Toddler Resources

henrytviii

Any books that people really like on dealing with toddlers? We've always gone with our gut but I think DH and I would benefit from a book that addresses common toddler issues. I'd like to know a little more about toddler's brain development and what our 16 month old is experiencing. DS is a generally a happy kid, with boundless energy.  He's still non-verbal, has the beginning of only 3 words (aaa for "hot", fff "for food", wff for "woof") and he's trying very hard to communicate with us with signs and sounds but this is huge source of frustration for him.  He's starting to throw himself on the ground and have tantrums when he doesn't get his way.  We also have some issues with hitting and throwing all types of toys. It not all the time and it nothing that I think is out of the norm for a toddler but I'm looking for simple, calm ways to address this and help him get back to his usual happy self with this happens.  I'd prefer a book but website or article suggestions would be great too.  I know there's no magic book out there that can tell me how to parent my kid but I'm curious what others have found helpful.

hay1122

try teaching him some sign language.  I did with DD just for fun as she already says a few words.  She's very food motivated, so I made her some Mac and Cheese (her favorite) and taught her the sign for 'more.'  The next day she was holding her hand up to me when I had a bag of craisins and I taught her 'please.' Now she does 'please' when holding her box of crayons or playdoh and I know she's telling me what she wants to play with.  

Mrs.RockyM

We have what to expect the first year, and I have a few friends who liked Toddler 411. 

As for toddler 1-2 years, the biggest source of frustration for them is communication.  You'll find a lot of tantrums are over that.  Sign language (or baby sign language) can help out a lot.  We do the basics at home and at daycare, "more" "milk" "please" "thank you" "done"

traveltheworld

I really like "Bringing Up Bebe" for its general philosophy - that is what we try to abide by.  The "Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" has good practical advice for certain issues.  Some of my friends recommended "The Happiest Baby On the Block" but the technique mentioned in that book did not work with DS at all.  In fact, it had the opposite effect and he got VERY angry when we tried to use "toddeler-ese" with him.  Every child is different so you really need to just experiment and see what works for your child.  You can probably get all of the above from your local library and see which one you like first before you buy it.

I also second the recommendation for teaching him simple sign language.  We started that with DS at 6 months (only tried to teach him how to sign "more" and "all done"), but he didn't get it until 15 months.  Then all of a sudden, he got both; so we taught him a few more and he can now sign "please", "thank you", "sorry", "water", "food"; which has been very helpful.

traveltheworld

Oh and I know you didn't ask this, but I thought I'd mention it anyway - I was originally quite hesitant to teach DS sign language because even though all the research suggest otherwise, I somehow wasn't convinced that teaching him how to sign would not slow down his desire/ability to talk.  I'm happy to say that I was wrong.  DS (almost 16 months) really started to try and talk in the past few weeks and has about a dozen words, so signing hasn't had a negative impact.  He also frequently talks and signs at the same time.  Signing has come in handy for those words that are hard for him to say (like "sorry", "please", etc.)

henrytviii

Funny that everyone went right to sign language.  That's definitely my strongest tool right now.  We started at 6 months, gave up around 14 and have gone back to it in the last few weeks.  He's using all the basic signs (more, all done, food, book) consistently, I think I need to teach him more. I suspect he'll pick up on them quickly. He is also trying to talk when he uses a sign but without the sign we'd have no indication.  Other than the food sound his words aren't clear enough. I taught him the "patience", not the sign just verbally and that has been a lifesaver.  He know that it means "you will get exactly what you want, you just have to wait a little while for it."

I looked at happiest toddler on the block but didn't like the toddler-ease either.  I am using some of those techniques in a modified way. I read bring up Bebe when I was pregnant, perhaps I'll revisit.  But I think everyone might be spot on with the sign language and I might just keep doing exactly what I am doing at add signing. 

Pedi is aware.  He's meeting other communication milestones so just keeping an eye on it with no action planned until at least his 18 month appointment.

RoryorHenry?

I hardly ever post as I'm mainly a lurker but I've really liked Positive Discipline the First Three Years. I feel like it gives you some good tools for dealing with a frustrated toddler. Playful Parenting is also great and while it isn't targeted at toddlers I have already found it very useful.

And I really love the signing so definitely keep it up. We started with most of the meal time signs like more and all done and dd wasn't getting them. Then I tried bird since she loves watching birds outside and she got it right away. It seems like they can pick up signs quicker if there is a genuine interest so maybe try adding signs that you wouldn't have thought of doing but that he is interested in. Our daughter loves animals and playing outside so while she still doesn't sign all done or more which we have worked on for months she signs horse, dog, bird, cat, pumpkin, bubbles, shoes, and swing. I really think following their lead with regard to interests cuts down on frustrations.

drunkindonuts

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

Nicb13 said:

Have you asked the pedi about him being non verbal at this age? Just curious. Sorry, I haven't read any books so I'm no help Still going with my gut on most things.

