INTRO and very anxious

LaterMama

1. Your Name or Screen Name ( not full names)  and State you are from
latermama from boston, ma

2.   How long have you been TTC? 
this is my first cycle, so less than one month

3.  Where are you in your cycle? If in the 2ww  when will you test? ( Waiting to O, 2WW etc)
10dpo. period's due sunday. will test on monday if i don't get it.

4.  How do you feel about this cycle? (Are you hopeful, anxious... etc)
i'm feeling pregnant

QOTW:
Thanksgiving is in a few weeks! What are your plans this year?
going to a friend's house with the hubs


SO glad i can finally post on here! i've been going crazy this week. i'm 38 and was certain i didn't want kids until a chemical pregnancy in march. my husband and i are married just one year (together for 5.5) and decided we'd stop using protection since the early miscarriage shifted our thoughts. i'm also adopted so have NO blood relatives. this contributed to my change of heart as the clock's running out, so to speak.

here i am within our first cycle of no protection and i'm feeling very pregnant! i have weird aches and cramps all over my stomach. ridiculous fatigue–nearly crippling as i can barely stay awake for more than 3 hours at a time. i have mild nausea, a steady headache, specific cravings, and loss of regular cravings. if i'm pregnant already, i'll be very thankful, but honestly, very freaked out. i've had to research all these acronyms you all use just to understand what people are saying in here :-) i have no clue about anything baby and it's a bit overwhelming...

SO GLAD TO VENT! i can't tell anyone anything and it's tough not drinking as our social lives have cocktails involved most of the time. and they keep giving me the underage cups when my husband pretends to get me a vodka tonic. heheeee HALP!

dajhughes

Hi @latermama - I am so sorry for your loss earlier this year.  Welcome to the board and thanks for the intro.  

You may also want to check out TTCAL (Trying to Conceive After a Loss) board - definitely you should read the blog for the group as it as a wealth of information regarding TTC - I refer to it constantly and I have been TTC for years!  It also has some helpful tips about etiquette and board culture that will help you join in the communities here.  Here's the link to the blog ... clicky

FX that things work out for you this cycle!

PrivateOne

Welcome! FX crossed that your hunch is correct and you get a BFP

Randomness....I'm adopted too and lived in Boston area many moons ago for about 10 years. 

Wishing you all the best!!

ksgsmu

Welcome! So sorry for your loss..

If you have symptoms you will have enough hormones to turn a test positive.  Hope this is your month.  Try not to get too caught up in the symptoms... phantom symptoms are a beyotch. They happen to us all and it can be depressing and frustrating.  They change every freakin month too just to mess with us.  The month I actually got pregnant I had 0 symptoms. Hope yours are the real deal-  good luck!

LaterMama

Thanks so much, ladies And good tips. I feel like I need to go old school flash card with the acronyms. Hehee. Gonna look up FX next!

I've heard about phantom pregnancies and have been wondering if that's what it is. If so, it'll be crazy! But stranger things have happened fo sho.

PrivateOne-are you working on your first, too? My adoptee friends have said there's nothing like finally seeing yourself in another. I can't imagine but hope I'll find out!

rubysi

I am 38 as well and I know the change in desire for a child. I didn't think much about having a child until I got pregnant. It ended in a mc. I am sorry for your loss. 

 Welcome and I hope your stay is short.

PrivateOne

@LaterMama ... yes, working on our first too.  This is both my hubby and my 2nd marriages so we've had a late start. We got married when I was 37 and foolishly thought we had plenty of time to start trying. However, have not been successful in the 4 years we've actively trying with and without help.  The stats are certainly not good for me at my age, but I will never give up hope. 

I can't imagine having a mini me. As you know as an adopted person, we go through life not really looking like any family members.  I did search out and find my birth mother, though. We met a few years back and keep in touch from time to time. It's funny because now that I know what she looks like looking in the mirror will never be the same for me because I see her in me now, kinda freaky.    

Are you still feeling preggers?  I hope so! FX that you get your BFP soon.

latershrader

Welcome! FX = fingers crossed. Don't worry you'll get the hang of it!   Let us know what happens!

Lady2010

Welcome and good luck!  Fingers crossed that all works out well!

