I am missing my daughter so much!! It's been just over two weeks and I am still trying to fight with this guilt that it wasn't my fault but that is so much easier said than done. I will be speaking with a therapist to help me understand that I can not blame myself but that is difficult to do when you child is perfect and you know that it's your body that failed your child. I so want to try right now for another baby but I do know that, one isn't possible at this time but two I know that I need to give my body at least 6 months before we even try again. I just long to be pregnant again and have baby to hold in my arms and to love!!! Ughhhhhh!!!!!! I just want to scream at all of these emotions I have going on. I just miss my baby girl so much and it just hurts me so that we only had 3 months to go and my damn body couldn't do that!!!!
Re: Missing my baby
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BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!