Other toddlers pushing

silvie25mar

My baby is 19 months. My heart breaks if she is just looking to play and a bigger kid pushes her. I'm not sure how to act or what to say. But when it happens my heart just breaks into a million peices

g8trkim

Toddlers push each other. There's nothing wrong with nicely saying "Gentle. No pushing." Try not to judge because at some point you will be on the other side of this... trust me.

mommymegan831

I really try to avoid saying things to other kids, I always just take my kid somewhere else.  As they get older and can speak better I try to help them to speak up for themselves, but I really don't appreciate other people say thing things to my kids, so I try not to correct others, although I also make sure I have an eye on my kids even if I'm not right next to them so if something does need to be said I'm the one who can step it.

Be very careful about judging too.  Last summer my DD ran ahead of me to this spinning thing, it took me a minute to get there because I was pushing my baby in the snap and go that doesn't go so quickly at a park.  When I got there another mom was starring her down and then, with me standing right there, said something to DD about taking turns.  I just asked DD what happened, she told me she was there 1st, so I had her ask the girl if they wanted to spin together.  The girl just whimpered so I took DD to do something else.  The girl decided she wanted to be on the swings when DD was there later so the mom and I made some small talk, she seemed pretty mortified when I told her DD was 2.  Because she's so tall everyone always thinks she's atleast 2 years older, which as a mom can be really frustrating when your 2 year old is acting 2 and people think she's just a 4 year old brat.

DawnLilly

It depends on the age gap. A four year old pushing a two year old I would say something right away. We are in a very small community where it is common for all parents to parent all children. On the other hand DS is 17 months, just learning the true meaning of share. He tried to take away his cousin's toy, she is 23 months. She bopped him on his head and said "No you share" and wagged her little finger at him. He just looked taken aback. She did not hurt him, just got his attention. Moments later she handed him the toy and said "Henry's turn now" I never interfered. Some social norms are best taught by their peers. I agree with PP that it is not bullying at this age, just an inability to express themselves.

g8trkim

LalaMama81 said:

mommymegan831 said:

I really try to avoid saying things to other kids, I always just take my kid somewhere else.  As they get older and can speak better I try to help them to speak up for themselves, but I really don't appreciate other people say thing things to my kids, so I try not to correct others, although I also make sure I have an eye on my kids even if I'm not right next to them so if something does need to be said I'm the one who can step it.

Be very careful about judging too.  Last summer my DD ran ahead of me to this spinning thing, it took me a minute to get there because I was pushing my baby in the snap and go that doesn't go so quickly at a park.  When I got there another mom was starring her down and then, with me standing right there, said something to DD about taking turns.  I just asked DD what happened, she told me she was there 1st, so I had her ask the girl if they wanted to spin together.  The girl just whimpered so I took DD to do something else.  The girl decided she wanted to be on the swings when DD was there later so the mom and I made some small talk, she seemed pretty mortified when I told her DD was 2.  Because she's so tall everyone always thinks she's atleast 2 years older, which as a mom can be really frustrating when your 2 year old is acting 2 and people think she's just a 4 year old brat.

Meh, it takes a village and all that. If I'm at the park and one kid isn't taking turns (at the 2 year old age) I will step in gently. I'm not going to yell at another kid or put them in time out, but I'll say, "Hey guys let's take turns," blah blah blah. 

I don't think you do your kid any favors by always removing them from hard situations. 

This is what I was thinking. I've had a situation where DS pushed a little girl at the mall playground. Of course, I immediately got onto him and had him apologize, which he did. The woman just picked up her kid and left. It really bothered me. He was 2! I'm not sure what she expected but I felt like taking her kid and leaving was a total overreaction. I wouldn't have thought anything of it if she would have nicely told him to be gentle or be careful, but saying nothing and leaving was just rude.