What ever happened to... (Also: James?)

brownmouse

the Mama with that sweet baby girl Violet who was thinking of changing her name to Lauren?

I've been wondering a while, and curiosity is getting the best of me, I just have to know if she changed her name or not!

Also, I met a baby girl named James today. That was strange.... The Mom said she thought it was a boy and they had decided on James and so when it turned out to be a girl (at the birth!) they just went with James anyways since they had been calling her(him?) James the whole pregnancy. Apparently next time they will opt to find out the gender instead of just going with the "I'm 100% sure its a boy" feeling....

That got me thinking. If you thought you were having a boy or a girl (like got the ultrasound and it happened to be wrong) and had been calling the baby a name the whole time, would you just stick with it when you had the baby and it was the other gender? I guess it would really depend on the name, but I am thinking probably not......

klgallup

My MIL is named Fredrick. I feel so bad for her. Her parents lost a baby boy(still born at 40 weeks) before her. They decided to name her the name for the boy. She hates being Fredrick and felt that her parents would have preferred their boy over her. She goes by Ricka by the way

klgallup

Sorry hit enter too soon

As for me, I think all kids deserve a name that suits them. I would come up with a name of the appropriate gender. When I name my children I picture their gender too. So I bond with the name and the gender. If the gender was different than I was expecting, I would have to change the name even if it were unisex.

kelley72

uhm hell no... but I'm a girl gets girl name girl and boy gets boy name..

cMichelle0423

That's a tough one... as creative and different as that sounds, you're right, it depends on the name! I think it also depends on the gender!! I personally have a "unisex" name but its more commonly used for boys. Growing up I felt like I had a boy's name and I hated it!! Now that I'm an adult I don't reallycare. regardless I think as parents we should also take into consideration how our children will feel about their names. After all, its going to be stuck with them forever! But I think in the situation you described, that could work because she could always girly itup by calling herself Jamie for short. Idk.. I think there's just a lot of circumstances to think about! With each of my pregnancies I always chose a girls name and a boys name well before I knew the gender. I guess that way if you get the opposite of what you were told you were having, you have a plan B! Or just do what my parents did and have a unisex name!

aeh72

No. Even though I don't mind some traditionally male names on girls, even if we had picked one of those names or a unisex name, it would feel weird to suddenly be using it on the opposite sex - almost like using it on an entirely different child. Nope, we'd start over and pick a new name and maybe consider using the name we'd been calling the baby as a mn.

But, I didn't once refer to our son by the name we chose for him until he was born.  That's always felt odd to me - not judging people who do that, but we just wouldn't be in this boat.

 

neverblushed

With my DD we couldn't tell the sex at the u/s.  I felt like she was probably a girl, but I realized that was completely baseless.  We called her "the baby" until she was actually born.

So, I guess the answer is, I would never be in this situation because I would never start getting emotionally attached to a name based on something as specious as "I just have a feeling it's a boy."

My H asked me to edit this.  He says, "You didn't tell the truth.  We didn't call her 'the baby' we called her Charmander."  He's technically right.  Our nickname for DD when I was pregnant was Charmander.  I stand corrected.

easilyunamused

I have a boys name, isn't unisex (I have never met another). My mom really liked the name and thought I was a boy. I really love my name, even though it has given me some issues in the past. Like one time I was denied by my insurance for my OBGYN visit because they thought I was a boy.  )

naflmj

Nope well, maybe with Rhys I could have changed to to Reese. I was supposed to be a boy named Dustin, glad my parents chose tonotuse that name when i came out a girl.

blu-eyedwife

We're team greeners (both past and future) so this would never be an issue.

But one of the women in my moms' group was told she was having a girl.....and delivered a boy.  They didn't give him the girl's name. 

I think - and I'm totally blanking on which poster makes a point of this (sorry!) that for some reason people find it more acceptable to give a girl a boy's name than to give a boy a girl's name.  Which is a little insulting, because of the implication that positive qualities are more associated male names than female.

brooksidebride

I remember the mama with a Violet that wasn't feeling it and wanted to change it too. I'd love to hear what she decided!

mh89

I've been wondering about the Violet/Lauren mom too!

If I found out that the baby was another gender I'd choose a different name. But I like to be prepared and go into the hospital with both a boy and girl name just in case.

saham07

brownmouse said:

the Mama with that sweet baby girl Violet who was thinking of changing her name to Lauren?

I've been wondering a while, and curiosity is getting the best of me, I just have to know if she changed her name or not!

