Intro and Completely New to the World of 3rd Party Reproduction

Twinkie0612

It looks like DH and I are being thrust into the world of 3rd Party Reproduction, so I thought I would intro. It is all still new and we are still working out our plan, but if you don't mind I would like to hang out here and learn from you ladies.  So here's my story:

DH and I started TTC in August of 2011 and nothing.  In August of 2012 I saw my OB/GYN did my initial testing and one round of Clomid + IUI In October 2012, BFN.  I decided to move on to a RE and scheduled a consult for December 2012.  I didn't care for this RE and her plan of unmonitored Clomid + IUI and got a second opinion in January of 2013, with my current RE.  January through March I did more testing.  April 2013 I did an unmedicated IUI and then May and June I did Clomid + Trigger + IUI cycles.  All BFN.  In August of 2013 I did IVF #1, it was a huge failure., 6R 5M, 3F all were slow growing and poor quality, none made it to transfer (my clinic pushes embryos to day 5 blastocyst transfers).  We regrouped and did IVF #2 in October.  We had 8R, 7M, 5F and 1 made it to early blast for transfer.  I got my BFP, but sadly it ended in a chemical pregnancy.  Today was my WTF appointment and my RE is not recommending that we cycle again.  He feels like we would be throwing away money.  Right now he has thrown out the options of adoption, embryo adoption, donor sperm, or donor eggs.  He is going to pass our file on to another RE for a second opinion and he has thrown out the idea of doing some genetic testing to try to figure out why our embryos aren't growing, but it looks like our path to parenthood might be through a 3rd party.

Right now we are considering either donor eggs or embryo adoption.  My sister has offered to donate eggs when we first started IF testing/treatment, but I think DH would be more comfortable with an anonymous donor.  My clinic recommends the NEDC for embryo adoption, which we've discussed as an option as well.  We have another follow up with our RE in 2 weeks to discuss testing and our treatment options.

Mrs.McIrish

I was just reading your post on IF. Frankly, it seems like your RE isn't very good. A protocol change etc can make a huge difference in embryo quality. Where are you located?? I saw you have IF insurance? Can you travel for treatment?? Obviously I'm all for DE as I'm doing it but I have a hard time believing you need them at this point.

Twinkie0612

Mrs.McIrish said:

I was just reading your post on IF. Frankly, it seems like your RE isn't very good. A protocol change etc can make a huge difference in embryo quality. Where are you located?? I saw you have IF insurance? Can you travel for treatment?? Obviously I'm all for DE as I'm doing it but I have a hard time believing you need them at this point.

I sent you a PM.

Mrs.McIrish

Back at. You

Twinkie0612

I replied.

Lacyj67

Welcome ! I also agree that if you feel ready to move to DE this quickly good for you but I would explore some more options before you completely go that route!!! There are options and I would explore them! Otherwise good luck and ask any questions you may have everyone is so great here and knows so much!

happywifemomofone

I'm glad that you are listening to your RE, But you may want to consider a second or third opinion first. We completed IVF 3x before moving to DE, with 2 additional cancelled cycles. My RE did suggest DE very early on, but we had to see for ourselves where things would go. We also had insurance, which dictated which RE we could see (not exactly ideal). Good luck, feel welcome to hang around here and learn about 3rd party repro.

Twinkie0612

happywifemomofone said:

I'm glad that you are listening to your RE, But you may want to consider a second or third opinion first. We completed IVF 3x before moving to DE, with 2 additional cancelled cycles. My RE did suggest DE very early on, but we had to see for ourselves where things would go. We also had insurance, which dictated which RE we could see (not exactly ideal). Good luck, feel welcome to hang around here and learn about 3rd party repro.

Thanks. Part of the issue is the fact that we are OOP. I would love one last shot at OE, but I am not sure it's worth throwing away another $15,000. Right now DH and I have talked and we are going to wait and see what our RE has to say at our appointment in 2 weeks. Then we'll decide if we want to seek a second opinion or move on to donor egg or embryos.

Km672

I'm so sorry for all you have been through... It's awful.

I've been there, my history is in my siggie. When my husband and I started this journey, we never imagined we would gone this far to have a baby...but we are still committed.

Just know, it feels like the end of the world right now, but it will get easier.

BeckyP005

Hugs Twinkie0612. I have no advice since I went straight to DE due to my age but just wanted to say good luck at your appt and hope you can come up with a plan that will bring home your baby.

xmaystarx

Hi and welcome. I can understand how being oop may contribute to your decision to use DE or not but also think a second opinion may help you feel more confident in either decision.

liz4paws

Welcome to the board!

brooklynesque

Hi Twinkie.  I posted on your thread over on IF but just wanted to say welcome and to reiterate that I thought it would make a lot of sense to get a second opinion.  Good luck as you move forward!

ladyrader0227

Welcome to the board - I hope your appt in 2 weeks goes well and gives you some peace of mind.  I'm sorry you are going through this struggle!