Moms of 3+

That.Just.Happened

How is it with 3?  Due to how our insurance/deductible works, it has forced the issue a bit sooner than I expected and we are trying to decide if we want to have a third.  Not that we are getting ready to start TTC, I just need to decide whether to put in an IUD before the end of the year and it has made for some interesting discussion.   

Anyway, I would really love some perspective on what it is like with three.  I worry about how the world is essentially built for a family of four (booths at restaurants, rides at amusement parks, family passes to attractions, a regular sized car, etc).  I also worry about Nora being a middle child. I know these are probably dumb concerns in the grand scheme of things. But I would love some candid perspective. 

A more legit concern is how in the world can I handle 3?  That terrifies me, but I also think that after the first few years, you are out of the weeds, and then you have a lifetime to enjoy a big family.

Anyway, can anyone weigh in? Both pros AND cons?  I know no one likes to talk about the cons, but I also know that realistically they do exist.

Thanks, ladies!

shacadu

I worry about this too.  I think I'd like 3, but logistics, esp. thinking of when they get older and handling everyone's homework, activities, etc., scares me!  Plus the financial aspect of it too.  So I'm interested in hearing what others have to say, too.  

slwprincess

I won't lie, I'm pretty darn terrified.  For all the reasons you listed, plus my biggest one of all... parking lots.  I have 2 hands and there will be 3 of them.  I know I have to let go and trust that Gavin has enough common sense but I swear... it makes me twitch.  And oh my, Sophie as a middle child?  Yikes.  But then again, she is SOOOO excited to be a big sister.  I can't imagine not giving her that opportunity now that we've seen how thrilled she is.  Does that make sense?  Another big fear for me is that I had a REALLY hard time adjusting from 1 to 2.  Seems like most people struggle with adjusting to the first but Gavin just seemed to fit into our lives seamlessly.  I think that I probably had unrealistic expectations of myself with Sophie and I'm also pretty darn sure that I had undiagnosed Post Partum Anxiety so if I feel like that's happening again this time, I am more prepared to get some help.  But yeah, it's a scary thing... especially since we were kinda sure we were done and now SURPRISE.  I'm rambling here but anyway, one thing that my mom always told me was that you would KNOW when you were done.  Well, even though we thought we were done, I think I would have had that lingering doubt if DH had really gone through with the big V.  This time, I know my body can't handle a 4th pregnancy and c/s and I am totally at peace with this being our last.  Planning to have a tubal during the c/s and really kind of looking forward to not having to worry about bc anymore!  This is my last and I intend to steal every snuggle and soak up all that babyness one last time.  It will have to hold me over till grandchildren :-)

dleigh2020

No idea how it will work with three. I am nervous about it but I figure lots of families do it so it can't be that bad, right? I am just trying to talk myself into bc I am having number 3 in a few months;)

ebearwife

All the moms of three I know do great.  Maybe they are a little frazzled than moms of 1 or 2 but mostly that seems due to their personal personality.  One mom of six in my neighborhood has a legendary mess in her gorgeous home and her son roams around in the neighbor's garages (its an epic hot mess).  I am a drama queen so if I were to have three+ there would probably be yelling and chaos but cool cats who have their stuff together naturally seem to operate smoothly with 3 or more.  These women could probably end world hunger and bring about world peace if they weren't so busy being perfect moms.  Some moms of three or more that I know are flat bellies with no touch thighs so multiple kids don't seem to get in the way of their fitness and nutrition lifestyle.  I will probably never have three seeing as how my body has required surgery after surgery to correct the deformities of my two large pregnancies and not to mention the drama queen chaos and yelling stuff.  But there are times I think about "what if??".  I mean seriously, where would the world be without a little entropy?  Congrats to all you girls having your third.  You rock.

JulesDiane

I had a friend tell me after I had Brynn, "don't let 1 to 2 scare you, 2 to 3 is much easier!" I am pretty skeptical of that statement. I have been in music class with a few moms with 3 kids... they all had this glazed empty worn out look in their faces. I swear!

