Loss date anniversary

Burberry0421

I lost a baby last August at just about this day exactly, and I am struggling. I wasn't knocked on my ass last night like I have been, and I panicked. I started to feel better around this time but it was because the baby had died. I usually feel queasy as soon as my feet hit the floor and I just feel a little off. I'm so scared that it's going to happen again at the same time and I will lose twins this time. I hate my history - I can't ever just relax into a pregnancy. I second guess everything. It drives my husband crazy, but I don't know what to do about that. How can I just relax?! History is working against me. He thinks I should be feeling quite happy, but I don't think I will be until I'm well out of the 1st trimester. I'm tempted to call my OB, but I don't know what to say them - "Hi, just being a crazy mom over here, and I want reassurance because I'm nuts."

jocie2581

I am so sorry. Pgal brain is tough. I know my ob was happy to do a heartbeat check for me if I needed.

daisy19782011

I lost a baby at 20 wks in jan and am now 31 wks with very high risk momo twins so I know exactly how you feel. Take it one day at a time. ..there will always be hard days. It is sad that pgal makes it so hard to just enjoy pregnancy but that is our reality. I will be thinking about you!

JoDoc

My sympathies on your loss.  I can only imagine the worry you are going through.  I think if you talk to your OB and explain your worries they'd be willing to do a heartbeat scan. 

Don't take your feeling better as a sign of things going wrong with your pregnancy.  I'm not saying to totally stop worrying, that'll never happen.  Maybe you are feeling better because things are going better.  I'll pray that's the case.  Call your doctor, see if they can do a scan to make sure things are going ok.  And for the record, you're NOT nuts!  You are normal.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  Please keep us posted!

Burberry0421

@joDoc They called & said "come on in." They are so wonderful. Unfortunately, it's an hour drive, but it's worth it to me. I don't mind the drive.

NBA0703

I am sorry!  It sucks to have a pgal brain : (  I didnt realize you posted this and I just posted basically the same thing.  I wish we could just fully enjoy it!  Please update us and have a safe drive !

hgrosch

I agree call your doc, they probably will schedule an us for you. Also, I purchased an at home Doppler to get me through our loss date (16 wks) it really helped me. (Hugs)

cukimerrydoll

I feel you on that one. This is a rough time of year with my former pregnancies: my first miscarriage and the due date from my second miscarriage are both this week. So, I've been thinking about our first two babies a lot, and I'm really scared they're going to find something bad at our first appointment with the perinatologist next week.

So, you're not nuts at all. The anxiety and stress from this pregnancy and the tragic outcomes from the first two have prompted my husband and I to talk about this being our last pregnancy.

Burberry0421

@cukimerrydoll Oh, absolutely. Even if I were only having a singleton, I don't think I could do another pregnancy. The stress & anxiety that goes with all of this is just too much anymore. I'm glad I'm having 2 because my husband wanted 3 kids and I'm glad that it was decided for me, but yeah, this is plenty. Plenty of kids, plenty of pregnancies.

Kershnic

I had two (very) early losses before my current pregnancy.  It has made me ssooo paranoid in this pregnancy.  At one point in 1st trimester I became convinced that my slight nausea was decreasing and I freaked out hysterically crying because I was so convinced I was having a miscarriage.  So far so good now at 18w1d....  Symptoms can really go up and down, but it's very normal to be scared when you have a history of loss.  I hope your doctor's visit was helpful.