PAL Check In

Mrs Nice

Welcome to Friday PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.

I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!

Where are you in your PAL journey?

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

QOTW: Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Heatherhah

Where are you in your PAL journey? It has been 2 years and almost 2 months since Sydney died.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Trinitys first birthday

QOTW: Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How?losing Sydney made our relationship much closer. I have no idea what I would do with out him.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just trying to get through this month with all the birthdays this month.

Mrs Nice

(((BIG HUGS))) @Heatherhah. I know too well the bittersweetness of a rainbow baby's first birthday. I hope you can find some peace and are able to celebrate Trinity's birthday without too much grief. I can't believe she is almost one already!! Happy early birthday baby girl!!

Where are you in your PAL journey?

Over 2 1/2 years since Ian died, Zachary is almost 21mo, and baby #3 is due in May. I still think about Ian every single day and it still hurts but it has gotten easier.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

Zachary is going for his first ever sleepover at my parents house tomorrow night. I'm excited to have the night with DH but I'm anxious and scared about it. Z has always done well at the sitters and has never had any issues with me leaving him... until the past two days. I don't know what is going on with him but he has been super clingy the last couple of days. I'm glad my parents live only 5 minutes away!!! I'm also scared of the silence that will be in the nursery while he is away. After Ian died, that's all I could think of was how quiet that room was and how there should be a baby in there. I'm worried of this painful reminder and I know that even though this will be my one chance to relax and sleep in that I won't be able to.

QOTW: Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How?

In a lot of ways we are closer but it is hard and stressful at times.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I think I covered that already. ;-)

stefuge

Where are you in your PAL journey?

It's been just over 2 months since we lost Colton; our older son, Landon, will be 3 1/2 next month

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

I started back at work this week, so it's back to juggling parenting, and work, and housework, and time with DH, along with still trying to find time for myself to write or cry or chat with ladies on here, all of which I feel is important for my own healing.

QOTW: Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How?

I feel like it goes back and forth. The first couple weeks we were incredibly close, but then we started to grieve differently, and that has been a little hard. We've started doing grief counseling together, which has been helpful.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Getting ready for Colton's memorial this next weekend.

stefuge

@Heatherhah - hoping you enjoy and celebrate Trinity's birthday without too much sadness.

@Mrs Nice - thinking of you tomorrow night with your little man out of the house. He must be so excited! Not to mention your parents - mine are pushing for sleepovers with Landon all the time!

karebear57

Where are you in your PAL journey?

It's been 2 years and a month since Bri was born still.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

Well this one I face daily, when they're off at school. They walk and it's not real far but I still worry about them. I keep thinking since I lost our girl while she was supposed to be safe inside me then something could really happen to my boys. But the most recent was a few weeks ago they slept over at their aunt and uncle's. I always feel lonely and worry about them. Especially if my sister picks them up at my house. I always text about an hr later to see they got there but she never responds right away or at all and I worry the rest of the night. I suppose I should talk to her about that one of these days...

QOTW: Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How?

Like a pp said, the first few weeks we were really close. We don't nearly as much as we used to anymore though and I can kinda talk to him more about issues we have.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

The holidays. She should be 21 months, almost 22 months old. I think the holidays are gonna suck, a lot, the rest of my life. I used to love listening to Christmas music (only during DECEMBER!) I can't listen to it anymore so it makes it real hard to go Christmas shopping.

karebear57

karebear57 said:

Where are you in your PAL journey?

It's been 2 years and a month since Bri was born still.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

Well this one I face daily, when they're off at school. They walk and it's not real far but I still worry about them. I keep thinking since I lost our girl while she was supposed to be safe inside me then something could really happen to my boys. But the most recent was a few weeks ago they slept over at their aunt and uncle's. I always feel lonely and worry about them. Especially if my sister picks them up at my house. I always text about an hr later to see they got there but she never responds right away or at all and I worry the rest of the night. I suppose I should talk to her about that one of these days...

QOTW: Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How?

Like a pp said, the first few weeks we were really close. We don't nearly as much as we used to anymore though and I can kinda talk to him more about issues we have.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

The holidays. She should be 21 months, almost 22 months old. I think the holidays are gonna suck, a lot, the rest of my life. I used to love listening to Christmas music (only during DECEMBER!) I can't listen to it anymore so it makes it real hard to go Christmas shopping.

It should say we don't fight nearly as much.

Heatherhah

Thank you ladies!!!

Jansheski

Where are you in your PAL journey? I am 2 months into my PAL journey has we have lost our 5 month old son 2 months ago.  My oldest son will be 2 in December.

 What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Trying not to let my emotions run my life.  My other son still needs me and I need to be there for him.  I am back to work full time and I am just drained at the end of the day, sometimes its hard to not be sad and its so easy just to turn on the tv and watch shows with him.

 Has PAL changed your relationship with your SO? How? Yes we have both become a stronger couple because of this and we work as more of a team when it comes to raising our oldest son.