DH really wants another. I would love to have another baby, but I can't imagine being any more frazzled than I am right now with just 2. I also have many of the same concerns as you have mentioned. I really feel like as a family, we would be able to do so much more with just 2 kids. If people could just stop posting pictures of their adorably cute squishy babies, maybe I can power through my urge to have a third.

When it comes down to it, I think you just find a way to adjust... and once you have that 3rd, you could never imagine your life any other way. Good luck with your choice!

Mrs.Guz

Granted I'm only 2 months in and I don't know what it's like having just 2, but 3 has been freaking hard.

audreysmom08

We have 3  (5 1/2, 4 & 1).  The baby has been a breeze, going from 1 to 2 was MUCH harder for us. Possibly because the girls are only 17 months apart.  Our lives are pretty much crazy all the time because our girls are extremely high energy, so I guess now it's just crazy-er, but we're used to it so it doesn't really seem any harder. Many of our friends have started having a 3rd within the last year or so and everyone seems to be adjusting just fine.  This is my last baby so I'm really enjoying everything about it because now I realize how fast it really does go by and how quickly he'll be growing up.

care99

I'll be joining the 3 kid club in a few weeks and I'm actually not too freaked out.  There is some space between them this time, vs. just 23 months with 1 and 2.  My older son is in kindergarten and out of 14 kids, I think there are 6 with 3 in the family and they are all very positive about 3.  My biggest worry is still working.  My job is very demanding and 60 hour weeks are pretty much the norm, with some months closer to 80.  I am not sure I can do that anymore, so looking to go part time or find a less demanding job.  We'll see.  I'm really excited to have a bigger family - we didn't feel complete with 2. 

Mwalte4

We joined the 3 kid club just over two weeks ago and so far it has been easier than we expected. There are two years in between each of them, which is perfect because the two older ones play together, which makes it easier to focus on the baby and not constantly have to entertain them. We decided that this baby is the last baby because we'd have to get a bigger house and car if we went for four (and with our luck we'd end up with twins). This being the last baby for me is bittersweet, ideally I'd have a few more, but logically I know this makes the most sense for us. Best of luck in your decision, it isn't easy!

Daisy22

Going from 2 to 3 was by far the easiest transition. Preston just kindof fit in and just went with the flow. Going from 1 to 2 was a really hard transition for me since Bailey and Bryce are 15 mths apart (Preston and Bryce are 20 months apart) so that might be one reason going to 3 seemed like a cake walk. Of course Preston has become my wild child. Good thing I had him last b/c I'm not sure I'd have had another after him. 

There are definitely some harder things like doing simple errands can be a pain in the butt. For example running into/out of the dry cleaners is a pain since it takes me longer to get everyone in and out then it does to do the errand. There are days I'm exhausted by 8pm but for the most part things run pretty smoothly around here. One thing I've done with mine is schedule. We wouldn't survive without a schedule. All 3 boys go down for nap/quiet time around 2-230pm until 4-430pm every day. This was Preston's 2nd nap of the day until just recently when he dropped his morning nap. Bailey is allowed a few quiet toys, books and at the end of the time he gets to play with his ipad for a little bit. I don't think I'd be sane without this time each day. I also started running after Preston and I go running three times a week. It's a huge sanity saver for me. 

That.Just.Happened

Thanks so much for all the feedback, ladies!  Kudos to all of you surviving with 3+!

keg

I have three, and it doesn't seem bad at all.  Granted, I went from 0 to 2, so going from 2 to 3 seemed easy in comparison!  My big girls were also 4 when the baby was born so they are relatively self-sufficient and play together all the time.  Having only one baby seemed much easier too and she's pretty mellow and just goes with the flow.  Granted, she's never gotten on much of a schedule, since we're generally out and about on weekends, but it doesn't seem to bother her. :-)  Errands are a little more complicated, but I either try to do them without kids or go to places with drive thrus (like dry cleaners).