Why me?

stefuge

So, I haven't had a full on break down in a while, at least not in public. But yesterday, it happened. I had to get some blood work done for some genetic testing we are having done to determine the possible cause for our loss, and while sitting in the waiting room, two pregnant ladies walk in for their glucose tests. I avoided looking at them as much as possible, and tried to just focus on my phone, my book, anything else, but it was hard. I just kept thinking that only a few months ago I was there, having my glucose test done. I just ached to go back in time, back to having a big belly, and the biggest complaint was having to chug the sweet orange drink for that test. After having my blood drawn, I quickly hurried out the door and back to my car with tears streaming down my face. Thankfully the sobbing didn't start til I was in the car. I'm really not sure why seeing those women was so hard - I have seen pregnant women out running errands or at the park, etc, and not had that reaction. I just kept thinking how I was there to have blood drawn to tell me what may have killed my baby, and they were there to have blood drawn for their healthy, living babies, and it just wasn't fair. Why me? Women have babies all the time, every day, why do I have to be the one whose son was stillborn?

kz's_girlygirl

I am so sorry . And I'm also right there with you- I would drink an ocean of orange syrup to have my baby back and I know you would too. I don't know why all of us here are the 'unlucky' ones. It just plain sucks!!!

Days in the dr office I think are especially hard bc they used to be good memories, but now it's just sour and scary.

I hope you're having a better evening , and that you get some answers. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts

VyD81

Hugs. I'm sorry you had a rough day. Every time go to my OB, I cry all the way home after. I thinking of switching dr, I just can't see myself go back to the same office.

CRUN2012

I'm so sorry you had a bad day. It totally sucks that we are the ones who this happens to...and it makes it worse and makes us feel more isolated when it looks like everyone else is able to have babies with no problem.
I hope tomorrow is a better day. Hugs to you!

BrittianyM

I am so sorry. Sending hugs your way!

stefuge

Thanks ladies, for the encouragement! It helps knowing there is a place to come and be encouraged and understood.

mingaling2

Just reading this makes me want to cry. I don't know why it's us that have to go through this. I'm so sorry you had to have that experience. Hugs to you, friend.