Also, I met a baby girl named James today. That was strange.... The Mom said she thought it was a boy and they had decided on James and so when it turned out to be a girl (at the birth!) they just went with James anyways since they had been calling her(him?) James the whole pregnancy. Apparently next time they will opt to find out the gender instead of just going with the "I'm 100% sure its a boy" feeling....

That got me thinking. If you thought you were having a boy or a girl (like got the ultrasound and it happened to be wrong) and had been calling the baby a name the whole time, would you just stick with it when you had the baby and it was the other gender? I guess it would really depend on the name, but I am thinking probably not......

So if she thought it was a girl and picked the name Katherine, would she have named a boy Katherine, because they were already calling the baby that? I doubt it! I don't buy her story.

Scarlett&Gatsby

I've heard James on women before. There's actress/model James King, and way back when I used my other SN, there was a poster here with a DD named Charlotte James. This whole situation is weird, and like PP, I'm somewhat inclined to call bullshit. Also, like....here's the thing. When you "know" (or think you know) the sex, it's not like the kid's a name and that's it. They got used to calling the baby James, but also imagining his first [instert cliche little boy thing here]. Hypothetically, if we'd picked out a name that could go either way, I can't imagine using it on the opposite gender. If I'd spent the past 9 months picturing a little girl named Reese running around in pigtails and playing tea party with my other girls, I wouldn't be able to switch gears and think of it as a viable option for a son.

allardr

Would never be an issue for us. We always pick one boy & one girl name prior to finding out the sex. So even with a delivery surprise I'd just switch to our other name. It'd be strange but I'd never use the same name with gender change.

You'd think in her case they'd even just do Jamie...

ArmyWife114

allardr said:

Would never be an issue for us. We always pick one boy & one girl name prior to finding out the sex. So even with a delivery surprise I'd just switch to our other name. It'd be strange but I'd never use the same name with gender change.

You'd think in her case they'd even just do Jamie...

We do this as well.  I actually joked with DH while I was in labor about this kind of situation.  We wouldn't have used DS's name if he was a girl because we probably would have gone to Roberta and I think Roberta is terrible

dreemkin84

Violet or Lauren!?! I want to know too!

DanandVan

Right? I totally don't buy her story either! Call me cynical, but here's what I think went down. 1. Let's name our baby girl something trendy and unique,like James! So cute on a girl! 2. We are so sick of everyone asking WHY we named our girl a boy's name. Quick, make up a story for all the strangers that ask!
I could totally be wrong, but ya never know. Also, DH and I always had backup names for the other gender just in case.

jgengo0

Hi everyone! I am glad I went on the bump today haha! I have been away for awhile. I took all of your advice and decided to wait it out since she was "new."  She is growing more into her name, Violet, everyday!  Dh named both girls so I am glad I didn't take that away from him.  However, he really liked Lauren too. I still like Lauren, but Violet is really starting to fit her.

thanks for thinking of of us!

Irishcurls

Aww yay!!! So glad you came back! I missed your gorgeous siggy. Glad to hear Violet is growing into her name, wishing you guys the best!

brownmouse

jgengo0 said:

Hi everyone! I am glad I went on the bump today haha! I have been away for awhile. I took all of your advice and decided to wait it out since she was "new."  She is growing more into her name, Violet, everyday!  Dh named both girls so I am glad I didn't take that away from him.  However, he really liked Lauren too. I still like Lauren, but Violet is really starting to fit her.

thanks for thinking of of us!

Oh, I am glad it all worked out. I feel like most of the tie if you feel uneasy about a name your child makes you love it because it belongs to them. So glad you kept Violet as her name, I always thought she looked like a little Violet. And that is great DH named them both. My DH couldn't name anything to save his life.

stahlop

Not buying it either. We were team green and had a boy and girl name picked out, even though I had feelings about he gender both times (an I was right both times).

My former babysitter (from when I was a kid), was told she was having a girl (this was back in 1992, so u/s not so common). She had all girl stuff and and the birth announcement ready and everything, and she ended up having a boy. I guess he's lucky mom didn't name him Ashleigh Nicole like she was going to name the baby.

JayJay1212

When I was little I used to tell people that mt full name was James, I thought that would have been so cool. Needless to say, as I have grown up I am glad I am not James (though several people nn me that.) At least the girl James will be able to go by Jamie.

Keri Marie

We found out the sex at our AS appointment for both kids and while they told us "it's a girl" and "it's a boy" for each of our kids, we had a back up name for the opposite gender each time... just in case.