Wow, just wow...(NSAIFR)

kmc84

Sorry for more b!tching..... I just need to vent (sorry so long....)

Here is the backstory: we decided to have a very small, laid back christening for A, hopefully on 11/17. We are meeting with the pastor tomorrow, so no true date yet. Because of that, we have not told anyone yet except the godparents and my one BIL. This BIL can't make the date and told DH that he was ok with it. Here is the text I got a few hours ago:

"You and (DH's name) need to open your eyes.... Other people want to be a part of this special day ....(like me) and you guys make it impossible for me to go... And you say oh well!!!.... It's sad... I don't know what you guys are thinking but your making a special day really shitty for a lot of people!!!"

WTF!?! I was so hurt I was in tears in the middle of the store. DH is at work still, so he hasn't seen this. He is going to be SO upset and angry. I guess he doesn't remember that DH and I were unable to attend his son's christening because we were in a wedding. Life happens! When you have a huge family you can't expect everyone to be available. I have always gotten along so well with this BIL and I was so blindsided by this. I don't even know what else to say......

TJ1979

But I thought he said it was ok and to go ahead? If so, he's not allowed to complain. Those are the rules.

Just like when mh asks if he can go to a happy hour when I really need him at home to help with something. If I'm being a B and try to say "oh yeah, that's FINE, I'll just stay home by myself and do ALL the work while you go play with your friends." Technically I can't be mad bc I said he could go. Even though everyone knows a woman's FINE does not mean fine.

Not that this happened to me recently or anything.

Sorry you are dealing with this crap. He's the one trying to ruin a special day, not you.

Dragonfly1226

So does he expect you to consult every single person before you make any arrangements? He had a chance to say something in person but instead said he was okay and then sent this text later? That is a shitty move. I am so sorry hon. I hope your BIL comes around.

kaf7

Ugh. I wouldn't want him there after that. Who needs that kind of energy at what is supposed to be a happy event? Hugs.

Mrs.AmyDylan

I'm sorry. I hate when others try to make your kid's stuff all about them. I'm sorry he upset you and I hope it doesn't ruin the special-ness of the christening.

 Ps- i would give you a puppy if you told him that he was a d-bag to his face!

kmc84

Thanks ladies I still am in shock. Honestly, if that text came from my MIL or my one SIL, I wouldn't have blinked, but from him?!?! I never expected it. There is always drama surrounding family stuff with them, but this is a low blow.

We are going to stick to our plan. 11/17 is my birthday, and we are approaching the two year anniversary of my mom's death and my mom's birthday was close to mine, so it is a meaningful day for me.

I can't wait to hear what my IL's have to say tomorrow when we call to invite them. If any of them have anything negative to say, I'm not entertaining it for a second. I'm done biting my tongue and just taking it. DH and I have been together for 13 years and I have put up with a LOT of crap.

@Mrs.AmyDylan , that's almost enough incentive to do it! We will see how feisty I get tomorrow thanks for the laugh!

IBackBevo

GEEZ! What is it with people? I think the moon must be in douchebag mode because it seems to be bringing it out in people.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I totally get you being hurt.

imoverit

So annoying. You do you and dont worry about him. He will come around.

JBDamonM

@kmc84 - let me just say I TOTALLY GET THIS.

DH and I have been  horrible about getting LO baptised. It's been put off for many different reasons. Finally, we went ahead and set a date of January 18th. We didn't consult anyone. At this point, we just need to do it, and honestly are OK with people not being able to make it. As you said, life happens. DH has a huge family - and truthfully losing a few bodies in the count wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

WELL, wasn't I rather shocked when MY MOTHER told me she can't make it b/c she has to work that day. Yeah, she works a M-F office job. Apparently there moving her office that day. Note - my mother is 65 and retiring next year, but I"m so glad she can't duck out of her work move for AN HOUR to watch my first child get baptised. (I apologize - that's my own tyrade

That being said, I'm not changing the date. I agree with you, life happens. M needs to be baptized and we're never going to find a date that works for everyone, which is why we didn't ask people for their availability. I know my situation is a little different,  but just like I hope my mom comes to her senses, I certainly hope your BIL does too. Your daughters baptism is about HER, not him. And I also hope your DH wasn't too upset about that text message.

HUGS.

JBDamonM

kmc84 said:

Thanks ladies I still am in shock. Honestly, if that text came from my MIL or my one SIL, I wouldn't have blinked, but from him?!?! I never expected it. There is always drama surrounding family stuff with them, but this is a low blow. We are going to stick to our plan. 11/17 is my birthday, and we are approaching the two year anniversary of my mom's death and my mom's birthday was close to mine, so it is a meaningful day for me. I can't wait to hear what my IL's have to say tomorrow when we call to invite them. If any of them have anything negative to say, I'm not entertaining it for a second. I'm done biting my tongue and just taking it. DH and I have been together for 13 years and I have put up with a LOT of crap. @Mrs.AmyDylan , that's almost enough incentive to do it! We will see how feisty I get tomorrow thanks for the laugh!

Do we have the same in laws?!?!?!

kmc84

@JBDamonM
We might I feel for you! I just don't get all the dramaaaaaaaaa! I hope your mom can take the time to be there for your daughter.

JBDamonM

kmc84 said:

@JBDamonM We might I feel for you! I just don't get all the dramaaaaaaaaa! I hope your mom can take the time to be there for your daughter.

Normally my moms behavior would have me up in arms - but this time I strangely don't care. We need to baptise Molly, and I just want it done. If that means people can' tmake it, so be it. I didn't think this thought would pertain to my mom - and hope she'll make the right call...

I hope your LO's day turns out perfect