Late Term and Child Loss

Missing my baby

I am missing my daughter so much!! It's been just over two weeks and I am still trying to fight with this guilt that it wasn't my fault but that is so much easier said than done. I will be speaking with a therapist to help me understand that I can not blame myself but that is difficult to do when you child is perfect and you know that it's your body that failed your child. I so want to try right now for another baby but I do know that, one isn't possible at this time but two I know that I need to give my body at least 6 months before we even try again. I just long to be pregnant again and have baby to hold in my arms and to love!!! Ughhhhhh!!!!!! I just want to scream at all of these emotions I have going on. I just miss my baby girl so much and it just hurts me so that we only had 3 months to go and my damn body couldn't do that!!!!
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Re: Missing my baby

  • VyD81VyD81 member
    edited November 2013
    Big hugs. Scream whenever you need to. I'm sure someone on this board will always be here for you. Some days I wish I can fast forward time to when it gets a little easier, but then I would feel guilty for thinking that way. I definitely did not know the dept of grief until I lost my baby and wish we all did not have to go through this.
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    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • I'm so sorry. I definitely get this. I feel the same way most of the time. *Hugs*
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
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  • Big hugs to you.
  • I am so sorry sweetheart. We've all been there...sending lots of love

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    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

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  • Thank you ladies for your continued support. :)
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  • ***LO ticker*** I am so so sorry. ((Hugs))
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • I understand these feelings. My son was perfectly healthy and my body failed him. I still struggle with it.
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  • @weddedwife I know that I have to come to terms with it because when I get pregnant again I don't want to have that guilty feeling and not enjoy my pregnancy. I am truly hoping therapy helps me with this.
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  • I hope seeing a therapist will help you process those feelings of guilt.  It is so hard :(
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    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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