Am also in Boston - feel free to reach out if you have questions on RE, acupuncturist, etc in the area.

gscoville

As PPs (previous posters) have said, try not to drive yourself crazy reading into possible pregnancy symptoms - as soon as you switch to the mindset of trying to get pregnant, it's like every. little. thing your body normally does gets magnified and a hundred times more noticeable and significant. Progesterone, which your body produces after you ovulate, causes many of the same symptoms as pregnancy does - nausea, fatigue, weird cramps, peeing more frequently, etc. are all things that both Progesterone and HCG (the pregnancy hormone) can cause. And ultimately, if what you're feeling so intensely is truly related to being pregnant, that means you should be able to turn a test positive - HCG, the hormone that the tests read, is the same hormoone that would be causing those symptoms.

So, for your sanity I would highly suggest taking a HPT (pregnancy test). I'd also recommend that if this isn't your cycle for a BFP, you should get an account with Fertility Friend, do the free tutorials there, get a BBT thermometer and some cheapie Wondfo OPKs from Amazon, and start charting. At our ages we don't have the luxury of time to play around, so charting to pinpoint when we ovulate so we can try to have the best timed sex possible is fairly important. You can click on the My FF Chart link in my siggy to get to Fertility Friend, signup is free and you'll learn a ton from the tutorials there.

One last word of advice if you do decide to hop on over to TTCAL - please please PLEASE read the newbie blog linked to at the top/in the first post on the page before posting, make sure to post an intro first, and DO NOT list your symptoms and ask if you could be pregnant. That board is a wonderfully supportive place for those of us who have experienced heartbreaking loss, and so there are certain rules and etiquette details that are in place to protect our hurting hearts. Asking if you could be pregnant, or even jumping in as a stranger with a laundry list of symptoms and implying that you think you might be pregnant is a no-no. If you must talk about symptoms, there is a thread posted daily called Crazy Train where you can ask about what you're experiencing. It's a great place as long as some of the niceties of the community are observed, and we welcome all women who need a safe place to go to heal after a loss.

LaterMama

sorry for your loss, too, ruby. and privateone, i can't imagine what it'd be like to meet my birth mother face to face. i think i might be freaked out... i hope it was a good reunion. i've heard of so many negative ones. alas, it's an experience very few adoptees get.

as it turns out, i'm NOT pregnant :-/ i was either suffering from the ignorance of a newbie or mc'd early again. the flow was very heavy and early–both are weird for me. i don't know... it's strange because i think it's a good thing for me to have more time getting used to this whole ordeal. but i oddly miss the idea of a little dumpling growing inside me.

i've decided not to join TTCAL because my chem pregnancy never got too far along. i don't think i'd be able to add much to that group and also fear i'd end up saying the wrong thing. i did read that blog, though. thanks for sharing it with me. all good things to keep aware of and the last thing i want to do is unintentionally cause others pain!

now at least i get to know you all a little longer and go through this experience with others. yay, internet!

PrivateOne

@LaterMama - Reaching out and meeting her were very emotional times. However, I am so glad I did it. It has given me a better understanding of who and why I am who I am.  Thankfully for me it was a positive experience and I feel so sorry for those that do not have a positive one. I'm sure it could be devastating.  For me, I pursued it pretty vigorously as I began to learn of my fertility and other medical issues.  I knew I needed to get more biological knowledge about myself and this would be the way to do it.  I also had feelings that I could be running out of time to reach her as I was getting older and of course she was too.  I didn't want to have a situation where I discovered I could never reach her if she had passed on.  So, I just knew I had to try.

If you ever want to PM me about any of this or anything else, please feel free to. I know it is very personal, but sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to who understands.

chucktgirl

Welcome! I also didn't want children for a long time. I guess it took marrying my wonderful husband, later in life, to change my mind. It's not the easiest age to begin TTC, but that's just the way things turned out. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you will be successful soon!

LaterMama

thanks, everyone wishing the best for all of you.

things have been weird here. my period is a week early this month and very heavy. not to be gross, but also clotty. i don't know what's going on–if i'm getting early menopause (i'm 38), continuously miscarrying, or what! and my doc can't see me until january so i guess i have to wait it out. 

i know it's probably too early to worry, but given my age and the sudden weird periods, i'm nervous about how to deal with the reality that i may not be able to conceive/carry a baby. i think i'll be okay... my husband says he would be but i really don't know. we've been getting more into the idea of having a baby as time goes on as it's still a new decision for us. trying not to stress much bc i know it's counterproductive. eeks!

hope you all had a nice thxgvg break.