Expected baby shower date approaching....:(

irons633

This Saturday will be the date of what was supposed to be the baby shower of my baby girl. I am just getting to a certain place and now I have to get myself together to handle this weekend of what should've been a day to be happy and celebrate what was supposed to be our impending arrival of our daughter. I am just over all of these triggers and it just seems like they will keep approaching. My 2 year anniversary is on the 12th which should be a happy time but it's hard because after our coming back from our first year anniversary last year we found out we lost our son. My baby boy EJ angelversary is the 21st of this month. I just need this month to be over as quickly as it started. Truly hoping my therapist can help me with coping skills to handle these triggers. How have you ladies handled triggers? Thank you for listening to this vent...

PerkyErky

***siggy warning***

Big big big (((hugs))). I am sorry this month is so difficult for you with so many days to be aware of. I hope this month goes quickly for you.

diamante1181

I hope this month flies by. So far when I think of my would-be baby shower, what I'll do on the edd, mother's day, etc. I literally just cry. Then I journal. I also write letters to my babies. That seems to purify my soul a bit. Big hugs to you.

stefuge

***LOticker*** I was really nervous about our EDD, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. We planned stuff all day to stay busy, and a lot of what we did was fun rather than spending the whole day sad and thinking of Colton. T and P for your rough days ahead.

irons633

Thank you ladies!!! @diamante1181 I have been journaling and also writing on my blog. I do write letters to my babies and a lot to my daughter lately. I am hoping I get thru this month with as little breakdowns as possible.

VyD81

I'm sorry that there are so many milestones you are facing this month. We're here for you. Hugs.

kz's_girlygirl

I am so sorry this month is so difficult!  Lots of hugs and love to you!  I hope it flies by for you.  If I can't avoid triggers altogether I just try to tell myself that the world keeps turning- even when I think it should stop!  Life goes on around me, and in my mind, I don't want to miss out on living mine.  It sounds cheesy, and doesn't always help, but sometimes it does. 

Dh and I have also really clung to one another.  He is truly my rock, and I know that our life together and the love between us is something to celebrate.  Without it, we never would have had Jesse, even for the short time he was here with us- and Jesse's life, as short as it was, is something the celebrate as well.  I hope you and your husband are able to enjoy yourselves and each other, and remember that the pain you feel from the loss of your babies ultimately comes from love- and love is always something to cherish and celebrate.  . 

BrittianyM

Sending hugs!

princezjk

BIG (((HUGS))).  Triggers are tough.  I have noticed though, that those I anticipate are usually easier than the ones that come out of left field.  Sending you lots of love for this difficult month.  

JessicaG220

I remember how you're feeling. My shower date was 3 weeks after we lost Ava. It was a tough day. But DH and I spent the day together and we made the most of it. It really helps to have someone to lean on! Lots of hugs, hun!

CRUN2012

I'm not sure if this is helpful or accurate as I have not had any triggers so far...but from what I've read the anticipation of upcoming important dates is actually worse than the day itself. I'm sure its because we build them up so much in our minds and try to imagine how great it would still be to be in that bisfully pregnant state. And then I think when the day finally comes we have been thinking about it so much that we don't really feel any worse.
Like I said this may not always be true...but I'm sure it sometimes is. One thing I've found is talking about it really helps. Most people get sad and feel uncomfortable when I talk about my pregnancy and loss but I have to remind them that, even though I wish the outcome had been different, my pregnancy and my son were really good and happy things. It also may help give hope that the happiness can occur again.
Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts during this tough time!!

cawettig

My therapist helped me a lot, she used emdr training with me. I had triggers everywhere, what helps with emdr is that you go through the moments with the therapist (you have to relive all the pain again though) while you are going through it they have you stop do rapid eye movement and think of something that brings you happiness/relaxation. It helped me by not completely loosing my mind when I encountered a trigger. I was still able to function and see the trigger without loosing it. It brought down the pain levels.
I hope that this weekend goes by fast for you, sorry this month is so hard (((hugs)))

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY***



There's so much going on at one time for you...I'm so sorry. My shower date for Devon was two weeks after he was born sleeping, and I tried really hard to stay busy. I did break down at the end of the day, but I made it through.

I still have some triggers, and I make it through by shutting my eyes, taking a few deep breaths and just trying to clear my head. I wrote A LOT the first six months after losing Devon, and that helped get my feelings out - which I really needed to do. Sending lots and lots of hugs.

irons633

Thank you to each and every one of you!! Had my first therapy session and it went well for as a PP stated I'm anticipating the days ahead to be very emotional but when they come I will handle them differently. My lovely DH surprised me and said this weekend we will be going to Disney!!! A place I've said I wanted to go. It's to help me with this weekend as well as to celebrate our anniversary!! I will be sad but only for do long because I will be at the happiest place on Earth!! I will think of my daughter while we are on this trip and I may get sad but I will also enjoy this trip with the man who allowed me to have two beautiful angels!