What have you done?

Tigger & pooh

I already have a good idea of what people would say they would do in this situation but am wondering if anyone has already gone through this. We are due with our 3rd on dec. 11th. Depending on when she arrives we may or may not join our extended family for Xmas. The problem is one of my brothers and his wife will be traveling from out of state for the holidays. They are heavy smokers. They will only smoke outside but always reek of smoke. When he was here last week for a funeral I commented that I don't know if we will be coming to family stuff this year and he said that's ok they can drive to us to see the baby. That's very nice but I don't know if I want him or his wife touching the baby. My dad said I need to do what I feel is best but I should let them know in advance. So would you create a family feud over a one or two time holding of a newborn by someone who stinks like smoke or let it go? Sorry that got long!

Tigger & pooh

I am not close with him but have thought about this option. It isn't too bitchy right?

JackoftheBox

I asked my mom and dad to bring a change clothes to the hospital for when DS was born. I knew they would both be nervous and chain smoke while I was delivering. They had no problem with this and actually my mom said she had already thought of this!

FF to today. Sometimes DS says "NO YUCKY" when my mom goes to kiss him. It's because of bad smokers breath. I find this rather amusing and often think "See mom, even an 18 month old recognizes it!! I'm not just nagging you!"

Tigger & pooh

Ok thanks. My brother annoys the crap out of me so I like to get as many other unbiased perspectives as possible. I think I will let them know ahead of time just in case they want to be offended by it and not visit.

EVA116

I smoke and I change my clothes and shower after each smoke. I would not smoke , even outside, around other people's children.

That being said, I think telling them to change their clothes or wear a jacket isn't bad at all. I tell my sister to do that. She usually holds the baby for a while and then after she smokes she usually doesn't pick him up anymore.

 

Tigger & pooh

EVA116 said:

I smoke and I change my clothes and shower after each smoke. I would not smoke , even outside, around other people's children.

That being said, I think telling them to change their clothes or wear a jacket isn't bad at all. I tell my sister to do that. She usually holds the baby for a while and then after she smokes she usually doesn't pick him up anymore.

 

These two have about as much common sense as a rock and smoke at least once an hour. On top of that my brother loves babies and kids so he loves holding them. We will see how it goes over.

ILoveBoys

Maybe you can find out their sizes and have an extra shirt ready for them? Or provide a blanket for them to drape in while holding your LO.

LoveActually4

I don't think it's bitchy but IMO this is not something you need to address beforehand.

The holidays are hectic, babies are often early/late and plans change. Unless you're 100% sure they're coming to visit and going to be handling your baby I would not bring this up with them until then.

Once you're sure they're coming you can just explain that your pedi has asked you to ensure baby isn't exposed to any smoke at this young of an age and if they could change/shower first, that would be great.

aforst

LoveActually4 said:

I don't think it's bitchy but IMO this is not something you need to address beforehand. The holidays are hectic, babies are often early/late and plans change. Unless you're 100% sure they're coming to visit and going to be handling your baby I would not bring this up with them until then. Once you're sure they're coming you can just explain that your pedi has asked you to ensure baby isn't exposed to any smoke at this young of an age and if they could change/shower first, that would be great.

I like this.  Throw the pedi part in there.  I think addressing it ahead of time is the right thing to do.  If it's that big of a deal to them, then they probably won't come.

Tigger & pooh

Thanks everyone these are great ideas!