don't think anyone is trying to offend anyone. Just expressing opinions.

KC1212

Iloveshanej said:

The responses in this thread actually really surprise me and not in a good way.

I apologize. It was not my intent to offend anyone. I'm located in KY (pretty backwoods) haha. Heck, I think horse shit smells good. lol. I don't know, I agree that country can equal simple. However, Ky can get a lot of stereotypes to it and most everyone here just laughs with it.

Anyway, it was not my intention to offend anyone. Please know that. My sincerest apologies. 

CeCe8579

Jen071407 said:

I don't think anyone is trying to offend anyone. Just expressing opinions.

Using offensive terms changes sharing opinions to being offensive.

CeCe8579

KC1212 said:

Iloveshanej said:

The responses in this thread actually really surprise me and not in a good way.

I apologize. It was not my intent to offend anyone. I'm located in KY (pretty backwoods) haha. Heck, I think horse shit smells good. lol. I don't know, I agree that country can equal simple. However, Ky can get a lot of stereotypes to it and most everyone here just laughs with it.

Anyway, it was not my intention to offend anyone. Please know that. My sincerest apologies. 


Thank you KC. I live in redneck country so normally it doesn't bother me, I think it was just certain contexts and stereotypical words that were used. I am a little sensitive today which doesn't help.

chusum

I am a traditionalist when it comes to Thanksgiving. Not sure where that came from, because I was actually raised in Panama.

I love having an overly traditional meal, why make it like every other day? Dressing up, and I even love traveling for Thanksgiving because I feel like that's apart of the day.

We go to my husband's parent's house because they are local and it's easy to go there every year. It's like every other meal, and casual. No real difference.

chrissynena

@KC1212 I wondered if you were down south when you said "granny". My family is from KY so I have a granny and papaw. You don't hear that where I live now. We call my dad papaw to DD, even though he is in heaven, so we can keep it going.

KC1212

@Chrissynena hahahaha. Yes, she is "Granny" to everyone even the Great-grandkids. It's just "Granny" lol. Now, for my mom's side of the family it is always "Grandma + last name" and they live farther up north. Yeah, I have family that can tell you the name of the pig you're eating lol.

freakyfast

Well, we used to do all China, and real everything, but the family was getting too big.  So my sister and I, when having dinner with our mother BEGGED her to use paper plates.  It took too much time to clean up, and we missed out on the day.  So we still use real silverware and glasses, and somehow my mother found plastic plates that look like real China, until you touch them, and we do use paper napkins.  

When we eat with our father, he uses all the China, BUT it is a much smaller group.  

No separate kids table either.  

CheesyPeas

My family has never done china.  We're disposable plates all the way because Thanksgiving usually has 30-50 people in attendance.  We have a huge family on both sides.  Some people do real silverware where as others do plasticware; it just kind of depends on whether the hosting family has buttloads of silverware.  I definitely don't view it to be low-class but rather a matter of necessity so that all of our family can spend the holidays together.  We always have several tables set up, and the kids typically like to sit together, so in that respect, there are kids tables but by choice.

KC1212

@CheesyPeas

That is ALOT of people!

CheesyPeas

KC1212 said:

@CheesyPeas That is ALOT of people!

Yes it is!  My mom is from a family of 9 kids, my step-dad from a family of 11 kids, and I married into an equally large family.  When most of my aunts and uncles have kids, many of the kids are married, and some of them have kids, it gets chaotic pretty quickly.  DH's family is spread out all over the country, so the holiday gatherings are quite a bit smaller.  My family is largely within a 2 hour radius or so of "home base," so the holidays are pretty busy!  I love it that way.  Big families are lots of fun.

KC1212

@CheesyPeas it sounds fun. I'm an only child and my side of the family is small-average. DH's side of the family is pretty big (my FIL has 5 sisters).

I excuse the plastic plates in your case - that is way too many dishes! Haha