Nonverbal is normal for a 16 month old.

Our pedi said they expect 8 words at 18mo, but there is usually a verbal explosion around the 17-18 month mark, later in some babies.

Not according to my pedi


Mine either. A baby should be able to say at least 2-3 words other than mama and dada by a year.

I just counted DDs words (she's 16 months), and she says at least 30 words. She also says a few two worded sentences.

drunkindonuts

theresat858 said:

shana+chris said:

Nicb13 said:

theresat858 said:

Nicb13 said:

Have you asked the pedi about him being non verbal at this age? Just curious. Sorry, I haven't read any books so I'm no help Still going with my gut on most things.

Nonverbal is normal for a 16 month old.

Our pedi said they expect 8 words at 18mo, but there is usually a verbal explosion around the 17-18 month mark, later in some babies.

Not according to my pedi

Mine either. A baby should be able to say at least 2-3 words other than mama and dada by a year.

I just counted DDs words (she's 16 months), and she says at least 30 words. She also says a few two worded sentences.


Wow isn't your child special?

I don't consider 2-3 words other than momma and dada to be "verbal"...or even the 8 that are expected at 18 months.



Wow, okay theresat858, what crawled up your anal cavity and died? You sure are chipper. Verbal is in relation to an expression of WORDS, so 2-3 words, 8 words, or 30 words all equals a child being "verbal". I don't consider my child special, I consider her normal. My point was the OP to recognize that she may be seeing a delay so she can consult with her pedi about it and get some direction. I don't think anyone needed your rude lash out.

ashiscute

I have a child that was nonverbal at 16 months (and I mean no words and no sounds beyond "eh" and generic dada baba type babbling).  Trust me there is a huge difference between that child and my other one who has about 8 words at 14 months.  You might not consider 8 words verbal theresat858 but I promise it is.  

OP- I definitely recommend signing with your son.  Once my daughter realized that signing could actually accomplish getting her needs met she just lit up.  I will never forget the first time she signed "more" spontaneously and received more.  She was so excited it that it actually worked.  Words followed not long after.  I don't have any suggestions on books for that age though.  sorry!

henrytviii

Normal/abnormal . . . who cares? Yes, my son is technically behind some of his peers verbally but I'm sure he's ahead in some other areas. Kids are different.  I'll watch him carefully and get him help if he needs it in the future but just because he doesn't say 8 words and can't call me "mama" I'm not sure we should label him as abnormal or delayed just yet.  I think the only thing its fair to label him is frustrated!

I agree 8 words is definitely verbal in terms of the amount of communication it allows.  8 signs will accomplish the same thing for us.  We have 3-4 mastered, and I think we'll triple that by next week.

drunkindonuts

henrytviii said:

Normal/abnormal . . . who cares? Yes, my son is technically behind some of his peers verbally but I'm sure he's ahead in some other areas. Kids are different.  I'll watch him carefully and get him help if he needs it in the future but just because he doesn't say 8 words and can't call me "mama" I'm not sure we should label him as abnormal or delayed just yet.  I think the only thing its fair to label him is frustrated!

I agree 8 words is definitely verbal in terms of the amount of communication it allows.  8 signs will accomplish the same thing for us.  We have 3-4 mastered, and I think we'll triple that by next week.

I wouldn't say he's abnormal at all! Kids are completely different. I'd make sure you're pedi is aware, and (s)he'll probably be able to help you with resources. Sign is great if it works..I got frustrated myself with sign haha

ashiscute

henrytviii said:

Normal/abnormal . . . who cares? Yes, my son is technically behind some of his peers verbally but I'm sure he's ahead in some other areas. Kids are different.  I'll watch him carefully and get him help if he needs it in the future but just because he doesn't say 8 words and can't call me "mama" I'm not sure we should label him as abnormal or delayed just yet.  I think the only thing its fair to label him is frustrated!

I agree 8 words is definitely verbal in terms of the amount of communication it allows.  8 signs will accomplish the same thing for us.  We have 3-4 mastered, and I think we'll triple that by next week.

I wouldn't label my daughter as abnormal either although she is delayed.  I think the fear of these labels and the stigma is what stops people from helping their kids earlier.  The fact that your son is frustrated by his lack of communication is a great sign to you.  Have you tried the "baby signing time" dvds?  We get them from our library and both my kids love them.  They are about 25 mins each and are filled with cute songs and little kids doing all of the signs.  I know some people are anti-tv for this age but these are super helpful for you and your kid to do together.